Okay, most of the time, I like to be serious as a heart attack. But, on occasion, I have been known to be a pretty funny guy. I think my observations about life, sometimes wry and sarcastic, can be pretty amusing. I'm not a stand-up, but I like to make up jokes and I can get out a few good one-liners. Usually when I'm not trying.
So it was with great surprise, even to myself, when I actually wrote a joke. It was about 12 years ago, and since it is the only "joke" I think I have ever wrote, I have always remembered it. You might say it is really a pun, but here it is:
Q: Why did the monkey go to the Crow Bar?
A: He was looking for a pry mate (primate)
Get it?
Saturday, March 25, 2006
Friday, March 10, 2006
My Dinner with Steven
Steven Soderbergh, Michael Apted, Taylor Hackford, Cameron Crowe, Haskell Wexler, Paris Barclay; these are just some of the people I had dinner with last night.
As a director, new to Hollywood, I found myself in pretty good company. Okay, I’m not that new, I have been here almost a week.
Okay, I didn’t sit at the same table as all those distinguished directors, but I was in the same room. Last night was the monthly Western Directors Council Meeting of the Directors Guild of America. I am a proud member of that distinguished guild, and so I may attend council meetings and observe, but not participate. I am invited to join the council for dinner before hand and listen to the proceedings of the night, until the privacy, council members only portion of the evening.
Michael Apted, Chairman of the council, ran the meeting. I can’t go into detail on the agenda, but most were not dealing with highly creative issues, but technical issues such as waivers to guild rules by individuals and studios. There was one interesting section about reality television and the lack of opportunity for guild members in that field.
I found it fascinating and exciting to be there. I hope to attend these monthly meetings in the future, not just for the free dinner, but also for the opportunity to meet and work with the council in the future.
Oh, yeah, I had just come from apartment hunting with Circus, who got into town earlier in the day, and we found an apartment. Today we put in the application. Hopefully we get accepted and move in early next week.
As a director, new to Hollywood, I found myself in pretty good company. Okay, I’m not that new, I have been here almost a week.
Okay, I didn’t sit at the same table as all those distinguished directors, but I was in the same room. Last night was the monthly Western Directors Council Meeting of the Directors Guild of America. I am a proud member of that distinguished guild, and so I may attend council meetings and observe, but not participate. I am invited to join the council for dinner before hand and listen to the proceedings of the night, until the privacy, council members only portion of the evening.
Michael Apted, Chairman of the council, ran the meeting. I can’t go into detail on the agenda, but most were not dealing with highly creative issues, but technical issues such as waivers to guild rules by individuals and studios. There was one interesting section about reality television and the lack of opportunity for guild members in that field.
I found it fascinating and exciting to be there. I hope to attend these monthly meetings in the future, not just for the free dinner, but also for the opportunity to meet and work with the council in the future.
Oh, yeah, I had just come from apartment hunting with Circus, who got into town earlier in the day, and we found an apartment. Today we put in the application. Hopefully we get accepted and move in early next week.
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
Searching for an apartment
Atwater, Studio City, Los Angeles, Burbank, Korea Town, Larchmont, Glendale, Valley Village, Glassell Park, Pico, and of course, Hollywood. These are just some of the neighborhoods I have visited, driven through, or looked at apartments in; 14 in the last three days.
Let me back up a bit. I arrived in Los Angeles on Saturday afternoon. It was a beautiful drive from Phoenix; desert into mountains into the snow capped peaks outside LA. I love driving through the southwest.
I made a quick stop in Redlands, about 60 miles east of LA, to see my old friend Roberto. Roberto has been in California about 7 years. He got married, has a 4 year old son, and now has a critically acclaimed restaurant in Redlands called Farm. It was so nice to get a chance to say hello, have a sandwich, and catch up a little. Soon I got back on the road for the final 60 miles. I arrived in Burbank at Betty and Mike’s about 4:30. It was still warm enough for Betty and I to sit on the front porch, in the sun, and have a beer.
Sunday was the Oscars telecast. Betty and Mike invited me to their friends Reed and Marny’s house for an Oscar Party. They live in Hollywood, about a mile from the Kodak Theatre. It is the closest to the Oscars I have been, so far. I say so far because I will definitely attend an Academy Awards ceremony one day as a nominee. I’m getting closer all the time.
There were several connections to the Oscars there in that room. Reed had a role in Good Night and Good Luck, so we were all hoping that it would win an award. I was one of the many crewmembers Robert Altman thanked while accepting his lifetime achievement award. Yeah!
Monday morning I hit the ground running. I did a lot of driving around different neighborhoods I thought I wanted to live in. I made a lot of calls, but mostly I left a lot of messages. Some people returned, many didn’t.
It took a lot of time, and while I did get to see three apartments, I decided to join a rental service and get more leads. Westside Rentals is the most popular, and at 70 dollars for two months of listings, it’s not unreasonable. Soon I had thousands of listings to narrow down into usable choices.
Tuesday I saw about 7 or 8 apartments, I can’t keep them straight in my mind. I did lots of driving back and forth across the hills into the valley, out of the valley and back again.
The good thing is I am getting a crash course in Los Angeles geography and streets. I am really getting to know it and be more comfortable with it each day. But after seeing so many places, I was exhausted, and nothing I saw was any good.
The housing stock in LA is very different than in Chicago, where we have, I think, a much finer rental pool to choose from. Many of the places I saw in my price range, $1200 a month, (for a 2 bed/2 bath) were boxy and ugly, like the 4 plus ones you see on Sheridan Rd. in Rodgers Park. No style, no details, and mostly small and dirty. For $1200 a month in Chicago you could get a pretty nice place in a nice neighborhood, not here.
Today, Wednesday, I had more luck. I upped the price range and started seeing slightly better prospects. I saw some places I really liked. I decided to stop looking in the Valley. I want a real LA urban experience right now, and I want to be closer to all the action. Besides, if I live in the Valley I’ll end up working in Santa Monica, and if I live in Santa Monica, I’ll end up working across town in the Valley. In Hollywood, I’m right in the middle.
I think I found a couple of good ones that I will show Circus on Friday morning. Maybe we can just get one and move this weekend. That would be ideal.
It’s so wonderful that I have such a nice place to stay with Betty and Mike; they are so welcoming and accommodating, but I have to get started on my new life here, and the first step is having a place of my own.
I haven’t even been here 5 days yet, and yet it feels like I’ve been here a lot longer. There are many people I miss back in Chicago, one especially, and that is very difficult, but there is so much going on to keep me busy that the days pass quickly.
I must practice patience.
Let me back up a bit. I arrived in Los Angeles on Saturday afternoon. It was a beautiful drive from Phoenix; desert into mountains into the snow capped peaks outside LA. I love driving through the southwest.
I made a quick stop in Redlands, about 60 miles east of LA, to see my old friend Roberto. Roberto has been in California about 7 years. He got married, has a 4 year old son, and now has a critically acclaimed restaurant in Redlands called Farm. It was so nice to get a chance to say hello, have a sandwich, and catch up a little. Soon I got back on the road for the final 60 miles. I arrived in Burbank at Betty and Mike’s about 4:30. It was still warm enough for Betty and I to sit on the front porch, in the sun, and have a beer.
Sunday was the Oscars telecast. Betty and Mike invited me to their friends Reed and Marny’s house for an Oscar Party. They live in Hollywood, about a mile from the Kodak Theatre. It is the closest to the Oscars I have been, so far. I say so far because I will definitely attend an Academy Awards ceremony one day as a nominee. I’m getting closer all the time.
There were several connections to the Oscars there in that room. Reed had a role in Good Night and Good Luck, so we were all hoping that it would win an award. I was one of the many crewmembers Robert Altman thanked while accepting his lifetime achievement award. Yeah!
Monday morning I hit the ground running. I did a lot of driving around different neighborhoods I thought I wanted to live in. I made a lot of calls, but mostly I left a lot of messages. Some people returned, many didn’t.
It took a lot of time, and while I did get to see three apartments, I decided to join a rental service and get more leads. Westside Rentals is the most popular, and at 70 dollars for two months of listings, it’s not unreasonable. Soon I had thousands of listings to narrow down into usable choices.
Tuesday I saw about 7 or 8 apartments, I can’t keep them straight in my mind. I did lots of driving back and forth across the hills into the valley, out of the valley and back again.
The good thing is I am getting a crash course in Los Angeles geography and streets. I am really getting to know it and be more comfortable with it each day. But after seeing so many places, I was exhausted, and nothing I saw was any good.
The housing stock in LA is very different than in Chicago, where we have, I think, a much finer rental pool to choose from. Many of the places I saw in my price range, $1200 a month, (for a 2 bed/2 bath) were boxy and ugly, like the 4 plus ones you see on Sheridan Rd. in Rodgers Park. No style, no details, and mostly small and dirty. For $1200 a month in Chicago you could get a pretty nice place in a nice neighborhood, not here.
Today, Wednesday, I had more luck. I upped the price range and started seeing slightly better prospects. I saw some places I really liked. I decided to stop looking in the Valley. I want a real LA urban experience right now, and I want to be closer to all the action. Besides, if I live in the Valley I’ll end up working in Santa Monica, and if I live in Santa Monica, I’ll end up working across town in the Valley. In Hollywood, I’m right in the middle.
I think I found a couple of good ones that I will show Circus on Friday morning. Maybe we can just get one and move this weekend. That would be ideal.
It’s so wonderful that I have such a nice place to stay with Betty and Mike; they are so welcoming and accommodating, but I have to get started on my new life here, and the first step is having a place of my own.
I haven’t even been here 5 days yet, and yet it feels like I’ve been here a lot longer. There are many people I miss back in Chicago, one especially, and that is very difficult, but there is so much going on to keep me busy that the days pass quickly.
I must practice patience.
Friday, March 03, 2006
On The Road
Days 1 & 2 of my driving trip to LA:
I don’t really feel like I am anywhere. I’m in New Mexico, yes, but I am traveling at 70 miles an hour. I watch the country pass by, but I’m still in my car! It’s a strangely cool sensation.
Day one went great. I packed from 5:30 am till 2:00pm. But it’s okay, I kept telling myself, because noon is the new 7am!
I tried to pack way too much stuff into my Jeep, so I ended up stopping at Fed Ex and shipping 7 big boxes to myself. I really tried to have all this done before the last minute, but I worked until 7:30 PM the night before I left!
I finally got on the road about 3PM. I just put on some tunes and wanted to put as much distance between Chicago and myself as I could the first night. No turning back now.
I made it as far as Rolla, MO, 400 miles, which is pretty close to where I wanted to be.
Day 2:
Waking up at 6, I was out the motel door by 6:30. Man I couldn’t get out of there quick enough.
Went next door to a place called the Waffle House. You’d think with a name like that, they could make a decent waffle? Uh-uh, not to be. And the grits, swimming in butter? I don’t think so.
Yesterday I drove through MO, OK, and TX, 758 miles to Tucumcari, NM. I like driving so it was easy. I listened to local radio part of the morning, and my playlist for yesterday included Jim White, Johnny Cash, Moby, Buckethead, Joni Mitchell, and some classical music.
If I wasn’t in such a hurry to get to California, I might have stopped along the way at some of the fine monuments along the way. Instead I passed up some fine roadside attractions. I missed Cadillac Ranch in Amarillo, I missed the worlds largest collection of precious moment statues, and the worlds biggest knife collection.
I really did want to stop in Oklahoma City and see the memorial to the Oklahoma City bombing, and the new federal building, but I didn’t. Another time.
I drove for 12 hours, and I was dreaming of a Margarita, chips and salsa, and a hot plate of Mexican food when I arrived. I got into Mountain time in NM, so I gained an hour when I arrived. I checked out the restaurant/bar at the motel and decided to drive through town instead. Well, on the whole 5 mile strip of old Rt. 66 that is Tucumcari, there was only one Mexican restaurant, and there were no cars in the parking lot at all, so I gave it a pass. There were only a couple of local chain restaurants, a Dean’s, and a Del’s, and they didn’t look too good to me either. So many motels; so few food options. Am I spoiled or what?
A disappointing Margarita and some mediocre appetizers back at the motel bar. They were out of chips! This is the southwest, how can you be out of chips? I wanted to ask the bartender. But she was too busy chewing loudly on her dinner at the end of the bar to hear me. “Just a sec”, she said to a new customer at the bar, holding up a finger and shoveling another forkful of food in her mouth. “I’wl be wight wit chew” she said with her mouth full.
Leaving Tucumcari in a few minutes. I’ll be in Phoenix tonight, 650 miles from here.
They have good Mexican restaurants in Phoenix.
Does anyone really care about this?
I don’t really feel like I am anywhere. I’m in New Mexico, yes, but I am traveling at 70 miles an hour. I watch the country pass by, but I’m still in my car! It’s a strangely cool sensation.
Day one went great. I packed from 5:30 am till 2:00pm. But it’s okay, I kept telling myself, because noon is the new 7am!
I tried to pack way too much stuff into my Jeep, so I ended up stopping at Fed Ex and shipping 7 big boxes to myself. I really tried to have all this done before the last minute, but I worked until 7:30 PM the night before I left!
I finally got on the road about 3PM. I just put on some tunes and wanted to put as much distance between Chicago and myself as I could the first night. No turning back now.
I made it as far as Rolla, MO, 400 miles, which is pretty close to where I wanted to be.
Day 2:
Waking up at 6, I was out the motel door by 6:30. Man I couldn’t get out of there quick enough.
Went next door to a place called the Waffle House. You’d think with a name like that, they could make a decent waffle? Uh-uh, not to be. And the grits, swimming in butter? I don’t think so.
Yesterday I drove through MO, OK, and TX, 758 miles to Tucumcari, NM. I like driving so it was easy. I listened to local radio part of the morning, and my playlist for yesterday included Jim White, Johnny Cash, Moby, Buckethead, Joni Mitchell, and some classical music.
If I wasn’t in such a hurry to get to California, I might have stopped along the way at some of the fine monuments along the way. Instead I passed up some fine roadside attractions. I missed Cadillac Ranch in Amarillo, I missed the worlds largest collection of precious moment statues, and the worlds biggest knife collection.
I really did want to stop in Oklahoma City and see the memorial to the Oklahoma City bombing, and the new federal building, but I didn’t. Another time.
I drove for 12 hours, and I was dreaming of a Margarita, chips and salsa, and a hot plate of Mexican food when I arrived. I got into Mountain time in NM, so I gained an hour when I arrived. I checked out the restaurant/bar at the motel and decided to drive through town instead. Well, on the whole 5 mile strip of old Rt. 66 that is Tucumcari, there was only one Mexican restaurant, and there were no cars in the parking lot at all, so I gave it a pass. There were only a couple of local chain restaurants, a Dean’s, and a Del’s, and they didn’t look too good to me either. So many motels; so few food options. Am I spoiled or what?
A disappointing Margarita and some mediocre appetizers back at the motel bar. They were out of chips! This is the southwest, how can you be out of chips? I wanted to ask the bartender. But she was too busy chewing loudly on her dinner at the end of the bar to hear me. “Just a sec”, she said to a new customer at the bar, holding up a finger and shoveling another forkful of food in her mouth. “I’wl be wight wit chew” she said with her mouth full.
Leaving Tucumcari in a few minutes. I’ll be in Phoenix tonight, 650 miles from here.
They have good Mexican restaurants in Phoenix.
Does anyone really care about this?
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
3.1.06
One small step; that is all that separates me from here, to on my way to there.
Today is the day. If I had more time to prepare, I still wouldn’t be ready. I just have to go.
I’m taking a little more with me than a stick with a bandana tied to the end, but I couldn’t get my computer in a bandana. I always thought my Jeep was pretty big, until I started to pack it.
It’s hard not to think of oneself as the center of the universe, and really, that’s not a bad thing. It’s not as if my life, my trip, and my adventure is that important in the grand scheme of things, but it sure is to me.
Silly interpretive dance # 426: I’m on the jungle gym, the bars you crossed in the playground by grabbing on to the bar in front and swinging to the next bar, hanging a few inches above the ground. Only I’m not a few inches above the ground. These bars cross over a huge canyon. There is nothing below me for miles. I look down into the void, I look up into the sky, and I’m hanging here. I’m afraid. I let go of one hand. I look around again. I could scream, but no one would hear me. I smile. I let go. I fall, but I don’t keep falling. I am suddenly flying, flying over and out of the canyon. I am soaring. That is how I see my heroic journey going.
I’m going to write about my journey here, because I can. Read it if you want. Or go write your own story. It’s up to you.
Peace.
Today is the day. If I had more time to prepare, I still wouldn’t be ready. I just have to go.
I’m taking a little more with me than a stick with a bandana tied to the end, but I couldn’t get my computer in a bandana. I always thought my Jeep was pretty big, until I started to pack it.
It’s hard not to think of oneself as the center of the universe, and really, that’s not a bad thing. It’s not as if my life, my trip, and my adventure is that important in the grand scheme of things, but it sure is to me.
Silly interpretive dance # 426: I’m on the jungle gym, the bars you crossed in the playground by grabbing on to the bar in front and swinging to the next bar, hanging a few inches above the ground. Only I’m not a few inches above the ground. These bars cross over a huge canyon. There is nothing below me for miles. I look down into the void, I look up into the sky, and I’m hanging here. I’m afraid. I let go of one hand. I look around again. I could scream, but no one would hear me. I smile. I let go. I fall, but I don’t keep falling. I am suddenly flying, flying over and out of the canyon. I am soaring. That is how I see my heroic journey going.
I’m going to write about my journey here, because I can. Read it if you want. Or go write your own story. It’s up to you.
Peace.
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