30 day workout program - begin!

Day 1: April 14, 2008

Last year I participated in a 12 week workout program and I was very impressed by how much weight I lost and how my body changed in such a short time. 12 weeks is a short time, when compared to how long I spent talking about doing something about my weight.

As I wrote last year, and discussed at great length in previous posts, in twelve weeks I lost 20 pounds and 15 1/2 inches overall and was feeling great. However, when the program ended, when I no longer was obliged to attend regular workouts under the watchful gaze of a coach, I stopped working out regularly.

Sure I worked out, but no longer 3 to 6 times a week like I did during the program. If a week went by and I didn't go to the club, I'd chalk it off to being really busy. If a month went by, I would tell myself it was okay because I stretched a few times at home.

The result was that since the program ended 10 months ago, and I gave my testimonial and took my beautiful "after" pictures, I put back on seven pounds. That is almost a pound a month. You do the math and figure out where I would be in two years, or five years. No, can't have that again. The yo-yo effect is a very real phenomenon that people who struggle with their weight have to deal with. I have dealt with it all my life. I have a small frame, but if I am not careful, I can pack on the pounds really quickly.

Fortunately the size 31 pants I bought still fit, and the seven pounds don't show a lot, but I knew I had to do something.

The key to success in making changes in your life like weight loss or working out are commitment and accountability. It has to be to yourself, first and foremost, but getting others involved can be very helpful.

For example: Last week I worked out two days in a row, and I felt good, so I decided to extend that and see if I couldn't make a big change again in my toning. I decided that I would workout thirty days in a row, just for the hell of it, to see what happens. Would I lose weight? Would I tone my abs again? It was worth a try, as no matter what happened I had nothing to lose and everything to gain. (Or seven pounds to lose and abs to gain).

Then I was talking to a friend of mine, and it hit me, what if I suggest he do the same thing; that he join me in a thirty day workout? That way we could feel a sense of community and responsibility to ourselves and each other. Communities and groups tend to create a strong motivation that gives a person the courage and the strength to do things that they may not succeed at on their own. It doesn't matter that he lives in Chicago and I live in Los Angeles, we could chart our progress and encourage each other.

I know when I was a teenager I felt that at the Weight Watcher meetings I attended. When the leader announced how much weight each member lost to the group, and you got applause for it, it was a strong and positive affirmation. And last year, I felt that in the group program. A feeling of competition, encouragement and connection.

If I said I was going to workout for thirty days, and I told no one, who would call me on it if I missed a day? No one. If a man is alone in the woods and doesn't do his push-ups, does it still add calories? That makes no sense, but I knew if I had to report to someone that I had done my workout I would be more motivated.

So every Monday for the next five week I will report to you, dear reader, my progress of working out everyday for 30 days. Specifically, no matter what else I do; run, swim, weight training, etc, I have to do 200 ab crunches and 50 push-ups a day for the next 30 days. As the days go on, if I decide to increase the numbers I can, that is just a minimum.

You are my motivation. Its a win-win situation.

So, if this makes you think that maybe you too would like to shed a few pounds before summer, and help your self get back in shape, then why don't you call a friend, make a commitment, and just get started. What have you got to lose?

Oh, by the way, since I completed the program last year I have retained most of the gains I made in muscle mass and at almost 49 years old, I can honestly say I have never been in better shape in my life. I remember I once tried out for the football team in high school and at the first workout I couldn't do one push-up. Some girls laughed at me. Now I can do a set of twenty no problem.

Here in Los Angeles, trying to make it as an actor means I have to do everything I can to make myself standout over thousands of other actors all going for the same job. Confidence is important, and so is backing it up with a certain look. I want to be the strong 50 year old who could have been a strong twenty year old. No one has to know I was ever fat, or weak, or carried an extra 70 pounds on me. No, I can be the tough old guy, which is a role I prefer over aging paunchy fat guy.

And the camera adds weight anyway, so being a little overweight really shows on camera, as opposed to being really toned and buff.

Vain? Maybe a little, but I have a career at stake here. I am a performer, and as such, I have to make myself look good. No, better than good. Great.

What are you going to do today?

30 days to go; a lifetime of fun begins.

At my weekly weigh in today, I was down another pound from last week, for a total of ten pounds in 8 weeks, and another 1/2 inch off my waist, for a total of 4 1/2 inches. I feel pretty good about that.

With 4 weeks left to go in the Burn and Firm program, I am very close to achieving the
goals I set at the start. But the main thing I am getting out of this experience, besides the weight loss and the all around boost of confidence, is that I have replaced the eating and exercise habits that weren't working, with new healthy habits that do work. It took 12 years to put on about 40 pounds, so I don't expect to lose everything in 12 weeks, but it is a good start. I will post before and after pictures at the end of the program.

So, now I look forward to a lifetime of healthy eating, exercise, and looking good on the beach. Hey, I live in California!

If I can do it, anyone can do it. Just get out there and kick some abs!

I'm so vain.

Good morning. I'm fine, thank you, how are you?

Today I would like to talk about vanity. Not vanity in general, but my own. I am vain, I admit it. I check out my reflection in shop windows when I walk down the street. I can't pass a mirror without at least slowing down to see how I look, and I have been working hard lately to get myself back in shape.

As an actor, how I look directly affects how often I might work. My body is my tool, the canvas on which I sculpt a character, and so I have to be very aware of it, in control of it. I have to be very comfortable in it, and I haven't been as comfortable these past few years as I would like to be. Also, as an American brought up in the 20th century, I have issues with my body like everyone else.

You see I was very overweight as a child, and I still have not fully gotten over that experience. I have been struggling with weight issues since I was 7 years old. And let me tell you, being an overweight child is no fun. I was harassed by my family, I was harassed by other children, and even a few teachers got their jabs in too. Fat people are targets, easy targets, for an insecure nation. At my heaviest I weighed in at about 220 pounds. That was when I was 15. There are very few photos of me back then. I tried every diet known back then, from Dr. Atkins Diet Revolution (which became so popular again twenty years later in the carb-conscious-nineties) to Weight Watchers. What could be more fun for a 12 year old on a Saturday morning than to go sit in a room with a bunch of overweight middle-age ladies and hear a motivational pep talk at Weight Watchers? Then be applauded at the scale for losing weight the previous week? Go ahead, make my week! They all worked for awhile, but I was a yo-yo, up and down, up and down.

When I was fifteen, I was taken to see Dr. Happy, who prescribed "diet pills", (narcotic amphetimines), to help me lose weight and stop looking like a blimp. They worked for my Aunt Madeleine, and they worked very well for me too. Dare I say extremely well. Maybe even too well. I lost a lot of weight, but had a lot of sleepless nights, and continue to grind my teeth even now, thirty years later.

Like all fat teenagers, there was no more hated time than the dreaded GYM class. Being made fun of in the locker room or the shower was enough to make me cut gym and or cut school altogether. (Do kids still say "cut" class? I hope so.) I couldn't run, I couldn't play basketball, there wasn't a single sport I was good at, except binge eating. In that I excelled. Until I met Dr. Happy. Dr. Happy changed all that with his magic pills and his advice at my bi-weekly weigh-in. I remember the Dr. actually smoked during my visit, as he looked at my chart, made a few notes, and asked me how I was feeling. I was hip to the game after awhile, so I told him the pills were no longer working as well, I needed more, and asked him to up the dose, which he usually did. Ah, Preludin, you were my best friend in high school. Did you see Aronofsky's Requiem For A Dream? Remember when Ellen Burstyn visits the diet doctor, gets the speed pills, and eventually gets really paranoid and goes crazy? That was me. Good times.

But I digress. I started talking about vanity and got sidetracked by my history of being overweight. It is important though, because even though I eventually shed most of the weight and was to most casual observers, thin, the effect on my body image has never really healed. Even though at long last I was within the norms of the Insurance Industry's height/weight charts for my height/weight, I still thought of myself as fat. That must be pretty common, like phantom limb syndrome, phantom fat syndrom.

The world looked at me and saw a thin person, but I didn't. I'll never forget the thrill I felt as I was being arrested in New Orleans one time and the booking officer called me Slim, as in "Hey Slim, let's see a profile". Was he talking to me? I was in heaven! I was really at the central police station, but it was heaven to me.

Shedding a fat body image is a difficult thing to do, but I think I am finally close to accepting myself as the newly thin person I am. Which leads me back to vanity.

So, I was thin for many years, and I felt good. I traveled around the world, I was athletic, I worked out, I had many girl friends, I went back into theatre, studied mime and physical theatre in Paris, and oh, did I mention I had many girl friends? For a fat kid who had a hard time talking to girls, that was huge.

Eventually I moved back to Chicago, where I met Kris and we married. I was an actor at first, but about ten years ago I quit acting and got into the film business. Working on movies is a passion for me, but with it came the crazy hours, the easy access to crappy food and snacks, and the unhealthy lifestyle that saw me care less about my body to get the job done. I went from my adult low weight of 155 up to 195 in about five years. I was embarrassed, but had no time or will power to change it. I am lucky, I guess, in that I can carry some extra weight and conceal it rather well. The men in my family all have big guts, except for my brother Steve, which is where most of my weight stuck, but it spread out pretty evenly so with a jacket and good fitting clothes I didn't look "fat".

In addition to gaining weight, or because of it, I wasn't happy with my job, I needed a change. The extra weight brought stress and the stress brought extra weight. The cycle was repeating.

Then about three years ago I got back into acting, did less film production work, and started to make decisions that were better for me. I started to listen to that little voice that tells you what you really want, what you should really do with your life. Getting back on stage again made me happy and that motivated me to lose weight. I was being seen again.

A year ago Kris and I made a huge lifestyle change; we moved to Los Angeles where I dedicate myself to acting. Los Angeles is very body conscious, in case you didn't know that. And Hollywood is quick to typecast or bodycast actors.

By the time I moved to LA last year I was down to about 180, but still carried a bit of a spare tire around the middle. Now there is nothing wrong with that, unless you don't want to carry a spare tire around the middle. It's not the healthiest way to be, and it wasn't how I wanted to look. I wanted to be thin. I wanted nice clean lines again. I wanted to be a thin person on television, not the middle-age guy with a spare tire on television.

I'm so vain, I guess I think this blog is about me, don't I, don't I?

Two months ago I saw an audition notice for a workout video. The offer was this; 8 weeks of free personal training in exchange for a committment to going a certain number of times per week and allowing before/after pictures and a testimonial. I applied for and was accepted into Ashley Marriott's Burn & Firm Training program. The duration of the program was extended to 12 weeks, and week 4 just ended.

This is the best thing I've done in a long time. It is really working out well for me. I knew I needed to work out, and I wanted to lose another 10-15 pounds, but I lacked the self-motivation to do it. I knew if I was accepted into this program and made the committment, I would follow through. I needed an external push, kind of like diet pills, only healthier. Much healthier. Ashley is wonderful; she's motivating, encouraging, is a great trainer with great information, and is helping to replace old unhealthy patterns with new healthy ones in all of us. I see the difference in my self and all the other people in the program. And, it doesn't require a class three narcotic prescription from a doctor!

Ashley's Burn & Firm program is a combination of dance steps and aerobic exercises that strengthen, tone and build endurance. The cardio work is burning fat and the strengthening work is building muscle. After the first four weeks I look better, I feel better, and I sleep better. I started the program at 171 pounds, and am now at 167. I went from a 36 1/2 waist to a 34, and also went down at my chest, thighs and hips. See, I told you I was vain. And with 8 more weeks to go, I am confident I will hit my target weight of 160, with a 32 inch waist. Then when I walk down the street and check myself out in store windows, I'll really like what I see.

Getting in shape is really getting in touch with your body and spirit. I am getting back in my body, getting comfortable in my body. For an actor, that is really important. Remember I said this is my tool, this is what I have to work with. I can't work as effectively if I am thinking about how to hide my weight, or how this costume makes me look fat. (Does this fat-suit make me look fat?) I have to take that out of the mix. There is enough to think about as it is while acting. The choices I make with my body and voice in real time are difficult enough without the insecurity of not being comfortable with my body.

So yes, I am vain, I am an actor. And I am a better actor now that my mind/spirit is more connected, more comfortable in my body, my spaceship, I travel through this life in.

I will post the embarrassing before and the powerfully motivating after pictures in approximately 8 weeks when the Burn and Firm program ends. Until then, I hope you all feel great in your spaceships and have a great time travelling through your life here on planet Earth.