Feb.1, 2008 - The Month In Review

Hello Reader,

I am starting a new feature here on It's Okay called The Month In Review. On the first of every month I will write about the highlights of the previous month. Its a way to keep friends near and far current on what I'm doing.

I used to send an email out to a select group of people called Noel's News that did the same thing, but really, who wants to have someone else's life forced on them every month?

So my idea now is to write it here for everyone to read if they want. I will still send a link to the email list, for awhile at least, but this way if they don't want to read it, they don't have to come here and read it. Easy, peazy, not too sleazy!

So, January 2008 was a really fantastic month. I had a fun job working at an art gallery in Santa Monica.

Next, I found out the photo I shot for Playboy back in August of last year was finally in print, in the February issue of Playboy. You can see the photo HERE. If you read Playboy, its on page 20. No, I'm not the blond. Truth is you can hardly tell its me, but it was still fun to do, and how many men can say they were in Playboy!

I had many many commercial auditions and booked my first national commercial. It was for Civilization:Revolution, an interactive video game. Their new website will have three very funny commercials featuring characters from history. I play Abe Lincoln in two of them. Honest, I do. After the website launches they will cut thirty second spots that will air on TV. Our photos will also be used on the box art for the game. Very fun.

We had our first Bikini Movie Review party and had a blast hanging out with everyone who made it. The party was a thank you to everyone who has helped us create the site and a kick off for the growth we see for 2008.
Our friend, Steve Gibons was here from Chicago. Steve writes most of the music for Bikini Movie Review and it was great he was here to celebrate with us.

In addition to all that, I worked as a cater waiter most weekends. I also had two verbal altercations/fights with strangers and co-workers - in one night! That was strangely fun. A great release.

So here we are already in February. Kris (my wife, the supremely talented Kris Cahill)has proclaimed February the month of high havingness. What that means is we are going to allow the energy of havingness into our lives. We are going to "have" a lot. Not by worrying, or being in survival, but by letting it come to us. Alright, sounds good to me.

I hope you had a great January too. I hope you had a lot of fun and exciting work and a lot of good times. And I hope February will bring you much havingness also.

I'll write more in my daily posts, but this wraps up the first Month In Review.

Enjoy the photos!

Peace.

An Actor's Life #1

So a few days ago I told you I got a call back for the last project I expected to get called back for - playing Abe Lincoln doing a magic act with Catherine the Great. The call back was fun, I played around, the director gave me different things to try and I went with it, had a good time.

Then, because of the rain, I spent two hours driving from the valley to Santa Monica to go to work as a waiter. Within 15 minutes of going from the kitchen tent to the party area I was soaked. Good times.

I'm leaving out the story of the two fights I was in that night because I want to write about that seperately. More about that later.

Yesterday morning I go to an audition. Kris goes with me and we are going to go shopping afterwards. The parking lot at the Whole Foods in West Hollywood is packed, so Kris gets out and walks to the store and I navigate the parking lot. I finally park and I'm about to go into the store and I get a call from my agent. She sounds so excited. I already know what she is going to tell me.

"Are you sitting down?" she asks. That was kind of funny. "You were so surprised to get the call back for the Abe Lincoln role - and they just booked you!" A booking means you got the job. I was very happy, I still am. She gives me a few details, more coming later, and we are both very happy I got booked. I get off the phone and enter the store to find Kris and tell her the good news. Of course, being me, I can't just walk up to her and say " Honey, guess what, I just boked the Abe Lincoln gig!" No, I have to be funny. So I see her, and I walk up to her all stiff and formal and using a very deep Abe like voice I ask her if she knows how to get to the White House. She is looking at me quizically, like what is he doing and why and I have to find the canned tomato aisle. So she asks why I want to go to the White House, and I say I am the 16th President of the United States.

Little did I know that there was a man observing me and had a very concerned look on his face, like, who is this guy and is he going to hurt her? I can't see him, my back is to him. Soon Kris puts two and two together and screams out - "You got the job!" and gives me a high five. Kris could see the guy looked relieved to see she knew me. It was pretty funny. We were hugging and jumping in the cosmetic aisle at Whole Foods. I wonder how many actors get booked on jobs while shopping. I'll bet quite a few.

Of course I have a few questions, as any actor will try to interpret the scene. First, it is very good that after over 100 auditions and look sees and call backs, I finally booked a job. That will make my agent happy and she will continue to send me out. But of all the jobs I book, why does it have to be for the role of a very strange looking man? What does that mean? Now I really have a lot of respect for Lincoln, he seems like a really brilliant and stand up guy. But face it, but a beard and a stove top hat on anyone and they'll look like Lincoln.

But in reality, I know it was because I could goof around at the audition and play, and the director saw I could take direction well, and go with what he asked, have fun, and still keep a sort of formal stiffness to my Abe character. So to answer my own question, it's not that I look like Abe, it's that I was able to create a charming Abe like character that fit the director's own idea of what he wanted for this fun spot.

The project is for a video game called Civilization:Revolution, who are promoting their launch onto the next generation of game consoles. So in one of these very clever spots, Abe is doing a magic act with Catherine the Great, and in another, he insults Napoleon on a Jerry Springer type show. Very funny stuff.

My highest budget commercial job and hopefully one that will be seen by millions! And by high budget I mean I don't have to bring my own wardrobe and do my own make-up. I'm sure there will be a make-up person. I may even have my own dressing room. Oh, I can only hope. And a bowl of green M&M's please. Only green. Abe doesn't like red.

I'll include a photo of me as Abe in a follow up post next week.

Now I have to rush off and be a waiter. Later.

Playboy Photo

Oh BTW, I am in the February issue of Playboy magazine, page 20, but I caution you don't go out and buy it just for me. I'm only in one photo, and if you don't know me you wouldn't know it was me. In fact, here is the photo I am in, and if you want to read more about Chicago divorce attorney Corrie Fetman, click HERE to go to the Playboy website and read her column. Warning, it is the Playboy website.

Funny story: Last Friday I discovered that the photo was in the February issue and I went out to buy one on my way to an audition. After the audition, I was a few blocks from the office of a casting director I know, who I took a workshop with last year. His name is Dean Fronk of Pemrick/Fronk Casting. He always said to stay in touch, and stop by and see him when we are in the neighborhood. So I did.

I take the elevator to the Penthouse Suite, go to the reception desk, where there were not one, but two receptionists. This was a nice high-end casting office. Not like the dinky offices and photo studios I am used to. Ooh, nice.

To my surprise, I see a copy of Playboy on the desk next to the male receptionist. (Playboy in the Penthouse?) How strange, I thought. I haven't seen a copy of Playboy sitting out, other than at a traditional men's barbershop, in thirty years. And now, the one time I am in Playboy, here it is. So when the young male receptionist gets off the phone, and I am waiting to see Dean, I point to the Playboy and say, "I'm on page 20". It takes him a second to process what I mean, then he takes the magazine and turns to page 20 and says, "Hey, there you are!", just as Dean walks out to say hello. Very nicely timed, I must say. Dean was on his way out and so invited me to ride the elevator down with him. We chat, I tell him an audition horror story from last week, and he says good bye and invites me to stay in touch. Truely one of the nicest CD's I've met in LA.




Yeah, that's me, sitting and talking to Corrie. No, I'm not a divorcing business man, I just play one in Playboy! And no, I wasn't there for Corrie's nude shots.

No news and bad news...

No news on the call back yet. Those who have been following the story know that I was told I would hear something on Tuesday. That's today. It's now 10:28PM. I don't think I'm going to hear tonight. Fuck. You know how much energy I put into waiting?

The phone did ring tonight. No, it wasn't Heath Ledger, he didn't call me. He won't be making any more phone calls this lifetime.
No, it was my agent, telling me I got a call back for one of the auditions I did last week. The last one I would have suspected getting a call back for, the one where I portray Abe Lincoln doing a magic act with Catherine the Great!

What a crazy life this is. So I just went and bushed up on my Abe Lincoln history. Pretty interesting guy, really.

Okay, I just went and wrote a long three page handwritten blog entry, just cause I like to write. But now I'm too tired to type the whole thing. I'll do it tomorrow, before I go to the call back, and before I go to work as a waiter for a cocktail party for 1500 in Santa Monica. Fuck. That will be fun!

So I go to bed not knowing the answer, and in my heart knowing the answer.

Reject the rejection!

7 Days A Weak!

I'm glad today is a bank holiday. I don't feel guilty for not getting up and going to work. In fact, I'm still tired from working seven days last week. For a guy who only has a part-time job, (or three of them) I sure work a lot.

Last week was crazy, and I loved every minute of it.

I was taking a day off last Monday when I get a text message from my agent to hurry up and go to an audition in North Hollywood, in the valley. I was just about to go to the club, but instead detoured my schedule, found the sides (script) for the audition online, and raced over to N. Hollywood, learning the text while driving on the 101.

Tuesday I had one audition. I also learned I was called back for the creature-feature movie I mentioned a few posts ago. A call back, for those who don't know, means they saw a lot of actors for the project, and they whittled it down to a few choices for each role. In this case, the casting director said. "...we received 2500 photo submissions, of those we called in 120 actors to read, and of those we are calling back 21".

Already when an actor hears those numbers, it is really validating to have made the short list. Yeah!

So now I have until Saturday to prepare for the call back. Meanwhile, everyday I get more and more audition calls for the week.

I go to two on Wednesday, as well as a head shot session with a photographer. I need new head shots. I recently changed my hair style and need new head shots to reflect that.

On Thursday I have three commercial auditions, and I spent all day driving from downtown to Santa Monica to Hollywood and back to Santa Monica and then back downtown. About 75 miles all day.

I'm feeling like a working actor, even though all this driving around and auditioning is costing me a lot of money and I'm not getting paid. Each audition is like a job interview. I interview for a new job about 100 - 150 times a year. I get very few jobs, right now, but it is the most fun game in the world.

By Friday night, after eight auditions all week, I really have to concentrate on the call back. I have my wardrobe picked, I get my props set up, and I rehearse my lines for any of the ten scenes I may or may not read.

The call back was a lot of fun, and the 21 of us there are all excited and very friendly, even those competing for the same role. I look around the room of twenty-somethings, as six of the seven roles are for that age group, and I see only one other guy there for the same role as me. I recognize him from other auditions. We both have salt and pepper hair, both around the same age and height. 50/50 odds, I like that. He doesn't acknowledge me as he walks by.

My goal going into the audition was to psyche out the competition. I was really decked out like I imagined the character to be and wanted to instill doubt and fear into the competition. I think it worked. Lord knows it has worked on me in the past, only this time, I'm taking charge.

They call actors in by groups to see how they look and work together. For my role, they call the other actor in first, and he reads a few times, in a few configurations, and then I read in a few configurations. Then he reads another scene, and then he is sent home. I'm the last man standing, or maybe not?

The thing about casting, and I have been on both sides now, is you never really know what is going on and what they are thinking. I try not to think about it. I get called in a couple more times, and then I wait.

One wrinkle in the plan is I am scheduled for a party (my day job) on Saturday night and I am going to be late.

I try not to think about this either. I arranged to be late with a very nice and understanding party manager, but the longer I wait in the hallway, not being called in, the more distracting it is.

Finally, after waiting about 45 minutes, I am told I can leave. Only the twenty-somethings are left. Have they made up their minds about my character? Was I the last man standing, or was someone else being considered who wasn't there yet or didn't even need to show up? See how actors can overthink things and try to figure out the unfigureoutable?

Everything works out as planned, I get to the party late, but not so late that it messes anyone up.

During the party I get an email (on my new pretentious iPhone) from the casting director. It is to everyone thanking us for coming out and saying we all deserved to be there. Decisions will be made on Tuesday. Have a nice week-end. Agh! I have to wait three days? That is like an eternity to an actor waiting to hear something. Okay, just focus on work and watching the playoffs tomorrow.

The party goes very late and I don't get home until two AM and my next party is a luncheon Sunday morning and I have to be in Santa Monica at 8:30AM. So with little sleep, and very tired, I get up at 7, leave at 7:45 and am in Santa Monica at 8:15, sitting in front of the house, watching early morning walkers, joggers and bicyclists move up and down the curving street over looking the hills and valleys of the Santa Monica mountain range, Pacific Pallisades neighborhood, and the ocean. Not a bad way to start the day.

The party goes fine and I am home, tired and a bit beat, at around 6PM. I just want to crash on the couch and watch the last quarter of the GB/NYG game. I'm so sorry Green Bay doesn't win. NE/GB would have been an awesome Superbowl. Okay, just my opinion. I still want to watch it and see New England go all the way to an undefeated season and a Superbowl victory. That will be one for the records!

So anyway, you see why I'm tired today?

What a week. And as I sit and wait for the news tomorrow, and as I write this, I just got an email from my agent that I have an audition tomorrow. So it goes. I'm a working actor in Hollywood. And life is good.

I'll let you know what happens with the movie tomorrow, or as soon as I hear.

Noel

PS - see why I don't write everyday? I go on and on and on. It takes too long. Maybe someday I will write a book. It's one of my goals.

incontrovertible ®

Pictured above is incontrovertible ® , a piece of art by Xavier Cazares Cortez. Xavier is one of the three artists whose work is now hanging at the Patricia Correia Gallery in Bergamont Station, Santa Monica, CA. I was working as an art installer at the gallery last week. Xavier installed his show himself, I was only there to assist. The other two artists dropped off their work and I hung it, per Patricia's directions. That's what art installers do.

The opening was last night. In French, that would be a Vernissage. Vernissages are very fun. Ils sont tres chouette. Openings are also a lot of fun. You meet fun people. You have lots of laughs. I went to lots of Vernissages in Paris when I lived there. I miss Paris. I want to go back more often. We are going in November for Kris' Birthday. Yeah!

I had to miss the opening because I had to go to my other job, being a cater-waiter. I read about it in the paper though. It sounds like it was crazy. The LA Weekly said over 3000 people showed up and traffic was backed up all the way to the freeway at the Cloverfield exit. Lots of star sighting, lots of fun. Good times. I had to miss it. I had to miss the after party. I had to miss hanging out with my friends. F*ck'g day jobs.

I want to be free to party and go to cool places and hang out with cool people like me. Arghhh. I want to be in the jet set. Flying off to Sundance for the weekend. Attend an opening of a friend's show in Rome for the day. Attend a protest march in Manhattan, then go to Elaine's for drinks. That's what I want to do.

Last night, instead of being at the Vernissage, I worked a Bat Mitzvah. I have a lot to say about working as a cater-waiter at parties. I ranted and went on for 1/2 hour this morning to Kris when she asked how my night was. If I tried to recount the whole night again, here in this blog, right now, I'd still be writing in an hour, and frankly I don't want to work so hard tonight. I'm tired. I worked my ass off this week. I want to go watch some football. I recorded some of the playoff games yesterday and today, and I'm gonna go watch some. Even though I already know the outcome of the games, I can speed through it and just watch the cool parts. Maybe tomorrow I'll do my patented Waitergonebad® rant on being a waiter. It's fun.

And you know, for how hard I worked, I really got very little for it. Not as much as I think I'm worth, at least. And not that I blame the people I work for. it's not entirely their fault. It's America, baby.

In case you didn't know it, we are in a recession in America. Stagnant wages is one proof of a recession. I've said for years how crazy it is that in 1989 when I was a cater-waiter in New York City I made $16 dollars an hour plus tips. At the time, I was happy because the same job in Chicago paid only 10 -12 dollars an hour. But my rent in 1989, in Manhattan, was $425 a month. I shared a railroad apartment in Hell's Kitchen with my friend Chris. Now, I'm a cater waiter in Los Angeles, in 2008, and I still make $16 dollars an hour plus tips. Look at how the salary has stood still for 19 years. In Los Angeles, today, our rent is $2000 a month. I make the same amount of money but my rent has increased almost 400%. Am I the only person who is bothered by that? Hello! Is this microphone on!!!!!

Oh, yeah, back to incontrovertible ®. Xavier gave me the piece at the end of the day, when he was installing his show. It was midnight. I was going home. I'd been working for 12 hours. Xavier was still working. He asked me if I wanted a piece of art and gave me a choice of five small pieces he makes. I chose incontrovertible® because it reminded me that my eyes are changing. It reminded me that a few months ago I visited the eye doctor and got a new prescription for glass lenses, but I haven't been able to afford getting the new glasses. Yeah, $16 dollars an hour doesn't go very far these days.

Xavier stenciled my name on the back and wrote, "The work of art in the age of the mechanical reproduction" He initialed it. It is # 7/250.

I like the word incontrovertible. It means:

incontrovertible |inˌkäntrəˈvərtəbəl| adjective not able to be denied or disputed : incontrovertible proof.

Proof of what, you ask? Yes, indeed.

Noel

Check out www.bikinimoviereview.com Many are. Join the crowd.

What a week!

I worked at an art gallery all week in Santa Monica. 41 hours in 4 days, so there was no time to write. Fun work, being an "installer", hanging around art and artists all day. Beats clearing dishes and bussing tables at a Bat Mitzva. Oh, yeah, I forgot, that's tonights job.

Anyway, I wasn't around all week, so I couldn't write. When I did get home, about midnight, I had to do all my other chores, go through the audition break downs and submit myself for future work. The gallery job was a blessing, but I also missed three auditions and my agent is probably pissed. Oh well, when she pays my rent I won't have to take a day job.

I have an audition this morning in a few minutes, so I gotta run. Its for a creature-feature. You know, car breaks down in the desert, monster comes at night to kill, the survivors have to figure out how to stay alive. I'd love to do a film like that. I'll let you know.

I never heard back from the hosting job for the food pilot. Shit, I would have loved that one. You can't get too attached to anything, you know? The actor's life is funny. Sure you want every job you audition for, but you know you won't get it. You're happy for the ones you do get, and the rest you just have to let go.

GLPNTmz#sdkFop*ritunvDdf&Vnld@iftunZweqrnXgensssssss !!!!! That was the sound of me letting go!

What do you have to let go of?

Thanks for your comments! I carry the letter with me.

Hurry up and be successful!

Letter to myself on this Sunday in January, 2008:

Dear Noel,

How are you? How was work last night as a waiter? It sucked didn't it? Yeah, I feel ya. So if you hate it so much, why don't you do something about it? Stop talking and start walking, no running, towards the life you want.

Why don't you get off you arse and change your life? Concentrate all your powers and laser beam the forces of life and creative energy to where you want them. Send out lightening bolts of intention to the places they need to go most.

You know what you want and what you have to do. See it happening and let the seeing guide you to the making it happen.

The car is an amazing machine. Almost effortlessly you turn a small key, you push a pedal with your foot, and turn a wheel with one hand, and you can travel thousands of miles. That is your life. Now imagine the car won't start, the key won't turn, nothing happens when you push the pedal. It's not running, and you have to push the car to a repair shop. How's that going for you? Pushing the car up hill? Not very easy, is it? So stop being in effort and just turn the key and point all your intentions in the right direction.

Or, just sit back and pretend it will go on its own and go to work as a waiter and be in pain.

What do you want to do, let things get so bad that you can't see the future? Or change things now so you can say you almost let things go too far but at the last minute found the courage to have the success you deserve? Which one sounds better on Entertainment Tonight? The loser story or the winner story? I think you know. I know you can do it.

Hey, I don't care about writer strikes and bad economic times, successful people will always have success no matter what is going on. That is what you have to be now. A successful person in successful times.

I'm only writing this to you because I know what you are going through. I know things look bleak sometimes, and I know you like that, being on the dark side. But now it's time to see the light.

This little pep talk sounds kind of like Kris doesn't it? She is the positive light in your life, isn't she? Well, she's there for you and really wants you to succeed too! So do it for you!

Print this out and keep it in your wallet so you don't forget it. I know you can do it.

Let me know how this goes for you. Write soon,

Noel

Coffee In Bed

Kris and I are drinking coffee and tea in bed. Its a thing we started a few months ago that we have made a daily ritual. The first one up puts on the water, makes the coffee and tea, and brings it to the other - in bed. It's like that old game you play with fortune cookies; add " in bed" after reading the fortune. "I'd like a cup of coffee please, in bed!"

Coffee in bed is a lot of fun. I thought I might have spilled some coffee by now, but I haven't. We sit up, we sip, we talk. We play pleasant music in the background. A calming cup of coffee. Ah, how I love coffee. Did you know coffee makes you smart?

We used to get up and drink our coffee and tea, and we would go straight to the computer and start checking email and working. That was okay, and some days I still have to do that, if I have to go to work early. But most days now we start like this, a little John and Yoko moment, a little togetherness moment, a little peace and quiet before the hustle and the bustle.

Today Kris got up first. I was groggy. I was still thinking about my dreams. I was still thinking about the movie we saw last night (Mira Nair's The Namesake - Three Pears on the Bikini Movie Review). I heard all the familiar morning sounds; water running into the tea pot, electric igniter turning the flame on on the range, flame going on, cups being washed. Then I smelled the coffee as the steaming water hit the grinds in my French press carafe.

Then Kris brings me a cup of coffee. I sit up, we get the pillows all situated just right. Lately we've also started reading blog entries to each other. Usually Kris reads me her blog entry from the day before and all the comments she gets. She thinks I don't read her blog because I'm so busy, but really its because I like her to read it to me in bed.

We are our small daily rituals. What are some of your small daily rituals? How many of them can you do in bed?

2008 - Day 2 - Holidays are over!

Thank god the holidays are over. I'm tired of all this forced good cheer and peace and love and shit. Let's get back to normal, and quick.

So anyway, I just have a few minutes, I have to get back to work. I have an audition on Friday for a new TV show, and I have to write my own audition. I have to write and host a segment of this new TV show and I have to make it interesting and fabulous! I'm looking forward to it though, because if there was anything I would be perfect for, the host position on this show would be it.

I don't want to go into to many details yet, but its a "how to" kind of show all about food. I'm going to write about something I know; how salmon gets canned. You see I worked in a salmon cannery for two summers when I was younger, so I know all about it. Contrary to popular belief, they don't just put open cans in the water and wait for the salmon to swim into them. No, canneries wait till the fish are caught and brought there. Then the fun begins.

Canneries are really dangerous places. Its cold, its wet, there are sharp knives and dangerous machines everywhere. The cement floors are wet and covered with fish slime, oil and guts. People work long hours. They are tired and cranky. They throw fish guts at each other and make bad jokes. Oh, and the coffee sucks.

12 hours of gutting fish on the slime line is a horrendous job. Its repetitive and hard on the body. You are always cold as the temperature inside has to be kept low to maintain the product. It's wet; there is water spraying everywhere. Standing on a cement floor in rubber boots, up to your ankles in fish guts, wearing a rain slick over the warmest clothes you have, you really can start to hate fish. I bet the fish would hate us more though, if they were still alive and were capable of such thoughts. Anyway, when the salmon are running and the cannery is in full operation, it can be a very exciting place. Everyone is working, everyone is partying, and everyone is thinking about what they'll do when the season is over and they have some money.

After my second year in the cannery, after 56 straight days of work, after putting in 110 to 115 hours on the clock each week, I was able to go to Paris and live for about six months on the money I made in 9 weeks. Not a bad trade-off.

When gutting a fish, you stick a knife in its belly and rip up from one end to the other. Then, spreading its fleshy sides, remove the internal organs from esophagus to anus. Sometimes I found interesting things they ate recently, like rocks and stones, but I once found a coin inside a fish. I don't remember what happened to it. I also remember seeing fish with bear claw marks on them. They escaped the bear, but ran into a net. Oh, well.

Fish destined to be sold fresh or fresh frozen had to be treated delicately to maintain their integrity, and therefore, the highest price.

Fish destined for the cannery are treated with less care, and they are sent to machines to be headed, gutted, finned and prepped for canning. The name of the machine that did all that in one smooth flow was the "Chink". Not very PC now a days, but it harkens back to another time, to the beginning of the cannery era, when most of the workers were Chinese laborers. I found a picture of a cannery in operation in 1908, and the caption read, "Iron Chink at work..." In 1984, it was still called the Chink. Dangerous machine that one. I saw a guy stick his hand in too far to retrieve a fish and get his arm broken. He was trying to stop a fish from clogging the works. Bad decision, made because he was over tired and not thinking clearly. He was lucky in one respect; after getting back from the hospital with his arm in a cast, the cannery found a soft dry cushy job for him for the rest of the season. Better than paying unemployment for them, I guess.

Anyway, after the fish are prepped, they get chopped up and put in cans, skin bones and all. The chopped fish are sent down to the "piano bar", that's a line where the chopped fish are spread out nice and evenly so they fall evenly into the cans. The workers on the "piano bar" quickly spread the flesh with both hands as it goes down a conveyor, and it kind of looks like they are playing a key board, hence the name, the piano bar. I subbed on that line a little, though it was mostly women.

After the cans are filled and before they are sealed, they go down another line where workers, again mostly women, remove flesh from the overfilled cans and put flesh in the lighter cans. A can too full may not seal properly, and a can too light won't weigh enough.

The filled cans are then sealed, and sent to the oven where they are baked for 90 - 120 minutes at a high temperature. This will kill all bacteria, and also soften the bones and skins and makes them edible. Salmon is a unique fish in that there are not too many bones, they can be eaten, and when the consumer opens the can it has a pleasant look to it.

So, that's cannery 101 in a nutshell.

Anyway, I got to go write a fish story, and you have to go back to whatever it is you do. What do you do anyway?

If you ever worked at a cannery, write me and tell me about it.

Happy New year 2008

Hi World:

Well, after almost six months of inactivity on this blog, welcome to 2008. I sure am glad to have a new year ahead of me. 2007 was great, but 2008 will be even greater. I just know it.

2007 was my first full year, end to end, in Los Angeles. I really like living here, even with all the challenges. I love the potential and the opportunity that exists around every corner.

2008 will be the year my new project, the one I said I would tell you about six months ago, will really take off. In 2007, Kris and I started Bikini Movie Review, a fun movie review and comedy website featuring women in bikinis reading movie reviews and just having a lot of fun. Please check it out and pass it on to your friends.

2008 is an election year. I'm looking forward to participating in the democratic process of voting and electing a new president.

2008 will be the year I book a television show guest star spot, a national commercial, and another feature film role. That's what I want, that's what I'm going to have.

2008 will be the year I play more music.

2008 will be the year I work even harder.

2008 will be the year I get out of debt.

2008 will be the year I write in this blog everyday.

I hope you have a great 2008 and let me know what you want and if you get it.

Peace.

Noel

A new project is brewing!

In a few weeks I'll be able to share with you a new project I have been working on for the last few months. I'm keeping it very hush-hush and top secret so the big launch will be a surprise, but I can say it is very exciting and I am having a great time putting it together.

Earlier I wrote about losing weight and getting fit and all that, but one of the unexpected results of all that exercise and moving my body around was a clearing of the energy surrounding my creativity. Maybe because I have more energy, I have more energy to create. Or maybe my creativity was stirred from its slumber. I am writing and creating more than I have in years.

In a few weeks I'll share it with you.

Do you think you're free?

Happy July 4th, 2007. Independence Day! Home of the free and land of the brave. A lot has changed since 1776, though to hear some people speak, that shouldn't have any bearing on how we interpret the constitution and the laws of this great land.

Today I just want to ask you, are you free? Do you live your life the way you want? Always and at all times?

Do you make decisions based on what you want? Or do external forces and what others want for you influence you choices? Because that to me is the essence of freedom.

There is no right or wrong. I just think today is a good day to think about these things and see if any adjustments can be made to our lives to get closer to the ideal of freedom.

So many people give lip service to freedom. A dark cloud hangs over freedom these days, and until we start living free lives, that cloud will cover us all until it's too dark and too strong to ever recover from.

Ashley Marriott's Burn and Firm

As I wrote about in previous blog entries, earlier this year I was selected to participate in a workout program, Ashley Marriott's Burn and Firm. In exchange for my testimonial, my before and after pictures, and my consent to appear on the eventual DVD program, I received 12 weeks of free fitness training with Ashley.

It was something I really wanted to do on my own; work out and lose a few pounds, but I knew I never would. For me it's easier to sit at the computer and work for 12 hours than get up and workout for an hour. So I challenged myself, and soon I was hooked on working out. I was going to class six times a week. A lot of it had to do with Ashley, who is so motivating and enthusiastic it was infectious. But this is old ground, I've covered all this before.

Here are the results. If you visited here earlier, you probably saw the before and after pictures, but I have taken them down. I felt silly having them up here. All my friends have seen them already, so I'd rather not have them up on the web for eternity.

Here are the results of my 12 week fitness program with Burn and Firm by Ashley Marriott. Pounds lost: 19. Inches lost: 15 1/2. Waist before: 36 1/2. Waist after: 31. Bodyfat before: 21%. Body Fat After: 12 1/2%.

In the two months since the training ended I continue to workout on my own and lost a few more pounds. It is now easy to get up and go to the club. Working out is not a chore, but a fun challenge.

If you want a fun workout that really delivers results, either move to Los Angeles and hire Ashley Marriott as your personal trainer, or buy her Burn and Firm DVD when it comes out. Thanks, Ashley!

A picture is worth 1000 words...

Seriously, do you think we'll hit $4 a gallon in California by the summer as predicted?
If more stations follow the lead of this Hollywood station I drove by on 4/18/07, it won't take long.

This is not a normal price, I will tell you that. It is 25-30 cents more per grade than the average LA area station. So how come this station charges so much? Obviously they are getting it. In a non emergency situation, can you call that gouging? No one is making you stop there.

Oh, well, fossil fuels will some day be a thing of the past. Maybe in my lifetime. What's next?

30 days to go; a lifetime of fun begins.

At my weekly weigh in today, I was down another pound from last week, for a total of ten pounds in 8 weeks, and another 1/2 inch off my waist, for a total of 4 1/2 inches. I feel pretty good about that.

With 4 weeks left to go in the Burn and Firm program, I am very close to achieving the
goals I set at the start. But the main thing I am getting out of this experience, besides the weight loss and the all around boost of confidence, is that I have replaced the eating and exercise habits that weren't working, with new healthy habits that do work. It took 12 years to put on about 40 pounds, so I don't expect to lose everything in 12 weeks, but it is a good start. I will post before and after pictures at the end of the program.

So, now I look forward to a lifetime of healthy eating, exercise, and looking good on the beach. Hey, I live in California!

If I can do it, anyone can do it. Just get out there and kick some abs!

Friday The 13th

I feel lucky today, how about you? First off, good morning, how are you?

When I turn the page on the calendar to a new month, the first thing I do is check for three things; when is the full moon, are there two this month, and is there a Friday the 13th? If there is, like today, I am very happy, because I like Friday the 13th. I also like walking under ladders and having black cats cross my path. I like the added challenge and excitement they bring to my life.

You see, I am superstitious, but just not in the way most people are. For example, I'll never utter the name of the "Scottish Play", or whistle, backstage in a theatre, for that would surely bring disaster. And I always bring my baseball glove, the one I've had since I was 13 years old, to the ball park, even though I have never caught a ball, fair or foul, and it never really helps my team win. Is that a tradition or a superstition? Not sure. But I do it.

I wear a silver St. Genesius medallion for good luck at auditions and on stage. That goes back to my days in Teen Footlighters. The medallion was given to me by my dear old friend, Mickey Henningsen. Is that a tradition or a superstition? Not sure. But I do it.

I always touch the outside of an airplane when I board, as I cross the portal from the jet way onto the aircraft, to make sure the plane is real. Is that a tradition or a superstition? Not sure. But I do it.

When I enter or exit an automobile, I alway look for open holes in the ground near the car, like sewer grates or chasms in the ground that my keys might fall in if I dropped them, and I grip the keys tightly in my hand until I'm safely in the car and the doors are closed or the doors are locked and the keys safely back in my pocket. Is that a tradition or a superstition? Not sure. But I do it.

If I see a coin on the street, I check to see if it is heads-up or tails-up before I pick it up. Is that a tradition or a superstition? Not sure. But I do it. Oh, I pick up the coin either way, but I never pick up a coin if it is less than a nickel.

But Friday the 13th to me is not an unlucky or superstitious day. It's a fun day, a lucky day. So I wish you all a lot of luck today, and always.

PS: I hope Kurt Vonnegut is safely up in heaven where he deserves a special seat of honor at The Good Guys Table. He sure was one of the good ones. Good luck up there, Kurt.

I'm so vain.

Good morning. I'm fine, thank you, how are you?

Today I would like to talk about vanity. Not vanity in general, but my own. I am vain, I admit it. I check out my reflection in shop windows when I walk down the street. I can't pass a mirror without at least slowing down to see how I look, and I have been working hard lately to get myself back in shape.

As an actor, how I look directly affects how often I might work. My body is my tool, the canvas on which I sculpt a character, and so I have to be very aware of it, in control of it. I have to be very comfortable in it, and I haven't been as comfortable these past few years as I would like to be. Also, as an American brought up in the 20th century, I have issues with my body like everyone else.

You see I was very overweight as a child, and I still have not fully gotten over that experience. I have been struggling with weight issues since I was 7 years old. And let me tell you, being an overweight child is no fun. I was harassed by my family, I was harassed by other children, and even a few teachers got their jabs in too. Fat people are targets, easy targets, for an insecure nation. At my heaviest I weighed in at about 220 pounds. That was when I was 15. There are very few photos of me back then. I tried every diet known back then, from Dr. Atkins Diet Revolution (which became so popular again twenty years later in the carb-conscious-nineties) to Weight Watchers. What could be more fun for a 12 year old on a Saturday morning than to go sit in a room with a bunch of overweight middle-age ladies and hear a motivational pep talk at Weight Watchers? Then be applauded at the scale for losing weight the previous week? Go ahead, make my week! They all worked for awhile, but I was a yo-yo, up and down, up and down.

When I was fifteen, I was taken to see Dr. Happy, who prescribed "diet pills", (narcotic amphetimines), to help me lose weight and stop looking like a blimp. They worked for my Aunt Madeleine, and they worked very well for me too. Dare I say extremely well. Maybe even too well. I lost a lot of weight, but had a lot of sleepless nights, and continue to grind my teeth even now, thirty years later.

Like all fat teenagers, there was no more hated time than the dreaded GYM class. Being made fun of in the locker room or the shower was enough to make me cut gym and or cut school altogether. (Do kids still say "cut" class? I hope so.) I couldn't run, I couldn't play basketball, there wasn't a single sport I was good at, except binge eating. In that I excelled. Until I met Dr. Happy. Dr. Happy changed all that with his magic pills and his advice at my bi-weekly weigh-in. I remember the Dr. actually smoked during my visit, as he looked at my chart, made a few notes, and asked me how I was feeling. I was hip to the game after awhile, so I told him the pills were no longer working as well, I needed more, and asked him to up the dose, which he usually did. Ah, Preludin, you were my best friend in high school. Did you see Aronofsky's Requiem For A Dream? Remember when Ellen Burstyn visits the diet doctor, gets the speed pills, and eventually gets really paranoid and goes crazy? That was me. Good times.

But I digress. I started talking about vanity and got sidetracked by my history of being overweight. It is important though, because even though I eventually shed most of the weight and was to most casual observers, thin, the effect on my body image has never really healed. Even though at long last I was within the norms of the Insurance Industry's height/weight charts for my height/weight, I still thought of myself as fat. That must be pretty common, like phantom limb syndrome, phantom fat syndrom.

The world looked at me and saw a thin person, but I didn't. I'll never forget the thrill I felt as I was being arrested in New Orleans one time and the booking officer called me Slim, as in "Hey Slim, let's see a profile". Was he talking to me? I was in heaven! I was really at the central police station, but it was heaven to me.

Shedding a fat body image is a difficult thing to do, but I think I am finally close to accepting myself as the newly thin person I am. Which leads me back to vanity.

So, I was thin for many years, and I felt good. I traveled around the world, I was athletic, I worked out, I had many girl friends, I went back into theatre, studied mime and physical theatre in Paris, and oh, did I mention I had many girl friends? For a fat kid who had a hard time talking to girls, that was huge.

Eventually I moved back to Chicago, where I met Kris and we married. I was an actor at first, but about ten years ago I quit acting and got into the film business. Working on movies is a passion for me, but with it came the crazy hours, the easy access to crappy food and snacks, and the unhealthy lifestyle that saw me care less about my body to get the job done. I went from my adult low weight of 155 up to 195 in about five years. I was embarrassed, but had no time or will power to change it. I am lucky, I guess, in that I can carry some extra weight and conceal it rather well. The men in my family all have big guts, except for my brother Steve, which is where most of my weight stuck, but it spread out pretty evenly so with a jacket and good fitting clothes I didn't look "fat".

In addition to gaining weight, or because of it, I wasn't happy with my job, I needed a change. The extra weight brought stress and the stress brought extra weight. The cycle was repeating.

Then about three years ago I got back into acting, did less film production work, and started to make decisions that were better for me. I started to listen to that little voice that tells you what you really want, what you should really do with your life. Getting back on stage again made me happy and that motivated me to lose weight. I was being seen again.

A year ago Kris and I made a huge lifestyle change; we moved to Los Angeles where I dedicate myself to acting. Los Angeles is very body conscious, in case you didn't know that. And Hollywood is quick to typecast or bodycast actors.

By the time I moved to LA last year I was down to about 180, but still carried a bit of a spare tire around the middle. Now there is nothing wrong with that, unless you don't want to carry a spare tire around the middle. It's not the healthiest way to be, and it wasn't how I wanted to look. I wanted to be thin. I wanted nice clean lines again. I wanted to be a thin person on television, not the middle-age guy with a spare tire on television.

I'm so vain, I guess I think this blog is about me, don't I, don't I?

Two months ago I saw an audition notice for a workout video. The offer was this; 8 weeks of free personal training in exchange for a committment to going a certain number of times per week and allowing before/after pictures and a testimonial. I applied for and was accepted into Ashley Marriott's Burn & Firm Training program. The duration of the program was extended to 12 weeks, and week 4 just ended.

This is the best thing I've done in a long time. It is really working out well for me. I knew I needed to work out, and I wanted to lose another 10-15 pounds, but I lacked the self-motivation to do it. I knew if I was accepted into this program and made the committment, I would follow through. I needed an external push, kind of like diet pills, only healthier. Much healthier. Ashley is wonderful; she's motivating, encouraging, is a great trainer with great information, and is helping to replace old unhealthy patterns with new healthy ones in all of us. I see the difference in my self and all the other people in the program. And, it doesn't require a class three narcotic prescription from a doctor!

Ashley's Burn & Firm program is a combination of dance steps and aerobic exercises that strengthen, tone and build endurance. The cardio work is burning fat and the strengthening work is building muscle. After the first four weeks I look better, I feel better, and I sleep better. I started the program at 171 pounds, and am now at 167. I went from a 36 1/2 waist to a 34, and also went down at my chest, thighs and hips. See, I told you I was vain. And with 8 more weeks to go, I am confident I will hit my target weight of 160, with a 32 inch waist. Then when I walk down the street and check myself out in store windows, I'll really like what I see.

Getting in shape is really getting in touch with your body and spirit. I am getting back in my body, getting comfortable in my body. For an actor, that is really important. Remember I said this is my tool, this is what I have to work with. I can't work as effectively if I am thinking about how to hide my weight, or how this costume makes me look fat. (Does this fat-suit make me look fat?) I have to take that out of the mix. There is enough to think about as it is while acting. The choices I make with my body and voice in real time are difficult enough without the insecurity of not being comfortable with my body.

So yes, I am vain, I am an actor. And I am a better actor now that my mind/spirit is more connected, more comfortable in my body, my spaceship, I travel through this life in.

I will post the embarrassing before and the powerfully motivating after pictures in approximately 8 weeks when the Burn and Firm program ends. Until then, I hope you all feel great in your spaceships and have a great time travelling through your life here on planet Earth.

I play one on TV...

I'm not a cop, never wanted to be one, but playing one on TV is another story. I could do that all day long. Good cops, bad cops, it doesn't matter.

But I'd like to have a good catch phrase, you know, something people will remember. Like, "Book 'em, Dano", or, "Who loves you baby?" I'd like to see tee-shirts with my catch prase, and posters, and bill boards. A big bill board on the Sunset Strip of me telling the perp, "Wasn't such a good idea now was it shit-for-brains" as I cuff him. Or, "Rights? Don't make me laugh!"
Yeah, I like that.

As you can tell, I probably had a good time playing a cop on LA Forensics. Playing a cop is much better than actually being a cop, I'm sure. No one really shoots at you, the hours are better, and you always get the bad guy.

Everyone on the crew of LA Forensics was very nice, they work quick, and treated us actors well. What more can you ask for? I got to play, and that's what I'm here for.

I took a few photos while we were on set. That's me above with a badge and a gun, and then four of us in our TV cop show pose.

Hey, why do I like playing a cop so much? Is it the power a cop has? Am I becoming reactionary as I get older? Do I really wish I could carry a gun and dole out punishment to those who transgress the laws of our great nation? Man, now I'm confused. I wish I knew what was right?

"Rights? Don't make me laugh."

LA Forensics

Well, it's just a few weeks short of one year since I moved to Los Angeles. I am still full of certainty that it was the right thing to do and that I am on my way to getting what I want here. The pieces are falling into place.

Today I will do my first TV show in a featured role. I will be the lead detective investigating a crime on LA Forensics, a show that airs on the Court TV network. I don't know if it airs outside of Los Angeles. I watched it last night, and it breaks down a real crime with interviews with the real detectives, and filmed recreations of the crime and how it was solved by LAPD.

I am booked for three days and I'm looking forward to it. It should be some good stuff for my reel, and it should be a real hoot. I get to look all serious and play a cop on TV. While the recreations are without dialog as a voice over explains what's happening, I've already been rehearsing the lines I remember from so many cop shows: Where were you the night of...You're lying!....Come on, let me help you out here....You scum bag, why I have shit on the bottom of my shoes with more brains than you...Miss, what were you doing with six grams of crack up your ass?... The perp knew the vic...he's getting away!!!...stop, LAPD!...and other fun things like that.

I think this is my first cop role.

Book em!