Blind Ed

Two posts in one day?

Well, it's been a few weeks since I did my shoot on the "adult feature" Pirates II. It was such a fun day. I was treated very well, I worked with really interesting people, and I thought I did a great job.

My role, a comedic character who helps the hero along on his journey, was really fun to shoot. Wearing a latex eye patch over one eye and a "blind" contact lens in the other was interesting, but not comfortable at all. Here is what I looked like:




The makeup department did an awesome job.

It was a really professional shoot. The crew was top notch. The wardrobe, sets, and costumes matched any studio production I've ever been on. Joone, the director, really knew what he wanted and how to get it. I just had a blast. I can't wait to see it. And I hope I get invited to the premiere. That will be one fun party.

Word on the set was that Pirates II may get an R rated release, which would mean a lot of people might see this movie, and me. I hope so. I have three films still in the can, all set to be released this year. It could be a big year!

Phantom Love in Chicago 2/29-3/06

Greetings Reader,

How are you? It's getting pretty late, are you okay to drive home from here? If not, leave your keys with the bartender and hitch-hike home.

Say, are you from Chicago? I thought so. I could tell by the way you say "gimee a beef samich". Which is strange because I don't have beef sandwiches.

What am I selling? Dreams, my friend, pure dreams. Want one? I thought so. Who doesn't. Here, put this in your pocket and don't look at it until you get home.

You ever been to Facets on Fullerton? No, not the scrap iron place, the movie theatre. They show art films and stuff like that. Yeah, right, next to the sub shop. That's the one. Well if you go there this week you can see me in a movie. No I'm not shitting you. Yeah, me, in a movie, up on the big screen. No, I'm not in the new Harry Potter movie, not yet at least. But I hope I'll be in the last one.

No, I'm in a film called Phantom Love and its playing this week only. So go see it. No, no car chases. No, no explosions. Yeah, there is sex. There are snakes. And there is magic. There are boats and clouds and gambling too. And a river. Oh, and it's in beautiful black and white. Yeah, shot on film. No, film, you know, sprockets and emulsion and chemicals and shit. Yeah they sell popcorn. No, really, I'm not kidding you. I'm in the film. I play a preacher. On TV. A TV preacher. Yeah, all fire and brimstone this and burn in hell that. Check it out.

No, I don't get paid more if you see it, I just want you to go see a cool film and be like, "hey, I know that dude in the movie".

Here are the details. See it if you want. Drive home safely.

Phantom Love by Nina Menkes
in Chicago at Facets Cinematheque
1517 West Fullerton Ave
Chicago, IL 60614
773.281.4114
www.facets.org/cinematheque

Fri., Feb. 29 at 7 & 9 pm

Sat.-Sun., Mar. 1-2 at 3, 5, 7 & 9 pm

Mon.-Thurs., Mar. 3-6 at 7 & 9 pm


Chicago Reader Review:
http://onfilm.chicagoreader.com/movies/critic.html

Oscar Sunday

I didn't want the day off today, but I have it, so I am going to make the best of it. Of course the best part will be spending the day with Kris, in our loft, working and then watching the Oscars on TV.

No Oscar parties for us this year. No galas or after parties or designer gowns and tuxedos. Maybe next year.

I haven't made any predictions for who will win tonight, but after seeing There Will Be Blood last night, I feel fairly certain that Daniel Day Lewis will walk away with the statue for Best Actor in a Lead Role. The film is remarkable, and DDL's performance was so nuanced and believable. (Was the opening an homage to My Left Foot?) What a despicable character.

I say nuanced and believable because as Bill The Butcher in Gangs of New York, he was fun, but I thought he was over the top and chewing everything in site.

And as Kris pointed out, I like how PT Anderson chose to look at the early titans of oil and show how evil they were, right from the start. First we'll steal from Americans, then we'll steal from the rest of the world. Pure evil. Delicious for filmmakers and artists, not so nice for the real people who have lost their lives and fortunes over oil.

For a guy who runs a movie review website, I admit I haven't seen most of the nominated films this year. In the best picture category I have only seen three of the five, and I am going to give the award to There Will Be Blood.

I hope by next year to build up Bikini Movie Review to a more recognized brand name and have a reporter on the red carpet. In a bikini of course. Cold and rainy as it may be.

And let me ask you, if the powers that be at A.M.P.A.S know how cold and rainy it is or can be in LA in February, why move the awards to this time from March? Huh? Why? Well don't complain about the weather then, okay? Just the thought of all those stars getting rained on thrills me.

Okay, gonna post this now before the ceremony starts. Off to more busy work in the life of an artist/actor/writer/producer/filmmaker/waiter.

I never thought I'd say that again. I'm a waiter. I'm a waitergonebad®. I thought I had hung up my apron for good, but it goes to show you, you never really know what life has in store for you sometimes.

Hey the sun just came out for a minute, maybe I'll go down stairs for a quick swim. Yes, I will.

I do have a call back tomorrow for a car commercial, so that is good.

Enjoy the fashions, the laughs and the celebration of tonights Oscars! Long live the cinema!

My own private Boogie Nights.

Before I get into the audition I just did at a San Fernando Valley porn studio, let me tell you about the party I worked at last night, The Black Eyed Pea's Peapod Foundation Gala. It was a star studded event at the Apollo Theatre in Hollywood. I was working the VIP buffet, which was only for about 300 of the 900 invited guests. I saw Dennis Haysbert, one of my favorite characters on the series, 24. And the funniest moment was when Dennis bent over to say hello to Dr. Ruth, who came up to his belly button, or just about. He really had to bend over. Laurence Fishburne was there. And of course the Black Eyed Peas put on a show. And many friends and guests appeared on stage with them. When I got a chance to peek at the stage, I saw the BEP joined by Slash, Snoop Dog, and MC Hammer. It was a really hard party because of all the people in such a small space. When I was sent home at 1AM, (they cut the early people to save on OT) the band was still playing. I was happy to go, I didn't want to be there till 4AM. I had an audition today!

So the audition was for a sequel to a very popular porn film called Pirates. The box cover is a Pirates of the Caribbean knock-off. What separates this porn film from most are the high production values and a story. Now I haven't seen the film, but from what I read, it is still a very popular title and continues to sell well. In fact, the US DVD distributor is the same company the distributed Cup Of My Blood, the feature I produced. I'm sure MTI had more success with Pirates than with Cup.

Anyway, I saw the audition notice on Craig's List, and the reason I responded was because it said there was no nudity and no sex in these scenes, it paid, and the character was a blind pirate. I love playing pirates! So I submit a head shot and I get an email back that they would like to see me, and I am given an audition time and sent the sides. Sides are the pages from the script for that character that you have to read at the audition.

The scene I have to read is so funny I can't believe it. It is really funny and well written. Basically, they're auctioning off women, and the blind pirate asks the auctioneer to describe one particular beauty. Its really funny, and I was going to play it over the top.

So I drive out to Van Nuys, in the valley, home of the porn industry, and go to a nondescript cinder block building on a nondescript street off the 405.

There are a half dozen other guys standing out front going over sides. I park and check in with the CD (casting director), and ask to use the bathroom. The first thing I see in the lobby are posters for Pirate on the walls, and other titles they have produced.

To get to the bathroom I walk past the warehouse where thousands of DVD's are waiting to be shipped. The bathroom is covered with centerfolds and posters and stacks of porn in the stall.

I slip into my pirate costume. Head scarf, eye patch, and earring. I have a cane, and I'm wearing a black sleeveless tee, black jeans, and my pointy renaissance faire shoes.

The fun thing about going into an audition in costume and character like that is it can really mess with the minds of the other guys auditioning.

The CD is very amused. After a few minutes he calls three of us up stairs to where the readings are going on. Now I don't want to jinx myself, but judging from what I heard, I was not in the company of the best actors in Hollywood, or even Van Nuys.

Anyway, the guy before me is also reading for the blind pirate character. The door was open so I could hear him. He was "reading", and he spoke the text like some one reading an IRS tax form. It was so flat and boring I couldn't help but be buoyed by hearing him.

I'm next. I have the eye patch over my dark sunglasses, and I crash into the wall like I can't see on my way into the room.

Well, I tore into the scene and chewed on it like nobodies business. I gave it my all; pirate voice, pirate manner, and pirate fire.

Whatever happens, it was a good story. It will be even better if they hire me! Almost as good a story as my audition at the Scientology Celebrity Center soon after I moved to LA. They didn't hire me.

You can be sure if I am cast as the blind pirate, you will read about it here. Have a great weekend!

A List Party

It's about time I got to work a fun celebrity party. And work I did! The homes in the Hollywood Hills are quite lovely, until you have to carry lots of dishes up and down three flights of steps hundreds of times a night!

Saturday I worked a birthday party for a talent agent at a major agency. There were a lot of A-list talent there. We were told before the party to give great service, remain invisible, and don't give out any head shots. "What about scripts" I asked?

Some of the guests I served, who ate appetizers off my tray, included Laura Linney, (so sweet) Jennifer Aniston (very pretty, nice shoes) Orlando Bloom, Natalie Portman, Christina Ricci, Rachel McAdams and Jason Bateman.

A pretty nice gathering, a fun party, lots of cigarettes, and everyone exclaimed how bad they were being for eating anything other than carrot sticks. When the cake came out, you could just see them making plans for extra personal training sessions on Monday with every bite.

There was a psychic at the party, and all I could think of was that it should have been Kris. I can't wait till Kris is psychic to the stars, and reading all these people! How fun. I kept emailing Kris all night with updates...Jen's shoes are marvelous...Natalie is getting a reading...the cake is delicious.

Today I called the party planner who produced the party and sent her some info on Kris. I want Kris to be "the" clairvoyant to the stars! I want her to be at these parties. I've said it before, and its no joke, I want to be a kept man, and live in the manner to which I want to be accustomed. I know Kris wants that too, so its all good.

By the end of the night, after ten hours of going up and down those stairs, I was exhausted. I didn't get home till after 3am, and didn't get enough sleep. I was so excited - it was Super Bowl Sunday!

That is another story for another day.

Who is you favorite celebrity?

Feb.1, 2008 - The Month In Review

Hello Reader,

I am starting a new feature here on It's Okay called The Month In Review. On the first of every month I will write about the highlights of the previous month. Its a way to keep friends near and far current on what I'm doing.

I used to send an email out to a select group of people called Noel's News that did the same thing, but really, who wants to have someone else's life forced on them every month?

So my idea now is to write it here for everyone to read if they want. I will still send a link to the email list, for awhile at least, but this way if they don't want to read it, they don't have to come here and read it. Easy, peazy, not too sleazy!

So, January 2008 was a really fantastic month. I had a fun job working at an art gallery in Santa Monica.

Next, I found out the photo I shot for Playboy back in August of last year was finally in print, in the February issue of Playboy. You can see the photo HERE. If you read Playboy, its on page 20. No, I'm not the blond. Truth is you can hardly tell its me, but it was still fun to do, and how many men can say they were in Playboy!

I had many many commercial auditions and booked my first national commercial. It was for Civilization:Revolution, an interactive video game. Their new website will have three very funny commercials featuring characters from history. I play Abe Lincoln in two of them. Honest, I do. After the website launches they will cut thirty second spots that will air on TV. Our photos will also be used on the box art for the game. Very fun.

We had our first Bikini Movie Review party and had a blast hanging out with everyone who made it. The party was a thank you to everyone who has helped us create the site and a kick off for the growth we see for 2008.
Our friend, Steve Gibons was here from Chicago. Steve writes most of the music for Bikini Movie Review and it was great he was here to celebrate with us.

In addition to all that, I worked as a cater waiter most weekends. I also had two verbal altercations/fights with strangers and co-workers - in one night! That was strangely fun. A great release.

So here we are already in February. Kris (my wife, the supremely talented Kris Cahill)has proclaimed February the month of high havingness. What that means is we are going to allow the energy of havingness into our lives. We are going to "have" a lot. Not by worrying, or being in survival, but by letting it come to us. Alright, sounds good to me.

I hope you had a great January too. I hope you had a lot of fun and exciting work and a lot of good times. And I hope February will bring you much havingness also.

I'll write more in my daily posts, but this wraps up the first Month In Review.

Enjoy the photos!

Peace.

Playboy Photo

Oh BTW, I am in the February issue of Playboy magazine, page 20, but I caution you don't go out and buy it just for me. I'm only in one photo, and if you don't know me you wouldn't know it was me. In fact, here is the photo I am in, and if you want to read more about Chicago divorce attorney Corrie Fetman, click HERE to go to the Playboy website and read her column. Warning, it is the Playboy website.

Funny story: Last Friday I discovered that the photo was in the February issue and I went out to buy one on my way to an audition. After the audition, I was a few blocks from the office of a casting director I know, who I took a workshop with last year. His name is Dean Fronk of Pemrick/Fronk Casting. He always said to stay in touch, and stop by and see him when we are in the neighborhood. So I did.

I take the elevator to the Penthouse Suite, go to the reception desk, where there were not one, but two receptionists. This was a nice high-end casting office. Not like the dinky offices and photo studios I am used to. Ooh, nice.

To my surprise, I see a copy of Playboy on the desk next to the male receptionist. (Playboy in the Penthouse?) How strange, I thought. I haven't seen a copy of Playboy sitting out, other than at a traditional men's barbershop, in thirty years. And now, the one time I am in Playboy, here it is. So when the young male receptionist gets off the phone, and I am waiting to see Dean, I point to the Playboy and say, "I'm on page 20". It takes him a second to process what I mean, then he takes the magazine and turns to page 20 and says, "Hey, there you are!", just as Dean walks out to say hello. Very nicely timed, I must say. Dean was on his way out and so invited me to ride the elevator down with him. We chat, I tell him an audition horror story from last week, and he says good bye and invites me to stay in touch. Truely one of the nicest CD's I've met in LA.




Yeah, that's me, sitting and talking to Corrie. No, I'm not a divorcing business man, I just play one in Playboy! And no, I wasn't there for Corrie's nude shots.

7 Days A Weak!

I'm glad today is a bank holiday. I don't feel guilty for not getting up and going to work. In fact, I'm still tired from working seven days last week. For a guy who only has a part-time job, (or three of them) I sure work a lot.

Last week was crazy, and I loved every minute of it.

I was taking a day off last Monday when I get a text message from my agent to hurry up and go to an audition in North Hollywood, in the valley. I was just about to go to the club, but instead detoured my schedule, found the sides (script) for the audition online, and raced over to N. Hollywood, learning the text while driving on the 101.

Tuesday I had one audition. I also learned I was called back for the creature-feature movie I mentioned a few posts ago. A call back, for those who don't know, means they saw a lot of actors for the project, and they whittled it down to a few choices for each role. In this case, the casting director said. "...we received 2500 photo submissions, of those we called in 120 actors to read, and of those we are calling back 21".

Already when an actor hears those numbers, it is really validating to have made the short list. Yeah!

So now I have until Saturday to prepare for the call back. Meanwhile, everyday I get more and more audition calls for the week.

I go to two on Wednesday, as well as a head shot session with a photographer. I need new head shots. I recently changed my hair style and need new head shots to reflect that.

On Thursday I have three commercial auditions, and I spent all day driving from downtown to Santa Monica to Hollywood and back to Santa Monica and then back downtown. About 75 miles all day.

I'm feeling like a working actor, even though all this driving around and auditioning is costing me a lot of money and I'm not getting paid. Each audition is like a job interview. I interview for a new job about 100 - 150 times a year. I get very few jobs, right now, but it is the most fun game in the world.

By Friday night, after eight auditions all week, I really have to concentrate on the call back. I have my wardrobe picked, I get my props set up, and I rehearse my lines for any of the ten scenes I may or may not read.

The call back was a lot of fun, and the 21 of us there are all excited and very friendly, even those competing for the same role. I look around the room of twenty-somethings, as six of the seven roles are for that age group, and I see only one other guy there for the same role as me. I recognize him from other auditions. We both have salt and pepper hair, both around the same age and height. 50/50 odds, I like that. He doesn't acknowledge me as he walks by.

My goal going into the audition was to psyche out the competition. I was really decked out like I imagined the character to be and wanted to instill doubt and fear into the competition. I think it worked. Lord knows it has worked on me in the past, only this time, I'm taking charge.

They call actors in by groups to see how they look and work together. For my role, they call the other actor in first, and he reads a few times, in a few configurations, and then I read in a few configurations. Then he reads another scene, and then he is sent home. I'm the last man standing, or maybe not?

The thing about casting, and I have been on both sides now, is you never really know what is going on and what they are thinking. I try not to think about it. I get called in a couple more times, and then I wait.

One wrinkle in the plan is I am scheduled for a party (my day job) on Saturday night and I am going to be late.

I try not to think about this either. I arranged to be late with a very nice and understanding party manager, but the longer I wait in the hallway, not being called in, the more distracting it is.

Finally, after waiting about 45 minutes, I am told I can leave. Only the twenty-somethings are left. Have they made up their minds about my character? Was I the last man standing, or was someone else being considered who wasn't there yet or didn't even need to show up? See how actors can overthink things and try to figure out the unfigureoutable?

Everything works out as planned, I get to the party late, but not so late that it messes anyone up.

During the party I get an email (on my new pretentious iPhone) from the casting director. It is to everyone thanking us for coming out and saying we all deserved to be there. Decisions will be made on Tuesday. Have a nice week-end. Agh! I have to wait three days? That is like an eternity to an actor waiting to hear something. Okay, just focus on work and watching the playoffs tomorrow.

The party goes very late and I don't get home until two AM and my next party is a luncheon Sunday morning and I have to be in Santa Monica at 8:30AM. So with little sleep, and very tired, I get up at 7, leave at 7:45 and am in Santa Monica at 8:15, sitting in front of the house, watching early morning walkers, joggers and bicyclists move up and down the curving street over looking the hills and valleys of the Santa Monica mountain range, Pacific Pallisades neighborhood, and the ocean. Not a bad way to start the day.

The party goes fine and I am home, tired and a bit beat, at around 6PM. I just want to crash on the couch and watch the last quarter of the GB/NYG game. I'm so sorry Green Bay doesn't win. NE/GB would have been an awesome Superbowl. Okay, just my opinion. I still want to watch it and see New England go all the way to an undefeated season and a Superbowl victory. That will be one for the records!

So anyway, you see why I'm tired today?

What a week. And as I sit and wait for the news tomorrow, and as I write this, I just got an email from my agent that I have an audition tomorrow. So it goes. I'm a working actor in Hollywood. And life is good.

I'll let you know what happens with the movie tomorrow, or as soon as I hear.

Noel

PS - see why I don't write everyday? I go on and on and on. It takes too long. Maybe someday I will write a book. It's one of my goals.