It's Okay

No Boundarys A Noel Olken Show 9/11/11

2011-08-22T18:50:00.001-07:00

Hi Everyone, I am starting another post with an apology for not posting since March. Seems like there is always so much going on and stopping to write about it doesn't happen.

But there is something going on now I do want to tell you about. I am doing my first stage show in a long time. It is called No Boundarys A Noel Olken Show 9/11/11. It is going to happen on 9/11/11, as the title suggests. I know you must be thinking it has something to do with 9/11. Well, yes and no.

I created a Kickstarter project to raise money to produce the play. This is what the project looks like on Kickstarter. You can get to the Kickstarter project page and watch the pledge video here: http://kck.st/nG7C1m

Here is what it says...

"Actually it's about life, death, and camping. Mostly life, some death, and a lot of camping.

It has a lot of strange twists and turns and will surprise you with an unexpected ending.

While preparing for a canoe trip to the Boundary Waters of northern Minnesota, Noel Olken discovers some strange things in his pack. What are these things and why does he still carry them? Where did they come from? And will he ever get over the strange events of his last trip up north?

Performed by, and written by Noel Olken, this autobiographical tale will intrigue, amuse and maybe even shock you. Because truth IS stranger than fiction. And when it comes to baggage, we all have some.

This performance will take place on one night only, September 11, 2011 at the Victory Theatre in Burbank, CA. It will be performed on The Little Victory stage.

THE LITTLE VICTORY
3324 West Victory Blvd, Burbank, CA 91505
box office: 818.841.5422

Consider your pledge of $10 or more as an advance ticket purchase. If I don't reach my goal I will still be doing the show on 9/11/11. But if I reach my goal it will be a lot more fun for all of us.

This is my first one person show since Coffee Time, performed at Lower Links in Chicago, IL in 1993.

Thank you for your support. As you can see, I am only giving myself 16 days to raise my goal. Please consider pledging now and spreading the word to your friends on Face Book at the No Boundarys event page. While you are there you can friend me."

I hope you will consider making a pledge, or buying a ticket and coming to see the show. if you can't see the show maybe you will pledge anyway and I'll give the ticket to an unemployed actor or truck driver or banker.

In any event, this is what I am doing with my life right now and I am very excited about it and really hope you get to see it. Thank you. I hope you are well and thriving. Living your dreams and making each day wonderful.

Noel

Get Off The Phone!

2011-03-30T10:13:00.000-07:00

I was recently pulled over on the freeway in Los Angeles for talking on a phone while driving. I was holding a "phone" in my hand, that's true, but I wasn't talking.

Like most states these days, talking while driving is a ticket-able offense, and in California the fine can be anywhere from 150 - 200 dollars. That's a lot of money. But you know the awful feeling you get when you are about to be pulled over by the cops? Well, I wasn't feeling it. In fact, I was laughing so hard, and the passenger in the van with me was laughing so hard, it was like a funny movie.

I was coming back from a catering gig in Beverly Hills, a brunch for some Hollywood royalty, and I had been up since 5 AM. It was a slightly over the top brunch that was rather quick and mostly painless. Our "kitchen" was on the loading dock of a BH office building. As the dumpsters were right next to us on the dock, when I was throwing some trash away I saw a box with some office supplies. As I am a recovering scrounger, I couldn't help but check out the contents; there were some old computer cables, a paper tray, some old files, and lookie here, an old telephone handset. I grabbed a cable and the handset and sticking one end of the cable into my apron pocket, I held the phone and pretended to be talking on my "new cell phone". Very funny right? Ha ha.

So as I'm driving the van back to the shop I'm goofing around with the handset. I admit I like having an audience (Kris says that why I married her) so I like that the chef, Jen, was cracking up every time I pulled up at a red light and pretended to talk on my "phone" for other drivers to see me.

So we're on the 10 East heading towards downtown and I see I'm about to pass a co-workers car, so I slowed down and pulled beside Micah and Rachel and pretended to talk on my "phone". All of a sudden a CHP car pulls next to Micah's car and looks at me on the "phone".

I put down the phone pretty quick, but the squad car maneuvers behind me, and I see Rachel in the other car look freaked out. The lights come on and I hear the cop tell me to pull over at the next exit.

We were on the 10 E heading into the 110 North interchange where there is no easy exit for a few miles. So the officer is following me in this slow traffic on the interchange and Jen is cracking up and we are laughing and I am not bothered at all by this hilarious situation.

He finally directs me to exit at 9th Street and pull over. He gets out of his car and walks over to the passenger side of the van. Jen rolls down her window and he says " Do you know why I pulled you over? You were talking on a cell phone."

I reached over to the center console and picked up the handset and said, "You mean this?"

I so wish I had a picture of his face when he saw the cordless handset. It was classic. It was a combination of shock, surprise, and embarrassment. I could see he was quickly trying to assess how much the others CHIPS would make fun of him if he wrote me a ticket.

I started telling him that we are coming back from a catering gig and I found this phone and I was goofing around with a co-worker and I wasn't really talking on the phone.

Then he asks, "Do you have a cell phone in the car"? Yes, but its in my pocket.

Let me see your license. He looks at it and writes something on a piece of paper and says, "You're lucky, I'm gonna let you off with a warning". Then he asks if I know how to get back on the freeway from here. He was very nice.

Now I agree it was nice he let me go without a ticket, but I wonder what he could have written a ticket for? Illegal use of a hand prop? Aggravated mimery? Clowning with a permit?

I have been living in LA for five years and that was the first time I have been pulled over by the cops. I hope it will always be so pleasant.

Safe driving everyone!

(staged photo re-enactment by Rachel Rath)

Holy Fuck has it been a long time since I wrote any thing here!

2011-03-02T20:31:00.000-08:00

Love, Noel

Only 5 more months to Human Trafficking day!

2010-08-13T01:30:00.000-07:00

I last wrote on 1/11. Today is 8/11. Human Trafficking awareness day is 1/11. Wow.

Well, human trafficking has become a part of my life again. I'm raising money on Kickstarter now to release my film, Meditations On Trafficking, on DVD. Its going okay, but we have a long way to go. Here is a link it: http://kck.st/af0Ql9

It has been a number of years since I did all my research into trafficking, and I'm glad to say, now that I am back to it again, that it is easier to find more. I guess that could also be seen as a negative. Is there more trafficking than there was nine years ago? Seems like it. Or did they just not see it all

With the world economy the way it is, it sure seems like there would be more crime overall, and trafficking is a crime, first, and a despicable act second.

So, if they know where all this trafficking is going on, and if they know where it takes place, and if they know who is doing it....why can't they simply stop it?

I truly believe if we wanted, as a nation, as a superpower, as a planet, to eliminate trafficking, we could do it. But who has the patience to focus on one thing at a time and actually make a difference in the world. That's what its gonna take.

Well, stopping it is simply not in the best interest of the masters of the universe. They like a little seemliness around the edges. They like a little nookie too, once in a while, and they like it when someone else gets their hands dirty.

Human trafficking takes place to feed the sexual appetite of men worldwide. Not poor men, or colored men, or skinny men or fat men, not rich men or poor man, just men.

And so it is, men want hookers, and there just isn't enough to go around. So they have to procure it. Like the vampires on True Blood. They take it. Unlike Vampires, traffickers have absolutely no redeeming qualities what-so-ever.

I hate traffickers. I hope they all die.

What a day!

2010-01-11T22:43:00.000-08:00

01/11/10 oh one one one one oh

woke up in a funk. A bit tense. Uneasy. A lot going on. I'm sure sex crossed my mind. but Kris was still sleeping.

as I made coffee, I was obsessed with the idea of divisiveness in our country. Like it's still the Civil War. Got it out of my system with a post on FB. For now.

It got better. All in all, it was a very productive day.

Coffee and tea with Kris. That's where we sit on the couch, our feet up, she with her tea, I with my coffee. We talk, we laugh, we joke, we play, we fight, we make up, we pinch each other.

went to the mancave - my windowless garage office:

emails
facebook
car research, more.
edit autotrader car ad

Breakfast with Kris. Mmmm, Kris!

after breakfast:

on-line banking - ugh.

vacuum car and clean out all the crevices

craig's list ads for video/film jobs

research dvd ripping software
download a shareware trail version and check it out:
rip a scene from 7 Greatest Bathrooms to test product, pretty good
buy it, start prep for new acting reel

peruse actors access for acting jobs

LA Casting to check on tomorrows time for a look-see

listen to air america - hartmann and rhodes

install a light on the garage in the driveway

go to carmax and see how much they will buy my car for -
- talk about "stealing the trade".
- They must have really not wanted it.

stop at the hardware store to by a daylight sensor for the new light over the garage

stop at a bank - deposit a check.

return home.
get mail

check email

rake leaves in front garden, clean up new seating area, prep flower beds
take garbage and recycling bins to the curb

say hello to neighbor

say hello to Lucky next door

listen to Tom Horne's "word salad"

buy some new music on itunes, Kings Of Leon, Arcade Fire, The Dodos

Got obsessed with the idea that I had to forgive everyone in my life who I ever had any anger towards. So I did. I just forgave them all. And myself. Let it go.

checked email

Watch the 450th Simpson's episode

Watch the 20th Anniversary special

go back to the mancave and write some more

Kris just got home, gotta go

The horse is dead, you can stop beating it.

2010-01-06T19:03:00.000-08:00

Americans are so body conscious...or should I say hung-up. That's it. Hey, America; why are you so HUNG UP!

Rather than focus on the bigger problem of Whole Body Scanning (x-raying) all domestic air travelers, some American's are getting hung up on the idea that they will be seen naked.

That is scary. We should be scared. First, it's going to be the TSA. And we all have experienced the pleasure of the TSA. If ever there was a profession that was tailor fit for dementors, it would be with the TSA. They can suck the life out of you pretty easily.

And the first thing I thought was what does this picture look like? What are they seeing? If it's going to be anything like seeing a fat woman at the mall in skin tights pants, I hope they get paid well for that. It may lead to a new disease. Fatosis - Fatty and psychosis. From seeing too many fatties.

Yeah, that's right people, you should be scared. Some eighteen dollar an hour TSA worker will be looking at all your junk and deciding if you need a pat down or not. This is the same worker who can't join a union. Thank you Sen. Jim DeMint (R-S.C.) Sen Jim believes if TSA unionizes it will be easier for terrorists to get past the TSA. Huh? What have you been smoking, Jim? Feeling paranoid? Are there spiders on the wall? Dude, you're tripping.

If I worked for the TSA, yeah now that's a thought, but if I did, I might like that there is now a new way to fuck with people. Or maybe, during a pat down, you might meet someone?

So, no one knows which way this thing is gonna go. Will all passengers have to go through it? Only certain passengers as a secondary screener? Does that mean profiling? And really, don't we do that already. Do we really need to pull Grandma and Grandpa out of line? Is Joan Rivers really a threat? And which passengers are we really talking about? Your children? A new born? A down syndrome adult? Only middle eastern men?

Have you ever been interrogated at an airport by an Israeli security agent? I was, in Amsterdam. They get in your face and they look at you. They look at you up and down and they see you better than any body scan machine. They do a brain scan, and they do a damn fine job. If you got a bomb on your junk - they're gonna know it.

So why don't we have that level of security guards? Why don't we have screeners who are trained professionals? Who wear well fit designer suits and look like they all could kill you by twitching. Well, most likely because they are well trained, well paid, and the job comes with good benefits. Ah, with health care! That costs money. No we can't do that. We can't put the money into people! No, instead Americans build a cheap ass machine, as cheap as possible, and then put low paid workers with little training in front of the monitors.

But Israel trains their people and then they send them out into the world to train others and perform those same tasks for other countries who don't or won't do it themselves. And they do it because we pay for it. Time we paid for it here!

And if they ram this down our throats, you know they are gonna need to sell it to us Madison Avenue style.

Christ, I see it now. Fox evening news; "here's a smiling baby, held by a beautiful smiling young conservative mother going through the body scan. See, its easy." And the zombie talking heads will then make a bad joke about a poopie diaper, and we'll all laugh, and it will be okay.

I'm gonna puke. Then I'm gonna eat my puke so I can puke again. Fuck heads.

Speaking of how many of us fly in America, I looked around, and I found these numbers:

1 "Published: June 25, 1997
"AIRLINE passenger loads show no signs of easing, and in fact carriers have already boarded millions more passengers this year than last, when a record 581.2 million passengers flew."

2 "the airlines carried 745.7 million passengers on their total systems during 2005, up from the 712.6 million carried in 2004. During the first nine months of 2005, U.S. airlines carried 5.9 percent

3 "Bureau of Transportation - RITA - Total On-Flight Market Passengers Enplaned 468,777,039

So, 1996 - 581.2 million passengers. 2005 - 745.7 million passengers. 2009 - 468.7 million passengers

So that means that air travel is below levels last seen in 1996. And what does that mean? I haven't a clue. But I do know this; if everyone has to go through a scan, it is going to be a drag for everybody.(©noelolken)

For some people it will be on grounds of invasion of privacy. For some the radiation levels are a concern. For some it's civil liberties. For some, it's a religious issue. For some it will be the extra time it will take. So many reasons.

I hope America comes to it's senses soon. Why do we all have to go through this when the incident that started it, as serious as it is, didn't originate in this country, and probably wouldn't have been detected by this machine anyway. So why are we doing this? There is a grayed out area that covers the "junk". So what would that have done? Is it too cynical to think that it's just to sell machines? Who is gonna get these contracts and how much will it be worth? And will the machines be made here in America? Or will they be made overseas? China? The horse is dead, you can stop beating it.

ABC's Aaron Katersky Reports: "On June 4, 2009 the U.S. House of Representatives passed a bill, H.R. 2200, that would limit the use of whole-body imaging (WBI) systems in airports."

Wow! Only six months ago they got shut down by the Congress, that bold group of leaders we call Politicians. It goes on..."The amendment prohibits the use of full-body scanners as a primary screening method. They can be used as secondary screening and in such a case “would require the TSA to give passengers the option of a pat-down search in lieu of going through a WBI machine.”

Well that's nice, now we have options! Radiation or humiliation.

"We have a special today, radiation and a thorough pat down, comes with continental breakfast buffet only 6.99, cash or credit?"

Now I have to tell you, it may come as a surprise to some, but in my past I was profiled as a terrorist by many civilian and military police officers all over the world. Being a long haired, dark skin traveler in the 1980's in Europe just lent it self to that. Sure it was popular to travel, sure many people were doing it, but if you looked like me, you got pulled out of line a lot. If you were a bubbly blond with a Canadian flag sewn to your back pack, not so much.

One time I was taken off a train on my way to the airport in France, taken to a holding room at the station, and strip searched. Had my cavity examined. My anal cavity.

Once I was pushed up against the cold ceramic tile walls in a Parisian Metro station and had a machine gun thrust in my face.

Once I was terrorized by German Shepards as the police went through my vehicle.

The French Police had there way with me often, but I also had encounters with the German Police, the Swiss Police, Italian Polizei, and Greek officers. I was strip searched a total of three times, and countless pat downs and having my bags and pockets searched. It's not fun. And I was not a terrorist. Well, one cop in New Orleans must have thought my playing was a terrorist act - he arrested me for it.

So look, there are lots of reasons not to like this idea, but body image problems shouldn't really be a major one. If you got a problem with someone seeing your outline, maybe you ought to hit the gym.

I imagine there are lots of people who will like the experience. Get off on it. I wonder if it's against the law to look the screener right in the eye and wink, or lick your lips? If not, it probably will be. Gosh we love laws in this country. Think we have enough of them?

Hey this will make a good porn video. Vivid, if you're reading this and if you want my story, give me a call, I'd love to direct it. I could write the script tomorrow, we can shoot it over the weekend, we could get the DVD on line next Friday. Let's go. I'll cut my usual rate. I need work.

I know I won't fly anywhere soon unless I absolutely have to, but, sure, I'll do it, if I have to. Air travel is a privilege, not a right. If you don't want to do it, you don't have to. You can take a steamer to Paris. Go ahead. Book passage today. Prices are going up soon.©noelolken

The Untouchables - American style

2010-01-04T21:44:00.000-08:00

I had a thought today that many Americans are becoming like the rag pickers of India. The Untouchables who go through the mountains of trash to find scraps of cloth or metal to eek out a meager living.

And what brought me to that thought? It wasn't the beggars on every corner. It wasn't the multitude of homeless people going through the trash. It wasn't the families working together to find cans and bottles to sell for cash. No, that is easy to see. No, it was...

The Internet. Yes, the Internet.

Let's face it, the Internet is cool, but it's also filled with so much garbage. You can find so many wonderful things on it, the whole sum of human existence is here somewhere, if you know where to look. So much creativity and beauty. But there is also a lot of garbage.

Some people are making a good living on the internet. Some have even become rich. And some people are like Untouchables.

Check this out. I'm selling my car right now using classified ads on the internet. Every response I've had so far has only been from someone trying to scam me, phish info on me, or sell me something. They got my info from the classified ads I posted. To do that, these people must cull through the ads, the piles and piles of ads (garbage) to find scraps of information (rags) to try to make a few pennies. If they get me to click on a link they send me, they might make a penny. If they get me to buy a service, they might get a commission. But it won't be a fortune, it won't even be enough to live on. It might be enough to subsist on. And tomorrow they will be going through the ads again looking for more rags. They aren't building anything. They aren't adding to the beauty of the world. They are just rag pickers, trying to stay alive one more day.

Another sign of the fall of the American Empire.

a quick note...

2009-12-07T10:23:00.000-08:00

Been so long since I wrote, I thought a quick note to all my readers would be timely. What's up, peeps? How are you?

Very busy here in Noe-LA LA land, working a lot, catering to the needs of party goers in the LA area. Television directors, movie stars, and six year olds alike have received some awesome catering from yours truly.

Of course that's not why I'm here, it's just my day job. Still waiting for that big break thats right around the corner. I can feel it.

A short film I was in last year is on line, you can see it here...
http://www.vimeo.com/7424860

And a indie feature I am in called The Seven Greatest Bathrooms In LA, (I know) is available to purchase on line as well. Looking for my next project! Someone want to cast me in a movie?

My friend Lance got me hooked up with this movie that shot in Chicago last month, and that turned into an associate producer role on "The Return Of Joe Rich", a cool indie film starring Armand Assante and Talia Shire. The director, Sam Auster is here in LA and I'm going to continue working on the film through post production. It should be a cool little film.

As for my films, Explode is still being edited. I have some new ideas to make it more abstract and less linear, expand the story with the footage I already shot by adding a voice over. it's gonna be very cool.

My first film, Slave, has been re-edited and I changed the name back to my original title, Meditations On Trafficking. As soon as I can gather up a thousand dollars to make DVD's I'll be self distributing the film on the web.

So, we moved in October and finally found a cool little house in the Highland Park neighborhood of LA. Its just north of downtown, close to Pasadena. 20 minutes from Hollywood, and we hear roosters crowing in a nearby backyard!

We have less square footage than the loft, but Kris and I each have our own working space, separate from each other, so it feels like we have more usable space. I'm writing to you now from the "MAN-CAVE", the detached garage that is my office and work space. No windows, no sunlight, no distractions. It was converted into a recording studio by the previous tenant, so it's sound proofed and I can play my guitar as loud as I like. It was a hard move, it took us two days to move all our stuff, but now that we are settled in, it is really great. Come on out and visit.

Thanksgiving has come and gone, Kris had a birthday, and here we are less than three weeks from Christmas. Another year of living in Paradise!

Hope all is well in your world.

N

Where's the refrigerator?

2009-08-27T22:05:00.000-07:00

It's moving time. We've been in our loft for three years now, and it's time for a change. Mostly to lower our rent, but also for a change. Loft living is cool, but it has its drawbacks.

So I'm reminded of another curious thing about Los Angeles? Not every rental apartment comes with a refrigerator. Yes, I know that's odd, being from "back east". When I first moved here and looked at apartments, no one could really tell me why or how that started, just "...this apartment doesn't come with a refrigerator".

So, if you are a renter, you have to carry around a refrigerator with you when you move. I suppose you could leave it, I'm sure some people do. And what if you have a refrigerator and you move into a new place that has one already? I suppose you can sell yours, or ask the land lord to move his. If you do sell yours, and move again in a year, you may have to buy another one. It gets complicated. And if you find a really cool place and it doesn't have a fridge, would you really not take it because you have to spend a few hundred bucks on a fridge?

So as I scour Craig's List for our new apartment, I study the pictures of the kitchen closely. Is there a big empty space under the cabinet or not? Does it say refrigerator included? I even saw an ad today that says, " Comes with a gas stove!" Wow, really. The apartment comes with a stove? How nice.

We still haven't found where we are going to move to yet, but we have started the best part of moving...the Purge! Getting rid of stuff. Eliminating clutter before you move it. Going through everything you own and asking yourself, "Do I still want this?"

We started today, going through files and paperwork. I must have cleared at least thirty pounds of old paper from my file cabinets. Old bank statements, bills and receipts. And it's just the beginning. Oh, yeah, it feels real good. This time I made a promise; I will be brutal, I will be unrepentant in my purging, and I will take no prisoners.

Going to the beach day!

2009-08-12T12:45:00.001-07:00

Work. Work. Work. All I do is work. Fuck that, I'm going to the beach today with my beautiful wife who looks so hot in a bikini.

The rest can wait. Job? Who needs a job. Money? Who needs money.

Ring, ring. The bank is calling honey, they want your ass in a sling. Let 'em wait. The beach is calling.

Gotta give to me for one day.

Can I see your crapper, please?

2009-08-12T09:42:00.000-07:00

We are currently looking for a new apartment and will be moving in about six weeks. How fun.

I spend a lot of time on Craig's List looking at what is available for rent now, and I am always surprised by how bad the pictures are that people post, to entice me to come look at their rental units.

For example, if there is a window in the kitchen; and you would be amazed at how many apartments they built in Los Angeles with galley kitchens that have no window, but if there is a window, they leave the blinds closed.

Then there are the people who post pictures of the bathroom. Really, the apartment comes with a crapper and indoor plumbing? Wow, I'll take it. Do you really think that showing me your plain jane sink and toilet will jazz me up enought to run out and see it? Ah, at least turn the light on?

Why don't you save the space CL gives you for four photos for something interesting, like built in cabinets, the fire place, a view from the balcony? Oh, because your crappy apartment doesn't have anything like that to offer.

As a former location scout, I know how hard it is to photograph a small bedroom. It's impossible. You see a small sliver of a room that only looks smaller because there is such a narrow angle. At least open the closet door and give it a little depth?

hey land lords, call me, for $100 bucks I'll come shoot your apartment and make it look interesting. Till then, what's the next crapper look like?

New Uniforms for Congress!

2009-05-11T10:20:00.000-07:00

So here's my idea. All Senators and Congress People have to wear the logos of their corporate sponsors like race car drivers.

We need to see when a congress person or senator gets up to speak on CSPAN who they are owned by.

For example, when the good Senator from the Sate of Montana gets up to speak against single payer health care, it would be nice if we can clearly see on his "uniform" all the campaign contributions from the insurance companies, health care providers, or pharmaceutical companies that he has taken. The bigger the donation, the higher up and the bigger it is on his uniform.

I think this is an idea whose time has come.

New Post - 9/27/08

2008-09-27T06:29:00.000-07:00

I didn't know what else to call this post. Its been almost three months since my last post, and there is so much to write about, so okay, let me just get into it.

In my last post on July 4th, I spoke about my new film, Explode. Well I am glad to say the film has wrapped principal photography and is in the can. We shot it in seven and a half days in September.

I held a casting session on August 28th for some of the principal roles, started shooting on Sept 9, and wrapped Sept. 25. We shot a few days a week, around my work schedule.

I'll write more about Explode's production in a future post. I think it could be a good read for anyone who wants to make a small movie with no money and no crew. (I had a crew of six, and some of them were only on the film one day.)

But for now, to my cast and crew, I can't thank you enough. Your participation in the film was remarkable, and means so much to me. I couldn't have made this film without the help of the amazing Kris Cahill, who took time away from her painting studio to help produce this film for me, Rita Hausberger, my DP, and Leila Perry, my wardrobe designer and costumer.

To Joe Estevez, Circus*Szalewski, and the other 21 actors with speaking roles in the film,(24 speaking parts in such a small movie!!!!) I can't say enough how much I appreciate your participation and what a remarkable job you all did under such difficult conditions.

When I started planning this film, I didn't expect to start a new career, finally hanging up my server's apron. Did I find a job in the entertainment field like I was looking for? Did I land a studio production job? No, not yet, but if anyone from a studio is reading this, I'm still available and ready to start tomorrow; no, I started a new career as a car salesman. A what? That's right, you heard me, an automobile car sales professional. I thought it would be interesting, and I hoped I could make more money than waiting tables. Hey, if you are in So Cal and are looking for a new or pre-owned vehicle, drop me a line.

So a new job, lots of uncertainty in the market, a collapsing economy, a contentious election, a world in turmoil, and what do I do? I make a small dramatic feature on credit cards. I am a nut, but a film nut who just has to do my own thing, make my own art, and not let anyone tell me I can't.

September was also a busy month for me as an actor, in that two films I shot in the last year were going to have premieres. One, the long anticipated The $179.92 Movie, premiered last Thursday in Hollywood. It was fun to see, and my three scenes looked great.

The other film, the much bigger Pirates 2: Stagnetti's Revenge, is calling itself the worlds most expensive and comprehensive adult feature in the world! With a cast of sexy superstars, Pirates 2 is already the most pre-ordered title ever. In fact, the movie is so popular, they are releasing an R rated version as well.

Tonights red carpet premiere and media event at a classic movie palace in downtown Los Angeles is going to be a blast. And guess what? You can see my character, Blind Ed, in the trailer - twice! Yeah, I'm in the trailer. First time a role I play is in the trailer for a film. But not the last time, I can tell you that. Here is a link to the Pirates 2 website, where you can see the trailer, but be warned, it is a XXX adult site.

So as you can see, its been a pretty busy month.

But I have time for more. So if you want to hire me to direct a feature, produce a feature, or star in your upcoming feature, please contact me. I'm ready to go.
Until then, I'll just keep working on the edit of Explode, and all the other projects I have going on, like the Kiss From Calcutta webisode project we start shooting again in October, and more ground breaking ideas from my fertile and creative mind.

Enjoy the trailer, and I'll be writing more soon about Explode and the whole production process, with photos and post production updates.

That's all for now,

Noel

Like a bad penny - I'm back!

2008-07-04T10:57:00.000-07:00

Hey you all, how are you? I'm back again to fill this small box with words and ideas. Happy fourth of July to you? What are you doing today? I'm going to work, cause I'm free to work as much as I want. Hurray Amerika!

Thinking about so many things since I last wrote - months ago.

Very excited about Barack Obama being the democratic nominee for President. What a primary fight that was. I'm totally down with that. Really hoping that universal health care is in all our futures. Can't wait to see who will play at the inaugural dinner.

I've been thinking about trying my hand at stand up comedy. been going to see a few shows at The Improv on Melrose. Working on some new material now.

Also, and this is the most exciting, I'm getting ready to make a new movie. I'm writing, directing, producing, starring in, and composing the sound track. I'm gonna do it all and showcase my talents. I am going to take Hollywood by storm and NOW is the time! The film is called Explode! and its an existential crime thriller. I call it "Of Mice And Men meets Waiting For Godot meets Reservoir Dogs". Its gonna rock. I'm shooting it in August and hope to have it finished by the end of the year.

As an actor I have three films and a webisode in the can, completed, that I hope you will all get to see soon.

Okay, that's it, enough for my first day back. Off to work soon. Have a safe and happy fourth and remember democracy starts with you - tag you're it! Do something.

Restaurant dress code - High on Crack.

2008-04-25T14:25:00.000-07:00

Hey all you hipsters out there, I got news for you. Wearing your pants low on your hips so your butt crack shows when you sit down is passe. Hitch up your pants when you sit down would you?

I was having a wonderful evening out with friends the other night, when just as our meal ended, a hipster couple comes in and sits down across from us. The male of the couple has his back to me and I can't help but notice his butt crack smiling at me from across the aisle. Eww! I don't want to look at that!

I wondered if there was a polite way to tell him his butt crack was hanging out in a public place, but I couldn't think of one. Like when a guys zipper is down, you say, "Your barn door is open". How about, "Excuse me bro, but your skinny ass is hanging out of your stupid perma-press plaid pants". Or, "Hey, are you a plumber?"

I wanted to take a picture, but instead I drew a picture on a napkin. I think I'm going to try to market it to restaurants worldwide. Maybe it should be posted next to the NO SMOKING signs. What do you think? Let's end this crack epidemic now. Crack Kills!

Day 9

2008-04-22T09:00:00.000-07:00

Hello Everyone,

I'd like you to take a minute from your working out and stretching so I can tell you about mine. Today is day nine of the 30 day workout plan. I have been diligently working out everyday and I really feel the difference. I dropped two pounds and I feel great. It is becoming something I look forward to now and it really is habit forming.

If I was to do a commercial for working out, would I have to have the slick sounding voice over person come on and read the disclaimer?

"Warning: working out everyday can lead to better health and stamina, constant feelings of euphoria, restful sleep and great energy. Some exercisers have reported weight loss, mental clarity, loss of appetite, increased sexual desire, ability to stop taking pharmaceuticals, better breath, solid stools, renewed friendships, increased work promotions and more laughter. Other side effects may include more money in the bank, lack of fear and anxiety and longer life expectancy. Please consult a doctor before starting any workout regimen. If your doctor says you can't do it, find another doctor"

Now, back to your workout.

Cause I'm The Tax Man...

2008-04-16T00:31:00.001-07:00

I was cast in a very fun video shoot as HR, as in HR Block, the tax preparation company. Seems they charge quite a bit for their services if you want a Refund Anticipation Loan (RAL). This documentary on RAL's by Karney Hatch will explain it all, in under five minutes, so you don't get taken advantage of. I had a lot of fun doing it and I hope you like it too. Check out Karney's other work at Current TV.

30 day workout program - begin!

2008-04-14T14:18:00.000-07:00

Day 1: April 14, 2008

Last year I participated in a 12 week workout program and I was very impressed by how much weight I lost and how my body changed in such a short time. 12 weeks is a short time, when compared to how long I spent talking about doing something about my weight.

As I wrote last year, and discussed at great length in previous posts, in twelve weeks I lost 20 pounds and 15 1/2 inches overall and was feeling great. However, when the program ended, when I no longer was obliged to attend regular workouts under the watchful gaze of a coach, I stopped working out regularly.

Sure I worked out, but no longer 3 to 6 times a week like I did during the program. If a week went by and I didn't go to the club, I'd chalk it off to being really busy. If a month went by, I would tell myself it was okay because I stretched a few times at home.

The result was that since the program ended 10 months ago, and I gave my testimonial and took my beautiful "after" pictures, I put back on seven pounds. That is almost a pound a month. You do the math and figure out where I would be in two years, or five years. No, can't have that again. The yo-yo effect is a very real phenomenon that people who struggle with their weight have to deal with. I have dealt with it all my life. I have a small frame, but if I am not careful, I can pack on the pounds really quickly.

Fortunately the size 31 pants I bought still fit, and the seven pounds don't show a lot, but I knew I had to do something.

The key to success in making changes in your life like weight loss or working out are commitment and accountability. It has to be to yourself, first and foremost, but getting others involved can be very helpful.

For example: Last week I worked out two days in a row, and I felt good, so I decided to extend that and see if I couldn't make a big change again in my toning. I decided that I would workout thirty days in a row, just for the hell of it, to see what happens. Would I lose weight? Would I tone my abs again? It was worth a try, as no matter what happened I had nothing to lose and everything to gain. (Or seven pounds to lose and abs to gain).

Then I was talking to a friend of mine, and it hit me, what if I suggest he do the same thing; that he join me in a thirty day workout? That way we could feel a sense of community and responsibility to ourselves and each other. Communities and groups tend to create a strong motivation that gives a person the courage and the strength to do things that they may not succeed at on their own. It doesn't matter that he lives in Chicago and I live in Los Angeles, we could chart our progress and encourage each other.

I know when I was a teenager I felt that at the Weight Watcher meetings I attended. When the leader announced how much weight each member lost to the group, and you got applause for it, it was a strong and positive affirmation. And last year, I felt that in the group program. A feeling of competition, encouragement and connection.

If I said I was going to workout for thirty days, and I told no one, who would call me on it if I missed a day? No one. If a man is alone in the woods and doesn't do his push-ups, does it still add calories? That makes no sense, but I knew if I had to report to someone that I had done my workout I would be more motivated.

So every Monday for the next five week I will report to you, dear reader, my progress of working out everyday for 30 days. Specifically, no matter what else I do; run, swim, weight training, etc, I have to do 200 ab crunches and 50 push-ups a day for the next 30 days. As the days go on, if I decide to increase the numbers I can, that is just a minimum.

You are my motivation. Its a win-win situation.

So, if this makes you think that maybe you too would like to shed a few pounds before summer, and help your self get back in shape, then why don't you call a friend, make a commitment, and just get started. What have you got to lose?

Oh, by the way, since I completed the program last year I have retained most of the gains I made in muscle mass and at almost 49 years old, I can honestly say I have never been in better shape in my life. I remember I once tried out for the football team in high school and at the first workout I couldn't do one push-up. Some girls laughed at me. Now I can do a set of twenty no problem.

Here in Los Angeles, trying to make it as an actor means I have to do everything I can to make myself standout over thousands of other actors all going for the same job. Confidence is important, and so is backing it up with a certain look. I want to be the strong 50 year old who could have been a strong twenty year old. No one has to know I was ever fat, or weak, or carried an extra 70 pounds on me. No, I can be the tough old guy, which is a role I prefer over aging paunchy fat guy.

And the camera adds weight anyway, so being a little overweight really shows on camera, as opposed to being really toned and buff.

Vain? Maybe a little, but I have a career at stake here. I am a performer, and as such, I have to make myself look good. No, better than good. Great.

What are you going to do today?

Blind Ed

2008-04-05T13:23:00.000-07:00

Two posts in one day?

Well, it's been a few weeks since I did my shoot on the "adult feature" Pirates II. It was such a fun day. I was treated very well, I worked with really interesting people, and I thought I did a great job.

My role, a comedic character who helps the hero along on his journey, was really fun to shoot. Wearing a latex eye patch over one eye and a "blind" contact lens in the other was interesting, but not comfortable at all. Here is what I looked like:

The makeup department did an awesome job.

It was a really professional shoot. The crew was top notch. The wardrobe, sets, and costumes matched any studio production I've ever been on. Joone, the director, really knew what he wanted and how to get it. I just had a blast. I can't wait to see it. And I hope I get invited to the premiere. That will be one fun party.

Word on the set was that Pirates II may get an R rated release, which would mean a lot of people might see this movie, and me. I hope so. I have three films still in the can, all set to be released this year. It could be a big year!

Patriotism

2008-04-05T11:45:00.000-07:00

What is Patriotism? What is love of country? Is it simply and easily wearing an American Flag lapel pin?

Some weeks ago there was an uproar in the press, started by the right, against Barack Obama for not wearing a flag pin on his lapel.

Ridiculous, I know, but Americans like to get caught up in these childish pursuits.

For my self, I don't care whether or not a person wears a flag pin or not, though to be honest, the sight of a flag pin on someone's lapel makes me less trusting of that person, not more so.

But I would like to ask you this; where was that lapel pin made? I would wager it was made in China. And so by wearing an American flag lapel pin made in another country, you are supporting the outsourcing of jobs FROM America, the transfer of wealth OUT of America, the exploitation of workers across the world, and letting corporations get away with making massive profits and not pay taxes here in the states.

Thats what I think of your flag lapel pin.

How could you not like that speech?

2008-03-18T22:10:00.000-07:00

Hi Everyone,

It's been hard to write the last few weeks, so sorry for not keeping up to date with my musings. Hope you are well. I've been feeling pretty dark lately, but its all good now. Even two days in Vegas couldn't get me jazzed up enough to write. What a place, Vegas. Pretty funny. Maybe that will be a future post. The drive through the desert was nice.

I lost my job the other night. Funny story, I'll share it some day. It was getting in the way of my acting, so, I had to leave. Reminds me of what Kris' grandfather used to always say to me, "When your work gets in the way of your fun, you have to leave that job". He didn't really mean it, but he said it a lot. Anyway, I guess I took it to heart.

Anyway, did you see Barack Obama's speech today? You really have to invest the 37 minutes and check it out. He does more in 37 minutes to help heal the racial divide in America than I've seen anyone do in 37 years. And he did it by just telling it like it is. By saying what is on the minds of so many people. By expressing out loud the feelings and frustrations and desire for change so many people have; black, white, brown, Hindu, Christian, Jew, Muslim, Catholic, in short, most Americans today.

His story is remarkable, and very American. And if he is elected president I know things will turn around. People will feel empowered, and our elected officials will start to listen. Things will change.

And he even acknowledged those who don't want change, those who like things like they are. Fortunately there are only a few Americans like that, but they are a mighty few. I think they will come around though, I think they will see what is good for America will be good for them too.

He delivered a speech that was magnificent, and presidential. Boy, its been a long time since we've heard words like that. And so, in spite of what I'm going through these days, dealing with money problems, career problems, agent problems, and creative blocks, I am full of hope tonight at the thought of Barack Obama as the next president of The United States.

Here's a link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pWe7wTVbLUU

Here's the video:

Phantom Love in Chicago 2/29-3/06

2008-03-02T23:32:00.000-08:00

Greetings Reader,

How are you? It's getting pretty late, are you okay to drive home from here? If not, leave your keys with the bartender and hitch-hike home.

Say, are you from Chicago? I thought so. I could tell by the way you say "gimee a beef samich". Which is strange because I don't have beef sandwiches.

What am I selling? Dreams, my friend, pure dreams. Want one? I thought so. Who doesn't. Here, put this in your pocket and don't look at it until you get home.

You ever been to Facets on Fullerton? No, not the scrap iron place, the movie theatre. They show art films and stuff like that. Yeah, right, next to the sub shop. That's the one. Well if you go there this week you can see me in a movie. No I'm not shitting you. Yeah, me, in a movie, up on the big screen. No, I'm not in the new Harry Potter movie, not yet at least. But I hope I'll be in the last one.

No, I'm in a film called Phantom Love and its playing this week only. So go see it. No, no car chases. No, no explosions. Yeah, there is sex. There are snakes. And there is magic. There are boats and clouds and gambling too. And a river. Oh, and it's in beautiful black and white. Yeah, shot on film. No, film, you know, sprockets and emulsion and chemicals and shit. Yeah they sell popcorn. No, really, I'm not kidding you. I'm in the film. I play a preacher. On TV. A TV preacher. Yeah, all fire and brimstone this and burn in hell that. Check it out.

No, I don't get paid more if you see it, I just want you to go see a cool film and be like, "hey, I know that dude in the movie".

Here are the details. See it if you want. Drive home safely.

Phantom Love by Nina Menkes
in Chicago at Facets Cinematheque
1517 West Fullerton Ave
Chicago, IL 60614
773.281.4114
www.facets.org/cinematheque

Fri., Feb. 29 at 7 & 9 pm

Sat.-Sun., Mar. 1-2 at 3, 5, 7 & 9 pm

Mon.-Thurs., Mar. 3-6 at 7 & 9 pm

Chicago Reader Review:
http://onfilm.chicagoreader.com/movies/critic.html

Oscar Sunday

2008-02-24T12:27:00.000-08:00

I didn't want the day off today, but I have it, so I am going to make the best of it. Of course the best part will be spending the day with Kris, in our loft, working and then watching the Oscars on TV.

No Oscar parties for us this year. No galas or after parties or designer gowns and tuxedos. Maybe next year.

I haven't made any predictions for who will win tonight, but after seeing There Will Be Blood last night, I feel fairly certain that Daniel Day Lewis will walk away with the statue for Best Actor in a Lead Role. The film is remarkable, and DDL's performance was so nuanced and believable. (Was the opening an homage to My Left Foot?) What a despicable character.

I say nuanced and believable because as Bill The Butcher in Gangs of New York, he was fun, but I thought he was over the top and chewing everything in site.

And as Kris pointed out, I like how PT Anderson chose to look at the early titans of oil and show how evil they were, right from the start. First we'll steal from Americans, then we'll steal from the rest of the world. Pure evil. Delicious for filmmakers and artists, not so nice for the real people who have lost their lives and fortunes over oil.

For a guy who runs a movie review website, I admit I haven't seen most of the nominated films this year. In the best picture category I have only seen three of the five, and I am going to give the award to There Will Be Blood.

I hope by next year to build up Bikini Movie Review to a more recognized brand name and have a reporter on the red carpet. In a bikini of course. Cold and rainy as it may be.

And let me ask you, if the powers that be at A.M.P.A.S know how cold and rainy it is or can be in LA in February, why move the awards to this time from March? Huh? Why? Well don't complain about the weather then, okay? Just the thought of all those stars getting rained on thrills me.

Okay, gonna post this now before the ceremony starts. Off to more busy work in the life of an artist/actor/writer/producer/filmmaker/waiter.

I never thought I'd say that again. I'm a waiter. I'm a waitergonebad®. I thought I had hung up my apron for good, but it goes to show you, you never really know what life has in store for you sometimes.

Hey the sun just came out for a minute, maybe I'll go down stairs for a quick swim. Yes, I will.

I do have a call back tomorrow for a car commercial, so that is good.

Enjoy the fashions, the laughs and the celebration of tonights Oscars! Long live the cinema!

A Rant On Politics. Reader beware.

2008-02-20T22:37:00.000-08:00

A few days ago a friend in Chicago sent me a link to the Obama YES WE CAN video.

I in turn sent him a link to the same group of people singing the words of John McCain.

So scary.

Anyway, there were about thirty-nine people on the email list, and one of the people, someone I don't know, followed up by sending the entire list the stupid nonsense on the web that Obama is a muslim, that he was sworn in on a Koran, that he eats white babies for breakfast, blah, blah, blah, the same old crap. So I let that person have it for not thinking on his own and for being a pawn of the Rovians.

That was followed by another comment from another person I don't know attacking Obama but in a more intelligent way.

My post tonight is my reply to that letter. Do me a favor people, do what you think is right, but don't be afraid to open your ears and listen to all sides. Don't be afraid to talk to your friends and neighbors about the issues that deeply affect us all. And don't be afraid to admit when something you believe turns out to be false, or something you thought was false turns out to be true.

Dear XXXXXXXXX,

Thank you for your reply.

"I'll agree with everyone, that Mr. S------'s information is not all that credible and is pretty much a scare tactic."

Not all that credible?

"And I really don't like to talk politics..."

I wish Americans were not so reticent about talking about politics. Why is American Idol easier to talk about than who will be the next American President?

In any event, if we are ever going to grow as a nation, we need to be able to talk to each other about the difficult issues. Not fight, not insult, and not tell lies, but just talk. In the end, we all go into that little private booth and do what we feel is best. So thank you for entering this discussion. And for those who don't want to participate, no problem, that's what the DELETE button is for.

The voting record of all Senators are public record. Here is a link to a Washington Post data base of all the votes by US Senators in the 110th Congress.

http://projects.washingtonpost.com/congress/110/senate/members/

You are right, people should know the voting record of the candidates. That is a sure way to know the past. But sometimes people change their minds, and reverse their votes later. Clinton has. McCain has. That is fair, and shows the ability of a person to grow and change.

But while we should hold up voting records to scrutiny, members of Congress vote how for their constituents back home. When running for President, the rules are different. And those who run for President do miss many votes out on the campaign trail.

Obama was not in the senate when the vote to go to war was taken, but Clinton was, and she voted for it. And she continued to vote YES every time Bush asked for more money or power to fund his illegal war or continue his illegal occupation. That is the number one reason I will not vote for Clinton. She will not acknowledge the war is a travesty, and will not even say she will get our troops out of Iraq before 2013. Unacceptable.

McCain wants to keep us in Iraq for 100 years. How do you feel about that?

But Barack is not just a great, inspiring, speaker, he is against the war, he is for health care for all (his plan and Clinton's are virtually the same - which is too bad, neither go far enough towards single payer health care like every other developed nation on the planet), and his record in the Illinois Senate shows he votes for justice. Because of Barack, the Chicago Police now video tape interrogations. I want a President who will fight for all Americans.

And since you brought up Reagan, perhaps you are a Republican, so let me ask you are, are Republicans for tax increases? Because Reagan increased taxes 11 times. Are Republicans for granting amnesty to illegal aliens? Oh, because Reagan did that. Are Republicans for spending billions of dollars on a cockamamy defense project called Star Wars? Oh, yeah, they are. You got that one.

Now let's look at some other great Reagan accomplishments. Let's see, he broke the air traffic controllers union, which caused the beginning of the loss of good jobs in America and the decline of union membership in America. In 1980 25% of Americans were part of a union, today, it is 7%. Think about that next time you try to make a payment on your ballooning mortgage.

But to be fair, while Reagan started us down the slippery slope of deregulation and privatization, it was a Democrat by the name of Clinton who signed NAFTA into law, the worst thing he ever did, and I can't excuse that horrendous decision. And I'll never vote for a Clinton again. Ever.

But this all started because one person tried to spread a fun video, and another tried to spread nasty lies.

So now I'll stop, step down off my box, and wish you all a good night.

Noel Olken
Los Angeles, Ca

I won an award this week!

2008-02-19T00:06:00.000-08:00

I have been awarded the Mad Skillz award by Kris Cahill over at Art and Clairvoyance.

Thanks, Kris.

She gave me the award for making her laugh everyday with my silly characters, my silly movements, my silly dancing, my silly jokes and puns, and my silly noises.

Many people probably think I had to sleep with Kris to get this award, but I didn't have to. I would have done it anyway. In fact that is where I ought to be right now.

I'm up late again tonight trying to figure things out. I had a glimpse tonight of things getting better real soon. I'm gonna work on creating some magic in my life so that happens. Kris should get an award for making magic happen. She is good at that. She practices what she preaches. She teaches and inspires others to do the same. She deserves another award, too. The You Inspire me Award. I'm gonna Create one and send it to her.

As soon as I figure things out. Yeah. Okay. It's okay. It's all okay.

I read about Tom Wilkinson in the Times today. In his late forties, with a respected career in English theatre and television, he decided he wanted to make it in movies. So he went about and did it. And now he is nominated for his second Oscar. That is an inspiring story. I'm gonna give him an award, too.

I also, in my late forties, changed my career, picked up my life and wife moved us across the country. For what? To make a new career for myself in the talkies.

In fits and starts it is going. I'm just so damn impatient. And that's why I got to figure things out, cause it isn't happening for me as fast as I would like. It is happening though, and I can't lose sight of that. It is happening. Four speaking roles in four feature films in two years, (one premiered at Sundance) a guest spot on a TV show and recently a national commercial.

When you put it like that, it sounds pretty good?

Tomorrow will be a day of magic. Let's go to bed now. There is a cute little red-haired girl waiting for me who needs a good laugh. Tomorrow.

Night.

Sometimes I stay up at night thinking of ways to make Kris laugh. That's fun.

Night.

Tomorrow's lottery jackpot is 220 million. Well of course I bought a lottery ticket, didn't you?

Night.

Happy Valentines Day everybody!

2008-02-14T08:49:00.000-08:00

Whoever you are feeling special about, whoever you want to feel special about, whoever makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside - I hope you get to spend time with your valentine today. I know I will.

Here's to you, Valentine! Love, Noel

Here is a great heart. Painting by Kris Cahill.

http://www.kriscahill.com

411 on the 911

2008-02-12T19:48:00.000-08:00

I worked in Santa Monica today at the art gallery installing a new show. Driving home at about 7PM on the eastbound 10, I had to dodge a filing cabinet that was in the middle lanes. Pretty scary to have such a huge piece of debris on a busy highway. Probably fell off the back of one of those junk trucks. You know the trucks; an old jalopy of a pick-up with old doors on the sides so they can hold more junk, crammed full of all kinds of junk metal and tied down with a kite string? I love those guys, but I will never drive behind them because I always assume their load is going to fall off any second.

I assumed the debris had already been reported to the California Highway Patrol, but just to make sure, I called 911 anyway. In California, 911 is answered by the CHP and then calls are routed from there to the appropriate authority.

But here is the deal, and I think this is pretty scary. The call to 911 was answered by a machine that told me if this is a real emergency to press or say one, and then repeated the same message in Spanish. I did nothing, so the message repeated itself. Finally I said "one".

There was a series of clicks and noises and then another recording told me that all operators were busy and I should stay on the line. "Please stay on the line and an operator will be with you shortly". The same message was then repeated in Spanish. Following that was a series of clicks and then the sound of a phone ringing. After eight rings, the same recording came back on telling me that all operators are busy and to stay on the line. This happened at least four times, and my call wasn't answered by a human being until four minutes and thirty five seconds after I placed the call.

It was rather amusing to think what would have happened if this had been a real emergency. Is there, I wondered, another secret number for getting through in case of a REAL emergency?

Is the system privatized? Are the operators in Mumbai or Delhi? That could be a problem, no?

Here is a new message I thought of while waiting on hold.

If you have been shot, press one.
If you are holding your internal organs in your hand, press two.
If you are having a heart attack, press three.
If your house is on fire, please press four.
If you are being molested, please press five.
If you are being chased by a terrorist, please press six.
If you would like to be connected directly to a funeral home, press seven.
To hear music on hold, press eight.
To repeat these options, press nine.
For all other emergencies, please stay on the line and an operator will assist you in the order your call was received.

When an operator finally did assist me, he told me that they already had that incident on record and an officer was on the way. Whew, I feel better knowing that.

Ah, Los Angles, looking and feeling more like the movies Blade Runner or Brazil everyday.

Anyway, I made it home, and hopefully if I really do need to make a 911 call someday, and I hope I don't, it will go a little better than that.

Hey, did you hear the good news? The writers strike is finally over. Call 911!

Ahoy, mateys! Is that ship made of wood?

2008-02-11T17:47:00.000-08:00

So I'm working this really boring cocktail party last night. It's about 35 women and three men at a fancy private school in Los Angeles. It's a meet and greet for some visiting educators and some of the school's department heads. We're in the home of the school director which is adjacent to the school and the only good thing about this party is it will be over very quickly.

So as I maneuver my way through them with hors d'oeuvres I hear snippets of conversations. "I love teaching English". "The hotel is nice". "Wasn't the weather beautiful today"? And I just want to yell out out to these nice people, "Hey, I just got cast as Blind Ed the pirate in the sequel to the award winning porn film, Pirates!" But of course I didn't.

Yes, friends, I got the part. I was called on Saturday morning by the casting director to tell me they loved me, they talked about me all day Friday, and the producer will be calling me soon to work out the details. It shoots in March.

So I did a little research on the film, went to the Pirates website, and even found a trailer for Pirates II on line. It really is a fun trailer. Here is a link to it. (The trailer is not pornographic but there are other images on the page some might find dis-tasteful. So please, only go if you are over 18 and can handle that sort of stuff)

The trailer is an animated sequence of a pirate ship on the high seas during a raging storm under a full moon. We get closer and closer and then we move through the ship to see a skeleton pirate at the wheel. Very nice.

Pirates One has won over 40 awards in the adult film industry and is one of the highest selling titles of all time.

At least if I'm gonna do porn, I'm doing high-class porn.

Look at me, in Los Angeles less than two years and I've already been in a feature film at Sundance, modeled for Playboy and now a porn film. My career is really looking up!

All those classes and workshops are starting to pay off.

Too bad its not a SAG film. I could get my card with this one. Oh, well.

More details and fun stories from the set to follow. I'm sure it is going to be a blast.

My own private Boogie Nights.

2008-02-08T15:00:00.000-08:00

Before I get into the audition I just did at a San Fernando Valley porn studio, let me tell you about the party I worked at last night, The Black Eyed Pea's Peapod Foundation Gala. It was a star studded event at the Apollo Theatre in Hollywood. I was working the VIP buffet, which was only for about 300 of the 900 invited guests. I saw Dennis Haysbert, one of my favorite characters on the series, 24. And the funniest moment was when Dennis bent over to say hello to Dr. Ruth, who came up to his belly button, or just about. He really had to bend over. Laurence Fishburne was there. And of course the Black Eyed Peas put on a show. And many friends and guests appeared on stage with them. When I got a chance to peek at the stage, I saw the BEP joined by Slash, Snoop Dog, and MC Hammer. It was a really hard party because of all the people in such a small space. When I was sent home at 1AM, (they cut the early people to save on OT) the band was still playing. I was happy to go, I didn't want to be there till 4AM. I had an audition today!

So the audition was for a sequel to a very popular porn film called Pirates. The box cover is a Pirates of the Caribbean knock-off. What separates this porn film from most are the high production values and a story. Now I haven't seen the film, but from what I read, it is still a very popular title and continues to sell well. In fact, the US DVD distributor is the same company the distributed Cup Of My Blood, the feature I produced. I'm sure MTI had more success with Pirates than with Cup.

Anyway, I saw the audition notice on Craig's List, and the reason I responded was because it said there was no nudity and no sex in these scenes, it paid, and the character was a blind pirate. I love playing pirates! So I submit a head shot and I get an email back that they would like to see me, and I am given an audition time and sent the sides. Sides are the pages from the script for that character that you have to read at the audition.

The scene I have to read is so funny I can't believe it. It is really funny and well written. Basically, they're auctioning off women, and the blind pirate asks the auctioneer to describe one particular beauty. Its really funny, and I was going to play it over the top.

So I drive out to Van Nuys, in the valley, home of the porn industry, and go to a nondescript cinder block building on a nondescript street off the 405.

There are a half dozen other guys standing out front going over sides. I park and check in with the CD (casting director), and ask to use the bathroom. The first thing I see in the lobby are posters for Pirate on the walls, and other titles they have produced.

To get to the bathroom I walk past the warehouse where thousands of DVD's are waiting to be shipped. The bathroom is covered with centerfolds and posters and stacks of porn in the stall.

I slip into my pirate costume. Head scarf, eye patch, and earring. I have a cane, and I'm wearing a black sleeveless tee, black jeans, and my pointy renaissance faire shoes.

The fun thing about going into an audition in costume and character like that is it can really mess with the minds of the other guys auditioning.

The CD is very amused. After a few minutes he calls three of us up stairs to where the readings are going on. Now I don't want to jinx myself, but judging from what I heard, I was not in the company of the best actors in Hollywood, or even Van Nuys.

Anyway, the guy before me is also reading for the blind pirate character. The door was open so I could hear him. He was "reading", and he spoke the text like some one reading an IRS tax form. It was so flat and boring I couldn't help but be buoyed by hearing him.

I'm next. I have the eye patch over my dark sunglasses, and I crash into the wall like I can't see on my way into the room.

Well, I tore into the scene and chewed on it like nobodies business. I gave it my all; pirate voice, pirate manner, and pirate fire.

Whatever happens, it was a good story. It will be even better if they hire me! Almost as good a story as my audition at the Scientology Celebrity Center soon after I moved to LA. They didn't hire me.

You can be sure if I am cast as the blind pirate, you will read about it here. Have a great weekend!

Super (FAT) Tuesday

2008-02-06T11:22:00.000-08:00

Since I couldn't be in New Orleans partying my ass off on Mardi Gras, I did the next best thing. I voted in a monumental democratic primary.

Yesterday Kris and I went to vote first thing in the morning. Our polling place is a homeless shelter in the quickly gentrifying skid row area of downtown Los Angeles. We live about five minutes, by car from there. The building is very new and very nice. We have voted there several times since we moved here.

Outside the mission, scores of homeless people and all their belongings were scattered on the street around the mission. It was like they were kicked out for the day to allow the building to be a polling place. Many of the homeless we saw were women and African-Americans. I doubt many of them were voting. Are they aware of the changes taking place around them.

There is a new construction going up right next to the mission, looks like a condo building.

This area is changing quickly.

America is changing quickly, too. Yesterday my choice for democratic nominee for President was a woman and an African-American male. Wow. That is huge. One of them will be the next President of the United States. That is so cool.

I voted for Barack Obama. I like him, and I like his message of change. I like how he is firing up younger Americans and getting them to take an interest in our country. I like that when he speaks, he doesn't look like he is just reading a speech. I would like to see the race barrier in the oval office ended.

If Hillary is nominated, I would vote for her. I would also like to see the gender barrier in the oval office ended. But as much as I would love to see a female president, I don't think Hillary is the right woman. I think she brings too much baggage with her. And I can't ever forget she voted for the war in Iraq. And now she says she didn't think Bush would do what he did? She trusted him? What kind of judgment is that? And then she continued to vote to fund the war. And besides, in a country of 300 million people, is the gene pool so limited that only Bushes or Clintons are fit to run for president? Give me a break. I thought we got rid of monarchies a few centuries ago?

It hit me yesterday - the Bushies will get away with MURDER.

It seems like the Bushies didn't count on such a backlash to the last seven years of their un-democratic rule, but they did, in effect, create the backlash against them. They probably thought they could steal two presidential elections, rape and pillage Iraq, plunder the US treasury and steal all they wanted, destroy everything they don't like, continue to sow fear and hatred, line the supreme court with their people, enrich their pockets, trash the constitution, spy on American citizens, destroy the middle class and then come back and do it again.

Well, I'm glad to say that is not going to happen.

Their crimes, which will go unpunished (remember Scooter Libby), have been so egregious, that the backlash they have created will also be remarkable! A democrat for President! A woman or a black man!

The problem is, unfortunately, that they are going to have the last laugh. Because on Jan 20, 2009, when the new President is sworn in, they will slither away, and all the damage they have created will have to be cleaned up by someone else. They will just walk away and not be held accountable or responsible for the mess they made. Mark my words, they will get away with it, and then they will blame it all on the Democrats. Somehow, they will make all their believers believe it was not their fault and the Dem's caused it all. They are sneaky that way.

If that is how it is going to be, then hopefully, whoever the next president is, they will be just as crafty and smart and cunning and make such bold changes so America moves as quickly as possible toward a more forward thinking, prosperous and equitable new era.

We are a diverse country. There is no way Americans can ever all agree on one thing. But a majority of Americans agree that change is needed; that the occupation of Iraq must end, that jobs need to be created, that tax cuts for the rich are a sham, that a 3000 mile fence along the southern border is a joke. I'm glad to predict that change is a coming. Democrats make a lot of mistakes, too. Look at the ridiculous Michigan and Florida primaries? Look at the mess they are creating with delegates and super-delegates? They are often only thinking of their own gain as well. But at least they are not as greedy as the people who have run the country for the last seven years. Maybe that is the only difference. Still, it is a huge one. Its gonna be a bumpy ride.

A List Party

2008-02-04T23:42:00.000-08:00

It's about time I got to work a fun celebrity party. And work I did! The homes in the Hollywood Hills are quite lovely, until you have to carry lots of dishes up and down three flights of steps hundreds of times a night!

Saturday I worked a birthday party for a talent agent at a major agency. There were a lot of A-list talent there. We were told before the party to give great service, remain invisible, and don't give out any head shots. "What about scripts" I asked?

Some of the guests I served, who ate appetizers off my tray, included Laura Linney, (so sweet) Jennifer Aniston (very pretty, nice shoes) Orlando Bloom, Natalie Portman, Christina Ricci, Rachel McAdams and Jason Bateman.

A pretty nice gathering, a fun party, lots of cigarettes, and everyone exclaimed how bad they were being for eating anything other than carrot sticks. When the cake came out, you could just see them making plans for extra personal training sessions on Monday with every bite.

There was a psychic at the party, and all I could think of was that it should have been Kris. I can't wait till Kris is psychic to the stars, and reading all these people! How fun. I kept emailing Kris all night with updates...Jen's shoes are marvelous...Natalie is getting a reading...the cake is delicious.

Today I called the party planner who produced the party and sent her some info on Kris. I want Kris to be "the" clairvoyant to the stars! I want her to be at these parties. I've said it before, and its no joke, I want to be a kept man, and live in the manner to which I want to be accustomed. I know Kris wants that too, so its all good.

By the end of the night, after ten hours of going up and down those stairs, I was exhausted. I didn't get home till after 3am, and didn't get enough sleep. I was so excited - it was Super Bowl Sunday!

That is another story for another day.

Who is you favorite celebrity?

Feb.1, 2008 - The Month In Review

2008-02-01T18:21:00.000-08:00

Hello Reader,

I am starting a new feature here on It's Okay called The Month In Review. On the first of every month I will write about the highlights of the previous month. Its a way to keep friends near and far current on what I'm doing.

I used to send an email out to a select group of people called Noel's News that did the same thing, but really, who wants to have someone else's life forced on them every month?

So my idea now is to write it here for everyone to read if they want. I will still send a link to the email list, for awhile at least, but this way if they don't want to read it, they don't have to come here and read it. Easy, peazy, not too sleazy!

So, January 2008 was a really fantastic month. I had a fun job working at an art gallery in Santa Monica.

Next, I found out the photo I shot for Playboy back in August of last year was finally in print, in the February issue of Playboy. You can see the photo HERE. If you read Playboy, its on page 20. No, I'm not the blond. Truth is you can hardly tell its me, but it was still fun to do, and how many men can say they were in Playboy!

I had many many commercial auditions and booked my first national commercial. It was for Civilization:Revolution, an interactive video game. Their new website will have three very funny commercials featuring characters from history. I play Abe Lincoln in two of them. Honest, I do. After the website launches they will cut thirty second spots that will air on TV. Our photos will also be used on the box art for the game. Very fun.

We had our first Bikini Movie Review party and had a blast hanging out with everyone who made it. The party was a thank you to everyone who has helped us create the site and a kick off for the growth we see for 2008.
Our friend, Steve Gibons was here from Chicago. Steve writes most of the music for Bikini Movie Review and it was great he was here to celebrate with us.

In addition to all that, I worked as a cater waiter most weekends. I also had two verbal altercations/fights with strangers and co-workers - in one night! That was strangely fun. A great release.

So here we are already in February. Kris (my wife, the supremely talented Kris Cahill)has proclaimed February the month of high havingness. What that means is we are going to allow the energy of havingness into our lives. We are going to "have" a lot. Not by worrying, or being in survival, but by letting it come to us. Alright, sounds good to me.

I hope you had a great January too. I hope you had a lot of fun and exciting work and a lot of good times. And I hope February will bring you much havingness also.

I'll write more in my daily posts, but this wraps up the first Month In Review.

Enjoy the photos!

Peace.

An Actor's Life #1

2008-01-25T12:26:00.000-08:00

So a few days ago I told you I got a call back for the last project I expected to get called back for - playing Abe Lincoln doing a magic act with Catherine the Great. The call back was fun, I played around, the director gave me different things to try and I went with it, had a good time.

Then, because of the rain, I spent two hours driving from the valley to Santa Monica to go to work as a waiter. Within 15 minutes of going from the kitchen tent to the party area I was soaked. Good times.

I'm leaving out the story of the two fights I was in that night because I want to write about that seperately. More about that later.

Yesterday morning I go to an audition. Kris goes with me and we are going to go shopping afterwards. The parking lot at the Whole Foods in West Hollywood is packed, so Kris gets out and walks to the store and I navigate the parking lot. I finally park and I'm about to go into the store and I get a call from my agent. She sounds so excited. I already know what she is going to tell me.

"Are you sitting down?" she asks. That was kind of funny. "You were so surprised to get the call back for the Abe Lincoln role - and they just booked you!" A booking means you got the job. I was very happy, I still am. She gives me a few details, more coming later, and we are both very happy I got booked. I get off the phone and enter the store to find Kris and tell her the good news. Of course, being me, I can't just walk up to her and say " Honey, guess what, I just boked the Abe Lincoln gig!" No, I have to be funny. So I see her, and I walk up to her all stiff and formal and using a very deep Abe like voice I ask her if she knows how to get to the White House. She is looking at me quizically, like what is he doing and why and I have to find the canned tomato aisle. So she asks why I want to go to the White House, and I say I am the 16th President of the United States.

Little did I know that there was a man observing me and had a very concerned look on his face, like, who is this guy and is he going to hurt her? I can't see him, my back is to him. Soon Kris puts two and two together and screams out - "You got the job!" and gives me a high five. Kris could see the guy looked relieved to see she knew me. It was pretty funny. We were hugging and jumping in the cosmetic aisle at Whole Foods. I wonder how many actors get booked on jobs while shopping. I'll bet quite a few.

Of course I have a few questions, as any actor will try to interpret the scene. First, it is very good that after over 100 auditions and look sees and call backs, I finally booked a job. That will make my agent happy and she will continue to send me out. But of all the jobs I book, why does it have to be for the role of a very strange looking man? What does that mean? Now I really have a lot of respect for Lincoln, he seems like a really brilliant and stand up guy. But face it, but a beard and a stove top hat on anyone and they'll look like Lincoln.

But in reality, I know it was because I could goof around at the audition and play, and the director saw I could take direction well, and go with what he asked, have fun, and still keep a sort of formal stiffness to my Abe character. So to answer my own question, it's not that I look like Abe, it's that I was able to create a charming Abe like character that fit the director's own idea of what he wanted for this fun spot.

The project is for a video game called Civilization:Revolution, who are promoting their launch onto the next generation of game consoles. So in one of these very clever spots, Abe is doing a magic act with Catherine the Great, and in another, he insults Napoleon on a Jerry Springer type show. Very funny stuff.

My highest budget commercial job and hopefully one that will be seen by millions! And by high budget I mean I don't have to bring my own wardrobe and do my own make-up. I'm sure there will be a make-up person. I may even have my own dressing room. Oh, I can only hope. And a bowl of green M&M's please. Only green. Abe doesn't like red.

I'll include a photo of me as Abe in a follow up post next week.

Now I have to rush off and be a waiter. Later.

Playboy Photo

2008-01-22T23:04:00.001-08:00

Oh BTW, I am in the February issue of Playboy magazine, page 20, but I caution you don't go out and buy it just for me. I'm only in one photo, and if you don't know me you wouldn't know it was me. In fact, here is the photo I am in, and if you want to read more about Chicago divorce attorney Corrie Fetman, click HERE to go to the Playboy website and read her column. Warning, it is the Playboy website.

Funny story: Last Friday I discovered that the photo was in the February issue and I went out to buy one on my way to an audition. After the audition, I was a few blocks from the office of a casting director I know, who I took a workshop with last year. His name is Dean Fronk of Pemrick/Fronk Casting. He always said to stay in touch, and stop by and see him when we are in the neighborhood. So I did.

I take the elevator to the Penthouse Suite, go to the reception desk, where there were not one, but two receptionists. This was a nice high-end casting office. Not like the dinky offices and photo studios I am used to. Ooh, nice.

To my surprise, I see a copy of Playboy on the desk next to the male receptionist. (Playboy in the Penthouse?) How strange, I thought. I haven't seen a copy of Playboy sitting out, other than at a traditional men's barbershop, in thirty years. And now, the one time I am in Playboy, here it is. So when the young male receptionist gets off the phone, and I am waiting to see Dean, I point to the Playboy and say, "I'm on page 20". It takes him a second to process what I mean, then he takes the magazine and turns to page 20 and says, "Hey, there you are!", just as Dean walks out to say hello. Very nicely timed, I must say. Dean was on his way out and so invited me to ride the elevator down with him. We chat, I tell him an audition horror story from last week, and he says good bye and invites me to stay in touch. Truely one of the nicest CD's I've met in LA.

Yeah, that's me, sitting and talking to Corrie. No, I'm not a divorcing business man, I just play one in Playboy! And no, I wasn't there for Corrie's nude shots.

No news and bad news...

2008-01-22T22:25:00.000-08:00

No news on the call back yet. Those who have been following the story know that I was told I would hear something on Tuesday. That's today. It's now 10:28PM. I don't think I'm going to hear tonight. Fuck. You know how much energy I put into waiting?

The phone did ring tonight. No, it wasn't Heath Ledger, he didn't call me. He won't be making any more phone calls this lifetime.
No, it was my agent, telling me I got a call back for one of the auditions I did last week. The last one I would have suspected getting a call back for, the one where I portray Abe Lincoln doing a magic act with Catherine the Great!

What a crazy life this is. So I just went and bushed up on my Abe Lincoln history. Pretty interesting guy, really.

Okay, I just went and wrote a long three page handwritten blog entry, just cause I like to write. But now I'm too tired to type the whole thing. I'll do it tomorrow, before I go to the call back, and before I go to work as a waiter for a cocktail party for 1500 in Santa Monica. Fuck. That will be fun!

So I go to bed not knowing the answer, and in my heart knowing the answer.

Reject the rejection!

7 Days A Weak!

2008-01-21T13:05:00.000-08:00

I'm glad today is a bank holiday. I don't feel guilty for not getting up and going to work. In fact, I'm still tired from working seven days last week. For a guy who only has a part-time job, (or three of them) I sure work a lot.

Last week was crazy, and I loved every minute of it.

I was taking a day off last Monday when I get a text message from my agent to hurry up and go to an audition in North Hollywood, in the valley. I was just about to go to the club, but instead detoured my schedule, found the sides (script) for the audition online, and raced over to N. Hollywood, learning the text while driving on the 101.

Tuesday I had one audition. I also learned I was called back for the creature-feature movie I mentioned a few posts ago. A call back, for those who don't know, means they saw a lot of actors for the project, and they whittled it down to a few choices for each role. In this case, the casting director said. "...we received 2500 photo submissions, of those we called in 120 actors to read, and of those we are calling back 21".

Already when an actor hears those numbers, it is really validating to have made the short list. Yeah!

So now I have until Saturday to prepare for the call back. Meanwhile, everyday I get more and more audition calls for the week.

I go to two on Wednesday, as well as a head shot session with a photographer. I need new head shots. I recently changed my hair style and need new head shots to reflect that.

On Thursday I have three commercial auditions, and I spent all day driving from downtown to Santa Monica to Hollywood and back to Santa Monica and then back downtown. About 75 miles all day.

I'm feeling like a working actor, even though all this driving around and auditioning is costing me a lot of money and I'm not getting paid. Each audition is like a job interview. I interview for a new job about 100 - 150 times a year. I get very few jobs, right now, but it is the most fun game in the world.

By Friday night, after eight auditions all week, I really have to concentrate on the call back. I have my wardrobe picked, I get my props set up, and I rehearse my lines for any of the ten scenes I may or may not read.

The call back was a lot of fun, and the 21 of us there are all excited and very friendly, even those competing for the same role. I look around the room of twenty-somethings, as six of the seven roles are for that age group, and I see only one other guy there for the same role as me. I recognize him from other auditions. We both have salt and pepper hair, both around the same age and height. 50/50 odds, I like that. He doesn't acknowledge me as he walks by.

My goal going into the audition was to psyche out the competition. I was really decked out like I imagined the character to be and wanted to instill doubt and fear into the competition. I think it worked. Lord knows it has worked on me in the past, only this time, I'm taking charge.

They call actors in by groups to see how they look and work together. For my role, they call the other actor in first, and he reads a few times, in a few configurations, and then I read in a few configurations. Then he reads another scene, and then he is sent home. I'm the last man standing, or maybe not?

The thing about casting, and I have been on both sides now, is you never really know what is going on and what they are thinking. I try not to think about it. I get called in a couple more times, and then I wait.

One wrinkle in the plan is I am scheduled for a party (my day job) on Saturday night and I am going to be late.

I try not to think about this either. I arranged to be late with a very nice and understanding party manager, but the longer I wait in the hallway, not being called in, the more distracting it is.

Finally, after waiting about 45 minutes, I am told I can leave. Only the twenty-somethings are left. Have they made up their minds about my character? Was I the last man standing, or was someone else being considered who wasn't there yet or didn't even need to show up? See how actors can overthink things and try to figure out the unfigureoutable?

Everything works out as planned, I get to the party late, but not so late that it messes anyone up.

During the party I get an email (on my new pretentious iPhone) from the casting director. It is to everyone thanking us for coming out and saying we all deserved to be there. Decisions will be made on Tuesday. Have a nice week-end. Agh! I have to wait three days? That is like an eternity to an actor waiting to hear something. Okay, just focus on work and watching the playoffs tomorrow.

The party goes very late and I don't get home until two AM and my next party is a luncheon Sunday morning and I have to be in Santa Monica at 8:30AM. So with little sleep, and very tired, I get up at 7, leave at 7:45 and am in Santa Monica at 8:15, sitting in front of the house, watching early morning walkers, joggers and bicyclists move up and down the curving street over looking the hills and valleys of the Santa Monica mountain range, Pacific Pallisades neighborhood, and the ocean. Not a bad way to start the day.

The party goes fine and I am home, tired and a bit beat, at around 6PM. I just want to crash on the couch and watch the last quarter of the GB/NYG game. I'm so sorry Green Bay doesn't win. NE/GB would have been an awesome Superbowl. Okay, just my opinion. I still want to watch it and see New England go all the way to an undefeated season and a Superbowl victory. That will be one for the records!

So anyway, you see why I'm tired today?

What a week. And as I sit and wait for the news tomorrow, and as I write this, I just got an email from my agent that I have an audition tomorrow. So it goes. I'm a working actor in Hollywood. And life is good.

I'll let you know what happens with the movie tomorrow, or as soon as I hear.

Noel

PS - see why I don't write everyday? I go on and on and on. It takes too long. Maybe someday I will write a book. It's one of my goals.

incontrovertible ®

2008-01-13T21:02:00.000-08:00

Pictured above is incontrovertible ® , a piece of art by Xavier Cazares Cortez. Xavier is one of the three artists whose work is now hanging at the Patricia Correia Gallery in Bergamont Station, Santa Monica, CA. I was working as an art installer at the gallery last week. Xavier installed his show himself, I was only there to assist. The other two artists dropped off their work and I hung it, per Patricia's directions. That's what art installers do.

The opening was last night. In French, that would be a Vernissage. Vernissages are very fun. Ils sont tres chouette. Openings are also a lot of fun. You meet fun people. You have lots of laughs. I went to lots of Vernissages in Paris when I lived there. I miss Paris. I want to go back more often. We are going in November for Kris' Birthday. Yeah!

I had to miss the opening because I had to go to my other job, being a cater-waiter. I read about it in the paper though. It sounds like it was crazy. The LA Weekly said over 3000 people showed up and traffic was backed up all the way to the freeway at the Cloverfield exit. Lots of star sighting, lots of fun. Good times. I had to miss it. I had to miss the after party. I had to miss hanging out with my friends. F*ck'g day jobs.

I want to be free to party and go to cool places and hang out with cool people like me. Arghhh. I want to be in the jet set. Flying off to Sundance for the weekend. Attend an opening of a friend's show in Rome for the day. Attend a protest march in Manhattan, then go to Elaine's for drinks. That's what I want to do.

Last night, instead of being at the Vernissage, I worked a Bat Mitzvah. I have a lot to say about working as a cater-waiter at parties. I ranted and went on for 1/2 hour this morning to Kris when she asked how my night was. If I tried to recount the whole night again, here in this blog, right now, I'd still be writing in an hour, and frankly I don't want to work so hard tonight. I'm tired. I worked my ass off this week. I want to go watch some football. I recorded some of the playoff games yesterday and today, and I'm gonna go watch some. Even though I already know the outcome of the games, I can speed through it and just watch the cool parts. Maybe tomorrow I'll do my patented Waitergonebad® rant on being a waiter. It's fun.

And you know, for how hard I worked, I really got very little for it. Not as much as I think I'm worth, at least. And not that I blame the people I work for. it's not entirely their fault. It's America, baby.

In case you didn't know it, we are in a recession in America. Stagnant wages is one proof of a recession. I've said for years how crazy it is that in 1989 when I was a cater-waiter in New York City I made $16 dollars an hour plus tips. At the time, I was happy because the same job in Chicago paid only 10 -12 dollars an hour. But my rent in 1989, in Manhattan, was $425 a month. I shared a railroad apartment in Hell's Kitchen with my friend Chris. Now, I'm a cater waiter in Los Angeles, in 2008, and I still make $16 dollars an hour plus tips. Look at how the salary has stood still for 19 years. In Los Angeles, today, our rent is $2000 a month. I make the same amount of money but my rent has increased almost 400%. Am I the only person who is bothered by that? Hello! Is this microphone on!!!!!

Oh, yeah, back to incontrovertible ®. Xavier gave me the piece at the end of the day, when he was installing his show. It was midnight. I was going home. I'd been working for 12 hours. Xavier was still working. He asked me if I wanted a piece of art and gave me a choice of five small pieces he makes. I chose incontrovertible® because it reminded me that my eyes are changing. It reminded me that a few months ago I visited the eye doctor and got a new prescription for glass lenses, but I haven't been able to afford getting the new glasses. Yeah, $16 dollars an hour doesn't go very far these days.

Xavier stenciled my name on the back and wrote, "The work of art in the age of the mechanical reproduction" He initialed it. It is # 7/250.

I like the word incontrovertible. It means:

incontrovertible |inˌkäntrəˈvərtəbəl| adjective not able to be denied or disputed : incontrovertible proof.

Proof of what, you ask? Yes, indeed.

Noel

Check out www.bikinimoviereview.com Many are. Join the crowd.

What a week!

2008-01-12T08:33:00.000-08:00

I worked at an art gallery all week in Santa Monica. 41 hours in 4 days, so there was no time to write. Fun work, being an "installer", hanging around art and artists all day. Beats clearing dishes and bussing tables at a Bat Mitzva. Oh, yeah, I forgot, that's tonights job.

Anyway, I wasn't around all week, so I couldn't write. When I did get home, about midnight, I had to do all my other chores, go through the audition break downs and submit myself for future work. The gallery job was a blessing, but I also missed three auditions and my agent is probably pissed. Oh well, when she pays my rent I won't have to take a day job.

I have an audition this morning in a few minutes, so I gotta run. Its for a creature-feature. You know, car breaks down in the desert, monster comes at night to kill, the survivors have to figure out how to stay alive. I'd love to do a film like that. I'll let you know.

I never heard back from the hosting job for the food pilot. Shit, I would have loved that one. You can't get too attached to anything, you know? The actor's life is funny. Sure you want every job you audition for, but you know you won't get it. You're happy for the ones you do get, and the rest you just have to let go.

GLPNTmz#sdkFop*ritunvDdf&Vnld@iftunZweqrnXgensssssss !!!!! That was the sound of me letting go!

What do you have to let go of?

Thanks for your comments! I carry the letter with me.

Hurry up and be successful!

2008-01-06T13:13:00.000-08:00

Letter to myself on this Sunday in January, 2008:

Dear Noel,

How are you? How was work last night as a waiter? It sucked didn't it? Yeah, I feel ya. So if you hate it so much, why don't you do something about it? Stop talking and start walking, no running, towards the life you want.

Why don't you get off you arse and change your life? Concentrate all your powers and laser beam the forces of life and creative energy to where you want them. Send out lightening bolts of intention to the places they need to go most.

You know what you want and what you have to do. See it happening and let the seeing guide you to the making it happen.

The car is an amazing machine. Almost effortlessly you turn a small key, you push a pedal with your foot, and turn a wheel with one hand, and you can travel thousands of miles. That is your life. Now imagine the car won't start, the key won't turn, nothing happens when you push the pedal. It's not running, and you have to push the car to a repair shop. How's that going for you? Pushing the car up hill? Not very easy, is it? So stop being in effort and just turn the key and point all your intentions in the right direction.

Or, just sit back and pretend it will go on its own and go to work as a waiter and be in pain.

What do you want to do, let things get so bad that you can't see the future? Or change things now so you can say you almost let things go too far but at the last minute found the courage to have the success you deserve? Which one sounds better on Entertainment Tonight? The loser story or the winner story? I think you know. I know you can do it.

Hey, I don't care about writer strikes and bad economic times, successful people will always have success no matter what is going on. That is what you have to be now. A successful person in successful times.

I'm only writing this to you because I know what you are going through. I know things look bleak sometimes, and I know you like that, being on the dark side. But now it's time to see the light.

This little pep talk sounds kind of like Kris doesn't it? She is the positive light in your life, isn't she? Well, she's there for you and really wants you to succeed too! So do it for you!

Print this out and keep it in your wallet so you don't forget it. I know you can do it.

Let me know how this goes for you. Write soon,

Noel

Coffee In Bed

2008-01-05T09:09:00.000-08:00

Kris and I are drinking coffee and tea in bed. Its a thing we started a few months ago that we have made a daily ritual. The first one up puts on the water, makes the coffee and tea, and brings it to the other - in bed. It's like that old game you play with fortune cookies; add " in bed" after reading the fortune. "I'd like a cup of coffee please, in bed!"

Coffee in bed is a lot of fun. I thought I might have spilled some coffee by now, but I haven't. We sit up, we sip, we talk. We play pleasant music in the background. A calming cup of coffee. Ah, how I love coffee. Did you know coffee makes you smart?

We used to get up and drink our coffee and tea, and we would go straight to the computer and start checking email and working. That was okay, and some days I still have to do that, if I have to go to work early. But most days now we start like this, a little John and Yoko moment, a little togetherness moment, a little peace and quiet before the hustle and the bustle.

Today Kris got up first. I was groggy. I was still thinking about my dreams. I was still thinking about the movie we saw last night (Mira Nair's The Namesake - Three Pears on the Bikini Movie Review). I heard all the familiar morning sounds; water running into the tea pot, electric igniter turning the flame on on the range, flame going on, cups being washed. Then I smelled the coffee as the steaming water hit the grinds in my French press carafe.

Then Kris brings me a cup of coffee. I sit up, we get the pillows all situated just right. Lately we've also started reading blog entries to each other. Usually Kris reads me her blog entry from the day before and all the comments she gets. She thinks I don't read her blog because I'm so busy, but really its because I like her to read it to me in bed.

We are our small daily rituals. What are some of your small daily rituals? How many of them can you do in bed?

2008 - Day 2 - Holidays are over!

2008-01-02T19:26:00.000-08:00

Thank god the holidays are over. I'm tired of all this forced good cheer and peace and love and shit. Let's get back to normal, and quick.

So anyway, I just have a few minutes, I have to get back to work. I have an audition on Friday for a new TV show, and I have to write my own audition. I have to write and host a segment of this new TV show and I have to make it interesting and fabulous! I'm looking forward to it though, because if there was anything I would be perfect for, the host position on this show would be it.

I don't want to go into to many details yet, but its a "how to" kind of show all about food. I'm going to write about something I know; how salmon gets canned. You see I worked in a salmon cannery for two summers when I was younger, so I know all about it. Contrary to popular belief, they don't just put open cans in the water and wait for the salmon to swim into them. No, canneries wait till the fish are caught and brought there. Then the fun begins.

Canneries are really dangerous places. Its cold, its wet, there are sharp knives and dangerous machines everywhere. The cement floors are wet and covered with fish slime, oil and guts. People work long hours. They are tired and cranky. They throw fish guts at each other and make bad jokes. Oh, and the coffee sucks.

12 hours of gutting fish on the slime line is a horrendous job. Its repetitive and hard on the body. You are always cold as the temperature inside has to be kept low to maintain the product. It's wet; there is water spraying everywhere. Standing on a cement floor in rubber boots, up to your ankles in fish guts, wearing a rain slick over the warmest clothes you have, you really can start to hate fish. I bet the fish would hate us more though, if they were still alive and were capable of such thoughts. Anyway, when the salmon are running and the cannery is in full operation, it can be a very exciting place. Everyone is working, everyone is partying, and everyone is thinking about what they'll do when the season is over and they have some money.

After my second year in the cannery, after 56 straight days of work, after putting in 110 to 115 hours on the clock each week, I was able to go to Paris and live for about six months on the money I made in 9 weeks. Not a bad trade-off.

When gutting a fish, you stick a knife in its belly and rip up from one end to the other. Then, spreading its fleshy sides, remove the internal organs from esophagus to anus. Sometimes I found interesting things they ate recently, like rocks and stones, but I once found a coin inside a fish. I don't remember what happened to it. I also remember seeing fish with bear claw marks on them. They escaped the bear, but ran into a net. Oh, well.

Fish destined to be sold fresh or fresh frozen had to be treated delicately to maintain their integrity, and therefore, the highest price.

Fish destined for the cannery are treated with less care, and they are sent to machines to be headed, gutted, finned and prepped for canning. The name of the machine that did all that in one smooth flow was the "Chink". Not very PC now a days, but it harkens back to another time, to the beginning of the cannery era, when most of the workers were Chinese laborers. I found a picture of a cannery in operation in 1908, and the caption read, "Iron Chink at work..." In 1984, it was still called the Chink. Dangerous machine that one. I saw a guy stick his hand in too far to retrieve a fish and get his arm broken. He was trying to stop a fish from clogging the works. Bad decision, made because he was over tired and not thinking clearly. He was lucky in one respect; after getting back from the hospital with his arm in a cast, the cannery found a soft dry cushy job for him for the rest of the season. Better than paying unemployment for them, I guess.

Anyway, after the fish are prepped, they get chopped up and put in cans, skin bones and all. The chopped fish are sent down to the "piano bar", that's a line where the chopped fish are spread out nice and evenly so they fall evenly into the cans. The workers on the "piano bar" quickly spread the flesh with both hands as it goes down a conveyor, and it kind of looks like they are playing a key board, hence the name, the piano bar. I subbed on that line a little, though it was mostly women.

After the cans are filled and before they are sealed, they go down another line where workers, again mostly women, remove flesh from the overfilled cans and put flesh in the lighter cans. A can too full may not seal properly, and a can too light won't weigh enough.

The filled cans are then sealed, and sent to the oven where they are baked for 90 - 120 minutes at a high temperature. This will kill all bacteria, and also soften the bones and skins and makes them edible. Salmon is a unique fish in that there are not too many bones, they can be eaten, and when the consumer opens the can it has a pleasant look to it.

So, that's cannery 101 in a nutshell.

Anyway, I got to go write a fish story, and you have to go back to whatever it is you do. What do you do anyway?

If you ever worked at a cannery, write me and tell me about it.

Happy New year 2008

2008-01-01T12:44:00.000-08:00

Hi World:

Well, after almost six months of inactivity on this blog, welcome to 2008. I sure am glad to have a new year ahead of me. 2007 was great, but 2008 will be even greater. I just know it.

2007 was my first full year, end to end, in Los Angeles. I really like living here, even with all the challenges. I love the potential and the opportunity that exists around every corner.

2008 will be the year my new project, the one I said I would tell you about six months ago, will really take off. In 2007, Kris and I started Bikini Movie Review, a fun movie review and comedy website featuring women in bikinis reading movie reviews and just having a lot of fun. Please check it out and pass it on to your friends.

2008 is an election year. I'm looking forward to participating in the democratic process of voting and electing a new president.

2008 will be the year I book a television show guest star spot, a national commercial, and another feature film role. That's what I want, that's what I'm going to have.

2008 will be the year I play more music.

2008 will be the year I work even harder.

2008 will be the year I get out of debt.

2008 will be the year I write in this blog everyday.

I hope you have a great 2008 and let me know what you want and if you get it.

Peace.

Noel

A new project is brewing!

2007-07-04T16:48:00.000-07:00

In a few weeks I'll be able to share with you a new project I have been working on for the last few months. I'm keeping it very hush-hush and top secret so the big launch will be a surprise, but I can say it is very exciting and I am having a great time putting it together.

Earlier I wrote about losing weight and getting fit and all that, but one of the unexpected results of all that exercise and moving my body around was a clearing of the energy surrounding my creativity. Maybe because I have more energy, I have more energy to create. Or maybe my creativity was stirred from its slumber. I am writing and creating more than I have in years.

In a few weeks I'll share it with you.

Do you think you're free?

2007-07-04T16:25:00.000-07:00

Happy July 4th, 2007. Independence Day! Home of the free and land of the brave. A lot has changed since 1776, though to hear some people speak, that shouldn't have any bearing on how we interpret the constitution and the laws of this great land.

Today I just want to ask you, are you free? Do you live your life the way you want? Always and at all times?

Do you make decisions based on what you want? Or do external forces and what others want for you influence you choices? Because that to me is the essence of freedom.

There is no right or wrong. I just think today is a good day to think about these things and see if any adjustments can be made to our lives to get closer to the ideal of freedom.

So many people give lip service to freedom. A dark cloud hangs over freedom these days, and until we start living free lives, that cloud will cover us all until it's too dark and too strong to ever recover from.

Ashley Marriott's Burn and Firm

2007-07-04T16:09:00.000-07:00

As I wrote about in previous blog entries, earlier this year I was selected to participate in a workout program, Ashley Marriott's Burn and Firm. In exchange for my testimonial, my before and after pictures, and my consent to appear on the eventual DVD program, I received 12 weeks of free fitness training with Ashley.

It was something I really wanted to do on my own; work out and lose a few pounds, but I knew I never would. For me it's easier to sit at the computer and work for 12 hours than get up and workout for an hour. So I challenged myself, and soon I was hooked on working out. I was going to class six times a week. A lot of it had to do with Ashley, who is so motivating and enthusiastic it was infectious. But this is old ground, I've covered all this before.

Here are the results. If you visited here earlier, you probably saw the before and after pictures, but I have taken them down. I felt silly having them up here. All my friends have seen them already, so I'd rather not have them up on the web for eternity.

Here are the results of my 12 week fitness program with Burn and Firm by Ashley Marriott. Pounds lost: 19. Inches lost: 15 1/2. Waist before: 36 1/2. Waist after: 31. Bodyfat before: 21%. Body Fat After: 12 1/2%.

In the two months since the training ended I continue to workout on my own and lost a few more pounds. It is now easy to get up and go to the club. Working out is not a chore, but a fun challenge.

If you want a fun workout that really delivers results, either move to Los Angeles and hire Ashley Marriott as your personal trainer, or buy her Burn and Firm DVD when it comes out. Thanks, Ashley!

A picture is worth 1000 words...

2007-04-21T13:14:00.000-07:00

Seriously, do you think we'll hit $4 a gallon in California by the summer as predicted?
If more stations follow the lead of this Hollywood station I drove by on 4/18/07, it won't take long.

This is not a normal price, I will tell you that. It is 25-30 cents more per grade than the average LA area station. So how come this station charges so much? Obviously they are getting it. In a non emergency situation, can you call that gouging? No one is making you stop there.

Oh, well, fossil fuels will some day be a thing of the past. Maybe in my lifetime. What's next?

30 days to go; a lifetime of fun begins.

2007-04-21T13:00:00.000-07:00

At my weekly weigh in today, I was down another pound from last week, for a total of ten pounds in 8 weeks, and another 1/2 inch off my waist, for a total of 4 1/2 inches. I feel pretty good about that.

With 4 weeks left to go in the Burn and Firm program, I am very close to achieving the
goals I set at the start. But the main thing I am getting out of this experience, besides the weight loss and the all around boost of confidence, is that I have replaced the eating and exercise habits that weren't working, with new healthy habits that do work. It took 12 years to put on about 40 pounds, so I don't expect to lose everything in 12 weeks, but it is a good start. I will post before and after pictures at the end of the program.

So, now I look forward to a lifetime of healthy eating, exercise, and looking good on the beach. Hey, I live in California!

If I can do it, anyone can do it. Just get out there and kick some abs!

Friday The 13th

2007-04-13T06:45:00.000-07:00

I feel lucky today, how about you? First off, good morning, how are you?

When I turn the page on the calendar to a new month, the first thing I do is check for three things; when is the full moon, are there two this month, and is there a Friday the 13th? If there is, like today, I am very happy, because I like Friday the 13th. I also like walking under ladders and having black cats cross my path. I like the added challenge and excitement they bring to my life.

You see, I am superstitious, but just not in the way most people are. For example, I'll never utter the name of the "Scottish Play", or whistle, backstage in a theatre, for that would surely bring disaster. And I always bring my baseball glove, the one I've had since I was 13 years old, to the ball park, even though I have never caught a ball, fair or foul, and it never really helps my team win. Is that a tradition or a superstition? Not sure. But I do it.

I wear a silver St. Genesius medallion for good luck at auditions and on stage. That goes back to my days in Teen Footlighters. The medallion was given to me by my dear old friend, Mickey Henningsen. Is that a tradition or a superstition? Not sure. But I do it.

I always touch the outside of an airplane when I board, as I cross the portal from the jet way onto the aircraft, to make sure the plane is real. Is that a tradition or a superstition? Not sure. But I do it.

When I enter or exit an automobile, I alway look for open holes in the ground near the car, like sewer grates or chasms in the ground that my keys might fall in if I dropped them, and I grip the keys tightly in my hand until I'm safely in the car and the doors are closed or the doors are locked and the keys safely back in my pocket. Is that a tradition or a superstition? Not sure. But I do it.

If I see a coin on the street, I check to see if it is heads-up or tails-up before I pick it up. Is that a tradition or a superstition? Not sure. But I do it. Oh, I pick up the coin either way, but I never pick up a coin if it is less than a nickel.

But Friday the 13th to me is not an unlucky or superstitious day. It's a fun day, a lucky day. So I wish you all a lot of luck today, and always.

PS: I hope Kurt Vonnegut is safely up in heaven where he deserves a special seat of honor at The Good Guys Table. He sure was one of the good ones. Good luck up there, Kurt.

I'm so vain.

2007-03-25T08:20:00.000-07:00

Good morning. I'm fine, thank you, how are you?

Today I would like to talk about vanity. Not vanity in general, but my own. I am vain, I admit it. I check out my reflection in shop windows when I walk down the street. I can't pass a mirror without at least slowing down to see how I look, and I have been working hard lately to get myself back in shape.

As an actor, how I look directly affects how often I might work. My body is my tool, the canvas on which I sculpt a character, and so I have to be very aware of it, in control of it. I have to be very comfortable in it, and I haven't been as comfortable these past few years as I would like to be. Also, as an American brought up in the 20th century, I have issues with my body like everyone else.

You see I was very overweight as a child, and I still have not fully gotten over that experience. I have been struggling with weight issues since I was 7 years old. And let me tell you, being an overweight child is no fun. I was harassed by my family, I was harassed by other children, and even a few teachers got their jabs in too. Fat people are targets, easy targets, for an insecure nation. At my heaviest I weighed in at about 220 pounds. That was when I was 15. There are very few photos of me back then. I tried every diet known back then, from Dr. Atkins Diet Revolution (which became so popular again twenty years later in the carb-conscious-nineties) to Weight Watchers. What could be more fun for a 12 year old on a Saturday morning than to go sit in a room with a bunch of overweight middle-age ladies and hear a motivational pep talk at Weight Watchers? Then be applauded at the scale for losing weight the previous week? Go ahead, make my week! They all worked for awhile, but I was a yo-yo, up and down, up and down.

When I was fifteen, I was taken to see Dr. Happy, who prescribed "diet pills", (narcotic amphetimines), to help me lose weight and stop looking like a blimp. They worked for my Aunt Madeleine, and they worked very well for me too. Dare I say extremely well. Maybe even too well. I lost a lot of weight, but had a lot of sleepless nights, and continue to grind my teeth even now, thirty years later.

Like all fat teenagers, there was no more hated time than the dreaded GYM class. Being made fun of in the locker room or the shower was enough to make me cut gym and or cut school altogether. (Do kids still say "cut" class? I hope so.) I couldn't run, I couldn't play basketball, there wasn't a single sport I was good at, except binge eating. In that I excelled. Until I met Dr. Happy. Dr. Happy changed all that with his magic pills and his advice at my bi-weekly weigh-in. I remember the Dr. actually smoked during my visit, as he looked at my chart, made a few notes, and asked me how I was feeling. I was hip to the game after awhile, so I told him the pills were no longer working as well, I needed more, and asked him to up the dose, which he usually did. Ah, Preludin, you were my best friend in high school. Did you see Aronofsky's Requiem For A Dream? Remember when Ellen Burstyn visits the diet doctor, gets the speed pills, and eventually gets really paranoid and goes crazy? That was me. Good times.

But I digress. I started talking about vanity and got sidetracked by my history of being overweight. It is important though, because even though I eventually shed most of the weight and was to most casual observers, thin, the effect on my body image has never really healed. Even though at long last I was within the norms of the Insurance Industry's height/weight charts for my height/weight, I still thought of myself as fat. That must be pretty common, like phantom limb syndrome, phantom fat syndrom.

The world looked at me and saw a thin person, but I didn't. I'll never forget the thrill I felt as I was being arrested in New Orleans one time and the booking officer called me Slim, as in "Hey Slim, let's see a profile". Was he talking to me? I was in heaven! I was really at the central police station, but it was heaven to me.

Shedding a fat body image is a difficult thing to do, but I think I am finally close to accepting myself as the newly thin person I am. Which leads me back to vanity.

So, I was thin for many years, and I felt good. I traveled around the world, I was athletic, I worked out, I had many girl friends, I went back into theatre, studied mime and physical theatre in Paris, and oh, did I mention I had many girl friends? For a fat kid who had a hard time talking to girls, that was huge.

Eventually I moved back to Chicago, where I met Kris and we married. I was an actor at first, but about ten years ago I quit acting and got into the film business. Working on movies is a passion for me, but with it came the crazy hours, the easy access to crappy food and snacks, and the unhealthy lifestyle that saw me care less about my body to get the job done. I went from my adult low weight of 155 up to 195 in about five years. I was embarrassed, but had no time or will power to change it. I am lucky, I guess, in that I can carry some extra weight and conceal it rather well. The men in my family all have big guts, except for my brother Steve, which is where most of my weight stuck, but it spread out pretty evenly so with a jacket and good fitting clothes I didn't look "fat".

In addition to gaining weight, or because of it, I wasn't happy with my job, I needed a change. The extra weight brought stress and the stress brought extra weight. The cycle was repeating.

Then about three years ago I got back into acting, did less film production work, and started to make decisions that were better for me. I started to listen to that little voice that tells you what you really want, what you should really do with your life. Getting back on stage again made me happy and that motivated me to lose weight. I was being seen again.

A year ago Kris and I made a huge lifestyle change; we moved to Los Angeles where I dedicate myself to acting. Los Angeles is very body conscious, in case you didn't know that. And Hollywood is quick to typecast or bodycast actors.

By the time I moved to LA last year I was down to about 180, but still carried a bit of a spare tire around the middle. Now there is nothing wrong with that, unless you don't want to carry a spare tire around the middle. It's not the healthiest way to be, and it wasn't how I wanted to look. I wanted to be thin. I wanted nice clean lines again. I wanted to be a thin person on television, not the middle-age guy with a spare tire on television.

I'm so vain, I guess I think this blog is about me, don't I, don't I?

Two months ago I saw an audition notice for a workout video. The offer was this; 8 weeks of free personal training in exchange for a committment to going a certain number of times per week and allowing before/after pictures and a testimonial. I applied for and was accepted into Ashley Marriott's Burn & Firm Training program. The duration of the program was extended to 12 weeks, and week 4 just ended.

This is the best thing I've done in a long time. It is really working out well for me. I knew I needed to work out, and I wanted to lose another 10-15 pounds, but I lacked the self-motivation to do it. I knew if I was accepted into this program and made the committment, I would follow through. I needed an external push, kind of like diet pills, only healthier. Much healthier. Ashley is wonderful; she's motivating, encouraging, is a great trainer with great information, and is helping to replace old unhealthy patterns with new healthy ones in all of us. I see the difference in my self and all the other people in the program. And, it doesn't require a class three narcotic prescription from a doctor!

Ashley's Burn & Firm program is a combination of dance steps and aerobic exercises that strengthen, tone and build endurance. The cardio work is burning fat and the strengthening work is building muscle. After the first four weeks I look better, I feel better, and I sleep better. I started the program at 171 pounds, and am now at 167. I went from a 36 1/2 waist to a 34, and also went down at my chest, thighs and hips. See, I told you I was vain. And with 8 more weeks to go, I am confident I will hit my target weight of 160, with a 32 inch waist. Then when I walk down the street and check myself out in store windows, I'll really like what I see.

Getting in shape is really getting in touch with your body and spirit. I am getting back in my body, getting comfortable in my body. For an actor, that is really important. Remember I said this is my tool, this is what I have to work with. I can't work as effectively if I am thinking about how to hide my weight, or how this costume makes me look fat. (Does this fat-suit make me look fat?) I have to take that out of the mix. There is enough to think about as it is while acting. The choices I make with my body and voice in real time are difficult enough without the insecurity of not being comfortable with my body.

So yes, I am vain, I am an actor. And I am a better actor now that my mind/spirit is more connected, more comfortable in my body, my spaceship, I travel through this life in.

I will post the embarrassing before and the powerfully motivating after pictures in approximately 8 weeks when the Burn and Firm program ends. Until then, I hope you all feel great in your spaceships and have a great time travelling through your life here on planet Earth.

I play one on TV...

2007-02-12T13:16:00.000-08:00

I'm not a cop, never wanted to be one, but playing one on TV is another story. I could do that all day long. Good cops, bad cops, it doesn't matter.

But I'd like to have a good catch phrase, you know, something people will remember. Like, "Book 'em, Dano", or, "Who loves you baby?" I'd like to see tee-shirts with my catch prase, and posters, and bill boards. A big bill board on the Sunset Strip of me telling the perp, "Wasn't such a good idea now was it shit-for-brains" as I cuff him. Or, "Rights? Don't make me laugh!"
Yeah, I like that.

As you can tell, I probably had a good time playing a cop on LA Forensics. Playing a cop is much better than actually being a cop, I'm sure. No one really shoots at you, the hours are better, and you always get the bad guy.

Everyone on the crew of LA Forensics was very nice, they work quick, and treated us actors well. What more can you ask for? I got to play, and that's what I'm here for.

I took a few photos while we were on set. That's me above with a badge and a gun, and then four of us in our TV cop show pose.

Hey, why do I like playing a cop so much? Is it the power a cop has? Am I becoming reactionary as I get older? Do I really wish I could carry a gun and dole out punishment to those who transgress the laws of our great nation? Man, now I'm confused. I wish I knew what was right?

"Rights? Don't make me laugh."

LA Forensics

2007-02-07T08:16:00.000-08:00

Well, it's just a few weeks short of one year since I moved to Los Angeles. I am still full of certainty that it was the right thing to do and that I am on my way to getting what I want here. The pieces are falling into place.

Today I will do my first TV show in a featured role. I will be the lead detective investigating a crime on LA Forensics, a show that airs on the Court TV network. I don't know if it airs outside of Los Angeles. I watched it last night, and it breaks down a real crime with interviews with the real detectives, and filmed recreations of the crime and how it was solved by LAPD.

I am booked for three days and I'm looking forward to it. It should be some good stuff for my reel, and it should be a real hoot. I get to look all serious and play a cop on TV. While the recreations are without dialog as a voice over explains what's happening, I've already been rehearsing the lines I remember from so many cop shows: Where were you the night of...You're lying!....Come on, let me help you out here....You scum bag, why I have shit on the bottom of my shoes with more brains than you...Miss, what were you doing with six grams of crack up your ass?... The perp knew the vic...he's getting away!!!...stop, LAPD!...and other fun things like that.

I think this is my first cop role.

Book em!

Variety Review of Phantom Love

2007-01-26T23:59:00.000-08:00

Phantom Love

A KNR Prods./Menkesfilm presentation of a Kevin Ragsdale production. Produced by Ragsdale. Executive producer, Julian Goldberger. Co-producers, Nina Menkes, Ragsdale. Directed, written, edited by Nina Menkes.

With: Marina Shoif, Juliette Marquis, Yelena Apartseva, Bobby Naderi.
(English, Russian dialogue)

By ROBERT KOEHLER

Stanley Kubrick's confident statement -- "If it can be written or thought, it can be filmed" -- receives stunning confirmation in Nina Menkes' "Phantom Love." While the helmer's four previous features similarly function in a state of dream logic and concern female states of being, the current pic strikingly puts a woman's subconscious thoughts and dreams onscreen in ways more radical and beautiful than in her past visually stunning semi-narrative pics. "Phantom Love" may be too rich for most U.S. distribs, but sophisticated foreign buyers and fests will lust after this piece of pure cinema.
First seen in sweaty coitus with her lover (Bobby Naderi), Lulu (Marina Shoif) appears distanced and expressionless, her face suggesting that her mind is elsewhere. "Phantom Love" is intentionally designed and structured in an open manner, welcoming the viewer to various interpretations. One of them -- implied by the title -- is that much of the rest of the film's images and sounds are the wandering thoughts Lulu experiences during sex.

These images are in black-and-white, and not since Bela Tarr's "Werckmeister Harmonies" has black-and-white looked so stunning and mesmerizing -- thanks crucially, to cinematographer Chris Soos' masterful use of high contrasts, shadows and depth-of-field in the film's majestic interior locales. Though she has handed over lensing chores this time, Menkes functions as usual as her own camera operator, displaying again her gift for framing and nimbly following spontaneous action.

This includes several extended scenes in a Koreatown casino, where Lulu works (akin to Menkes' Vegas heroine in "Queen of Diamonds") at a roulette table. Although the scenes seem at first repetitive, they are actually staged and shot with great variety, including some amazing close-ups of the excited players' faces and hands.

Like dreams often do, images repeat themselves as Lulu tries to work her way through her erotically triggered troubles. One of these involves her dressed in a classic little black dress and heels, carefully walking down a long hallway around an enormous snake. Animals abound in the film, including a fantastically viewed squid in an aquarium and scenes in which Lulu's mother (Yelena Apartseva) is surrounded by bees.

Menkes is not so dreamy a scripter that she fails to link these otherwise showy and random images to Lulu's real-life problems, some of which involve struggling with her mother who's overstayed her welcome in Lulu's home, and her emotionally troubled sister Nitzan (a fine Juliette Marquis), whose momentary disappearance marks the only point in the film where a fixed psychological reality takes the place of subconscious fears and desires.

A repeated view of Lulu crossing a bridge (ravishingly filmed in Rishikesh, India) suggests a passage to another sort of life, and, in a film intently focused on material objects and bodies, the sight of Lulu being drowned in light offers a striking spiritual note.

Actors' perfs matter far less here than their place in the overall staging, but Shoif and Marquis are allowed considerable freedom to express themselves along the lines of silent cinema (the first real line of dialogue occurs well past the 30-minute mark).

Pic triggers memories of movie images from Jacques Demy's "Lola" to Jean Cocteau's "Orpheus," and an amazing shot of a sleeping woman rising off her bed sends the viewer back to the medium's earliest days. Soundtrack, mixing sound effects and Rich Ragsdale's music, creates an audio dream state of its own.

Camera (B&W, 35mm-to-DV), Chris Soos; music, Rich Ragsdale; production designer, S. Logan Wince; costume designer, Erica Frank; sound, Ed White; supervising sound editors, Menkes, Joseph Tsai; sound re-recording mixer, Michael Kreple; visual effects supervisor, Tim Carras; line producers, Aditya Singh, Elyse Katz; associate producers, Lena Bubenechik, Paul Inman; assistant director, Natasha Subramaniam; casting, Bubenechik. Reviewed at Sundance Film Festival (New Frontiers), Jan. 19, 2007. Running time: 86 MIN.

Sundance 2007 - Day 5

2007-01-24T10:26:00.000-08:00

No, we didn't get up at 7 and get to Park City by 8. We did wake by 9 and get out of the motel by 11. We are not being very good at getting up early. And why should we? We're on vacation, screw it.

Should we rush to Park City to see a movie? Nah, this will be the Sundance trip where I didn't see any movies I wasn't in. So be it.

Breakfast, er, lunch, on Main street, a quick stop at the festival store to buy a poster where we are assualted by the angry bitchiness of a woman working there (Kris - "I hope she enjoys being her all day"), and headed back to Salt Lake City. Our trip to Sundance was over. Kris' first time and she had a blast. You talk to people everywhere, everyone is in a good mood, there is so much energy, and it's all about film. So cool.

We had lunch in Salt Lake with my friend Andy, who I've known since third grade, and who was also in Footlighters with me.

Then we flew home. Uneventful.

If you have never been to Sundance, you really should try to go sometime. It is an awesome experience, especially if you are in the film biz, or just love movies. You rarely get a chance to ask a director or an actor a question after a movie, but at the Q & A's after every screening there you do. A lot of film lovers go and volunteer to work the festival a few hours a day and then get to see films and go to parties.

You see celebrities, you go to parties. It's a blast.

I'm going to start planning next years trip to Sundance, today.

Hope this wasn't too boring. I know I tend to write too much and edit too little. I love details. I love coincedence. I love telling stories.

Now I have to go back to writing about other stuff. What's next? I don't know. Tune in tomorrow and find out.

Sundance 2007 - Day 4

2007-01-24T09:59:00.000-08:00

Damn, Safari just crashed and I lost 30 minutes of writing on this post. I don't really feel like doing it again. So here is day 4 in a nutshell.

Woke up and watched the Bears win the NFC Championship game at a crowded Bears friendly bar on Main Street. Yeah.

Ate over priced Thai food. What isn't overpriced in Park City?

Went to the Illinois Film Office party. That was fun. Saw some old friends from Chicago. Met the new director of the film office, Betsy Steinberg and wished her well. Spoke to Brenda Sexton, the hostess, who after four years running the film office is going to move to LA and start producing. We promised her we'll take her hiking in Griffith Park, which is our favorite thing to do in LA. Spoke to Chaz Ebert, Roger's wife, who I have met several times. What a sweet lady. She was here to let everyone know Roger is doing well and to promote his Overlooked Film Festival in the Spring.

Met Jeff and Liz again for dinner at Cicero's on Main St. and then got into the Method Fest party. Kris said hello to Lou Lombardi, who played Edgar Stiles on 24, our favorite show. He was nice. Kris told him she was sorry they killed him off.

At the party I start talking to a guy, and his name is oddly familiar. Then I remember. I had lunch with him 15 years ago in Chicago. He married a woman I knew in Chicago after she moved to LA. Small world.

Back to Coalvillle for the last time. It's past midnight - I know, early for Sundance, but we have no more parties to go to, and we are going to try to get up early and see a movie tomorrow. Yeah, right.

Sundance 2007 - Day 3

2007-01-21T09:09:00.000-08:00

Saturday in Park City and it is pretty busy. The busses are crowded, the sidewalks are jammed, and the restaurant staff don't give a damn.

Waking up and taking our time to leave the motel in Coalvillle, we drove back to the Yarrow Hotel in Park City to park the car and have breakfast. Then up to Main Street. I go to my scheduled interview with the ladies of Indie Appeal
(myspace/indieappeal.com), a sort of hip The View, or as they say, not your mother's talk show. Kris walks up to the Egyptian Theatre to get wait list tickets for a 3pm movie.

The interview goes great. The ladies, Amy, Lauren, Maura and Mecca are all really sweet and full of bubbly energy and fun to talk to. I'm getting the star treatment for a few minutes and it's great. I talked about Phantom Love, Cup Of My Blood, and my film, Slave. Fun stuff, I can't wait to do more TV appearances.

The interview was in a building on Main Street that was set up like a big promtional and swag event for invited guests only. There was a liquor sponsor, a furniture company, a water company, a clothing company, The Illinois Film Office had a booth, a Canadian diamond company, The Penninsula Hotel in Chicago, and a few others. My friend John Diggles sponsored a booth for his product. Xango, a new mangosteen drink, that is quite delicious and good for you too!

Kris talked her way past the doorman and was waiting for me downstairs on the first floor when the interview was over. Kris couldn't get wait list tickets for the film because this year they only give one per person, so no movie. I said we should go back up to 3, I wanted to introduce her to the Indie Appeal ladies. That turned into them asking to interview Kris, so a time was set and we left the Main Event building to have a coffee and look around Main Street.

There was a Starbucks on Main St. last time I was here, and it was now a local coffee place. How often does that happen? I wonder what the story behind that was?

We went back to the Main Event and watched the ladies finish their interview with some filmmakers who have a film in Slamdance, Over the GW. It looked pretty intense.

Then Kris was just about to go on set for her interview, when the press agent for the event brought up a guy (a celebrity) and asked him if he wanted to talk to the ladies? He jumps right on set an takes over, and they let it happen. The guy was Dustin Diamond who played Screech on Saved By The Bell from 1989 - 1993. Wow. I missed television those years.

It was pretty funny to watch as he talked about why he is here (he is being followed around for a reality TV show) and he did comedy bits from other movies and turned everything into a self depricating sexual inuendo. Wow.

Kris did her interview and she was great, talking about her art and her clairvoyance, and how she works the two together.
We took photos, we chatted and left.

We went downstairs to the second floor to see what else we could get from the other sponsors. I could get used to the star treatment. We talked to the Peninsula Hotel people from Chicago and tasted their amazing hot chocolate. Then had a Patron margarita, it was after 3 already, and walked to the back room by the Gold Toe sock display. The two ladies there, Jen and Ericka, were so nice, invited us to sit. I think they were happy to have company. They gave us lots of socks, and told us they get calls from stars, like this, "I'm in my closet, and it's all beige and brown, and I don't have any socks to match, can you send me 100 pairs?" And they do it. Once.

They gave us socks.

Then Jen asks Kris what she does, and Kris starts telling her about painting in reverse on vinyl, and Jen gets this weird look on her face and says, "I know you, some one told me about you." Someone who Kris doesn't know had told Jen about her paintings last year. Jen remembered her as soon as she heard the reverse painting on vinyl. That was a spooky cool wow moment for Kris.

All this has happened and it's not even 5 PM. So we leave there and go up Main Street to meet Jeff Gold and his girlfriend Liz, and a couple of other friends for an early dinner. The restaurant is Shabu, and the only reservation Jeff could get was 5 pm. This is important because later it comes up. The restaurant is very crowded and very expensive. Fine dining, right?

The food is good, the service fine, we are all talking and drinking and enjoying ourselves. The bill comes, it's paid, and two members of our table leave, and we ask the waiter for more water. Jeff leaves the table for a minute, Liz, Kris and I are there, and the waiter tells us, very rudely, that we have been there too long, our reservation was from 5 to 7, they let us stay till eight, (it's only 7:30) but they have been very generous to us and let us stay but now they have to turn the table and we have to go as he grabs the water glass away from Liz. We were stunned. The billl for 7 of us, though I didn't see it, had to be about 400 to 500 bucks. This isn't a diner. So Jeff comes back and I tell him what happened. He gets mad, Liz gets mad. We all got mad. So we said something. Jeff wantes to talk to the manager. The waiter goes away, and when he comes back he is very apologetic, but never really says I'm sorry for the way he acted, but the manager has instructed him to tell us we can stay and they would like to buy us a drink. So we take the drink, and take our time, but it was a very strange experience. A Waitergonebad for sure!

After that we had to get going to our second screening of Phantom Love, which I liked even more the second time, and this time I was invited down to the podium by the director for the Q & A. That was fun. Nina answered questions about the film.

By the time we got out of there it was almost midnight and we decided to head back to Coalville. Nothing happened on the way. We sat in the hot tub at the motel. I'm addicted to hot tubs now. That was day three.

Sundance 2007 - Day 2

2007-01-20T09:30:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I mentioned that anyone who is somebody has a festival pass, a big bright orange pass hanging around their neck, and they wear it proudly. Well, now I have one too.

Yesterday, we left Coalville and went to breakfast at the Yarrow wherre we overheard the director of My Kid Could Paint That being interviewed. Then up to Main Street and said hello to Jeff Gold, a composer friend of mine who lives in SLC and is running a small festival on Main Street at The New Frontier Building called the Music and Film Festival, devoted to music in films. Went to a free cafe sponsored by The Wall Street Journal Week-end edition and heard John Sloss and Brett Morgan (Chicago 10) talk about their film.

Then we went back to the Holiday Cinema to get wait list tickets for the 5:30 premiere of Phantom Love. Across the parking lot for a sandwich and ran into John Diggles, fellow Chicago filmmaker and producer of the 2002 Sundance film, Design, by Davidson Cole.

Got into the screening of Phantom Love ($10 tickets!!!) and saw Nina, the director and others from the film and was thoroughly mesmorized by it. It's a personal story, a search for meaning and self. Not for everyone, as evidenced by those who walked out, but I thought it was beautiful, full of haunting images, and shot in beautiful Black and White. Then I came on screen, preaching, in two shots, close ups, powerful, and it was a real kick to see my self up there.

After the screening we had a drink and at dinner we talked to our neighbors and met some cool people. We decided to head back early, sit in the spa and get some sleep.

Here is the fun capper to the day. We park at the motel in Coalville, and up pulls a Jeep to the front door. As we walk in I see the Indiana license plates and comment that they have come a long way. Then we enter the lobby and the guy who got out of the Jeep was Rusty Nails, a guy I went to Columbia College with and a Chicago filmmaker. He was just stopping to ask directions. They were just driving here from Chicago. I gave them directions and I'm sure we'll see them on Main street. Good thing I didn't owe him any money. That would have been uncomfortable. What are the chances? If it were in a movie, I don't think I'd believe it. Life and movies, sometimes it's hard to tell them apart. As my friend Al Rose wrote; "Shit like this you can't make up."

Day two was a blast, and met a lot of people.

Sundance 2007 - Day 1

2007-01-18T23:11:00.000-08:00

It's late, and I've been traveling all day, but I wanted to write something before I go to bed. I'm here at the Sundance Film Festival. This year, unlike anytime I've been here before, I'm connected to a film in the festival. I have a small part in the film Phantom Love by Nina Menkes. When Nina wrote me that the film was selected to premiere in the fest, I knew I had to be here. If it weren't for that, I wouldn't have come this year.

It's cold here! Yeah really, it's winter. The high today in Park City was 20 degrees. I haven't experienced a cold winter in a year, and you know what? It's the same as I remember it. You have to wear a lot of clothes and it's cold and hard to move and its cold. But I'm not here to talk about the weather.

We flew into Salt Lake City today, rented a car and drove up to Coalville, UT, about 20 miles east of Park City. It was the only place I could get a room a month before the festival that didn't cost $300 a night. After checking in at the Best Western in Coalville, we went down and sat in the spa for a while. That helped releive some of the stress of travel.

Then we drove into Park City for dinner and to look around. Tonight is the opening night of the festival, so it isn't that crowded yet. Already the bars and restaurants are busy, but not like it will be tomorrow, and the rest of this opening weekend. The festival runs for ten days, but most people come either the first weekend or the second. The opening weekend is busier and more star sightings are likely.

Kris has never been to Park City or the festival, so this is all new to her. This is my fourth festival, so I know the lay of the land a bit.

One thing that didn't work for me about this years festival was the system they created for buying individual screening tickets. You see, if you are anybody, you have a pass. A pass says you are somebody. Sombody with either an expence account, a studio job, or are successful enough or important enough to shell out hundreds (or maybe a thousand) for an all access full festival pass.

The rest of us must beg, borrow or steal tickets to get into the best films. Or get lucky in the ticket lottery to buy single tickets. This year they had a lottery system and here's how it worked. You had to pay 5 bucks to be entered into a lottery, and create a user account. Then a computer would randomly assign all those who entered a time to purchase individual tickets to screenings via a secure website. The time slots were from Monday to Friday of the week before the festival. Kris and I entered. Her time was Thursday afternoon, mine was friday morning, the last day tickets were on sale. Now, they don't really know how many pass holders are going to attend a given movie, so they must have a system for estimating how many will, and based on the number of seats at a particular venue, (there are 8 in Park City) how many individual tickets they can sell.

So you log onto a website at your assigned time, access your account, and start selecting tickets. If you called in on the phone at your assigned time, there would be a ten dollar service fee, on top of the one dollar service fee on each tickets bought on-line or on the phone.

When Kris' time came, we started logging in to use the service, but the system was so over loaded that it didn't work. So we tried the phone, and that was busy for over a half hour. Then our call was answered and we were put on hold for a long time. When we finally got an operator, every movie we wanted, and every back-up second choice we wanted was already sold out. The only movie we were able to get tickets for was a screening on Saturday night at a theatre about 6 miles outside of Park City (who wants to leave Park City just to see a movie!) of Phantom Love, the film I am in. That's it. Everything else was sold out. And with the service fee, the lottery fee and the telephone fee, it cost us 52 dollars for two tickets to see the movie I am in. Great!

Now if you can't afford 26 dollars for a movie ticket maybe you should stay home and rent a movie and make some micro-wave popcorn. This is Sundance baby. You might be sitting next to "someone" at a screening. You might see a big star on the street or the table next to you at lunch. Once I ran into Hope Davis at the Albertsons doing some shopping. You never know. So, no, I'm not complaining about spending 52 dollars for two movie tickets, I'm bragging about it! $28 for an entree? $13 dollars for a glass of wine? Bring it on.

Tomorrow we will get in line for last minute tickets to the Premiere of Phantom Love. I hope we can get in. I want to see the first screening, to go up on stage after the movie with the director and the rest of the cast. That is what I want out of this.

I got paid 100 bucks for my participation in this movie. I'm spending thousands to attend the festival. Is it worth it? You bet it is. It's priceless.

More tomorrow! Look for us on E - entertainment! Signing out from Coalville, UT -

Noel

Happy New Year 2007

2007-01-07T10:41:00.000-08:00

Greetings friends and strangers,

I hope 2007 will rain health and wealth and happiness down on you like confetti in Times Square on NYE. I hope the New Year will bring you all you desire and that you get to wear fabulous new clothes. I hope your breath will always be pleasant and your dandruff under control. I hope your feet will carry you on amazing paths through exotic countries and your tongue will learn many new words. I hope the lottery numbers you saw in your dream last night and played today match the Big Game. I hope your teenage children appreciate you for the amazing person you are. I hope you never need Viagra or Vagisil. I hope you smoke only the good stuff. I hope your blood pressure is low, your I.Q. high, and your bowel movements regular. I hope your evil boss gets transferred, your obnoxious co-worker has an epiphany and moves to Tibet and is replaced by someone super-cool. I hope you finish your screenplay. I hope you win the Nobel prize. I hope your line of women's thong bikinis gets picked up by Macy's. I hope your dog's obedient training classes go well. I hope your coffee is always strong. I hope you look good in every photo you are in this year. I hope that re-hab job in your home is over soon. I hope you marry the person of your dreams. I hope you learn to ride a bike. I hope you learn to play the guitar. I hope your psoriasis clears up. I hope your garage sale is a success. I hope your girlfriend loses that 20 pounds she's been trying to lose. I hope the wars and destruction around the planet will end and the healing can begin. I hope your car gets 45 MPG. I hope I can move on to the next paragraph of this entry soon. I hope the Cubs win the World Series. I hope you get your own sit-com. I hope you learn to golf.

The new year is getting off to a great start for me here in LA-LA land, my new home.

I've been here for 9 months now and in that time I've lived in two apartments, bought a new car, had a lot of jobs, and had a role in a film that will premiere at the Sundance Film Festival this month. I've been asked to be a company member of the Atwater Playhouse in LA, performed in Invisible Bars, the second show at this new theatre, and continue to study my craft and get better all the time.

I'm going to write more in 2007, so check back often.

Peace to you all,

Noel

Robert Altman and my best Location Manager job ever.

2006-11-25T08:37:00.000-08:00

One night in Chicago, while I was working as location manager on a stupid commercial, and trying my best not to lose my temper with the stupid producer from LA, I got a call from a Chicago production manager friend of mine, Karyn McCarthy, asking me if I would like to come in to the office thenext morning and meet Robert Altman, and start location scouting for his new film, The Company. Would I ever? I said yes immediately. Suddenly I could deal with the present situation much easier, knowing it would be over in a matter of hours, and the next morning I would be starting a new job working for one of my film heroes. I was really floating on clouds the rest of the night, and even though we shot well into the early morning hours, I was up and ready to go downtown early for my meeting.

I was very nervous to meet Bob, but there was no need. He was so nice and warm, welcoming and charming. Our meeting only lasted five minutes, and he was a bit vague about his desire for locations, but since I hadn't even read the script yet, it didn't matter. I had met Robert Altman, and I was going to be the location manager on the film.

Over the next three months I got to watch Bob more than I had much meaningful direct contact with him. He didn't deal with tasks like locations very hands on, other people did most of that for him. Since The Company was mostly shot in the rehearsal studio and sets built for the film all in one building downtown, there wasn't a lot of on location work. Probably because he was 78 at the time, he wasn't up for that. Look at Gosford Park, one location, or Prairie Home, mostly one set.

I remember one day I was in Karyn's office talking, and Bob came in. He had to ask Karyn about something and he sat down and relaxed for a moment. Then we just started talking, and Karyn told him that I was a film maker and had just directed a feature. He asked me a bit about it and I started to tell him when his producer came in and had to take Bob away to deal with something. When Bob left, Karyn and I just looked at each other in disbelief at our brief tete a tete with Bob Altman. It was a real "wow" moment for me.

I never had a chance to speak with him so directly again, except at the wrap party, when I thanked him for the party and the opportunity to work on the film. Our wrap gift on the show was a black and white scarf with the words THE COMPANY knitted across the length of it, designed by Bob.

When we were on location, Bob always went out of his way to say hello to people. I remember when we shot the big dance in the rain scene for three nights at the Petrillo Band Shell in Grant Park. We invited the city of Chicago to join us for the big crowd scenes, we made rain, we had special effects, and everyone got wet. But hundreds of people came down to see Robert Altman work. And Bob came out on stage and said hello to everyone, and thanked them for being there. He was like that everywhere we worked; at the Auditorium Theatre, at a private mansion, at the club Neo, I could always count on Bob to be kind to everyone we dealt with; from the cops directing traffic for us to the people that rented us a lunch room location. That is not always the case with star directors. And it makes my job so much easier when I tell a location that Altman is directing the film, doors open a lot quicker. Everyone wanted the chance to meet him.

I was very impressed to watch him work on his first film in high definition video. He sat at a bank of monitors and watched the four cameras simultaneously, and after each take make adjustments. He was a perfectionist, and would do take after take, looking for something intangible that he was waiting to happen. At 78 years old and after so many films, here he was embracing this new technology and playing with it, creating with it, like the master artist he was.

The only time I got mad at Bob, and of course I kept this to myself, was when he cancelled a shot called for 8 PM at an exterior location downtown. It was November and cold, and I guess he just didn't feel up to it. I had spent three weeks setting up that location dealing with buildings, businesses, agreements, street closures and other entities, and he just pulled the plug on it because it was cold. That's power I thought. Oh, well, that's what I do. Things change. Of course the film didn't suffer with out that scene, so I guess he knew what he was doing.

I no longer work as a location manager, but working with Robert Altman on The Company was the best L.M. job I ever had.

I will always remember Bob Altman as a kind and creative man who made great films, loved actors, and took the crazy world of show-biz in stride. He inspires me today to continue to seek my way and stay true to my vision, the way any artist must. Thanks Bob.

I took the photo above while we were on a location scout. He is seated with the DoP of the film, Andrew Dunn, and (R) his son and camera operator, Bobby. Photo credit: Noel Olken © 2002

F.A.Q. # 1

2006-11-02T08:50:00.000-08:00

Welcome to the Frequently Asked Questions page of the It's Okay web log. If you don't find the answer you are looking for here, please try looking on the internet. There are so many questions that we won't be able to get to them all on this page, so look for more F.A.Q. pages in the future.

Question: Why don't you write very often?

Answer: Writing a "blog" is very hard work. Sometimes after even creating a short entry I can't get out of bed for weeks.

Q: What is your favorite color?

A: I would have to say it's in the blue family, but the specific favorite shade of blue changes frequently. The color of Kris's eyes are amazing, so that's a big favorite. (for a photo of Kris go to kriscahill.com and check out those eyes!)

Q: What is the name of the Hopi ritual clown you wear on the left breast of your black denim jacket?

A: That is Koshari, or the Hano clown. Another name for Koshari is Koyala, which seems to refer to their babbling speech and antic movements, but may also refer to their headgear, koya'lashen.

Q: Why did you choose him?

A: I like him because he is also known as the glutton, and will often eat an entire watermelon by himself. Like me.

Q: When did you move to Los Angeles?

A: The year was 1878. The gold rush was on. I packed the family into the wagon and we headed out west from Ohio to strike it rich.

Q: What about this life time?

A: Oh. I moved here in March of ought six. I spent 7 long months living away from my blue eyed wife, which if you have a wife, I highly recommend you not live away from her for that long. It's very difficult.

Q: What happened, were you finally reunited?

A: Yes. In September of ought six we sold the homestead back in Illinois, and packed up the Penske (that's what they call wagons these days) and headed west. It was one of the most difficult moves in the history of moves. For one, the old penske was too small to accommodate all of our worldly possessions. As the last piece of furniture was placed on the back of ole penske and tied down, we still had a front yard full of boxes and furniture that we had no room for.

Q: What did you do?

A: We started a bon fire and burned everything.

Q: What happened next?

A: Well, it was late by the time we left the homestead, so we drove the penske as far as we could, and found a place to rest for the night. It was an inn of some kind that had a holiday theme to it. The next morning when we woke, the wife had taken ill with a pox of some kind. We sought out a doctor in Missouri who treated her, but the pain persisted for quite some time.
We had planned a wonderful journey/adventure/vacation, but it was not as much fun for the wife as we had hoped, as her face was on fire most of the trip. By the time we hit the big hole in the ground in Arizona, she was feeling much better, the swelling had gone down, and she could see again. Still, she refused to walk too close to the edge of the canyon. I'm not sure why.

Q: Who are you going to vote for on November 7th?

A: Anyone who is against the war, for the environment, and all the propositions that will tax the rich and the oil companies.

Q: Do you have any musical gigs coming up soon?

A: No.

Q: What about acting gigs?

A: I'm always auditioning for work, as all actors do. I was recently became a company member of the Atwater Playhouse
(www.atwaterplayhouse.com) a theatre and school that practices and teaches the Stanislavski Method. I am also
an understudy in their new play, Invisible Bars, that runs until Dec 16, 2006.

Q: Have you ever served any time in jail?

A: I was arrested twice, no convictions.

Q: How do you feel about the new planet that was just discovered?

A: I hope to get to know it better in the future, maybe at a cocktail party or some social event. I'm sure there are many more planets we will discover in the future.

Q: Were you ever a professional baseball player?

A: Yes, I played for the Washington Senators.

Q: What's it like living downtown in Los Angeles?

A: It's great. We are so close to everything. The air is dirty and it can be noisy at times, but that is most of LA. There are ten million souls here, it's an interesting place.

Q: Do you miss your friends and family back in Illinois?

A: Of course.

Q: Do you think the lunar landing in 1969 was a fake?

A: No. Green screen technology was not sophisticated enough then to fake such an event. I remember watching it live on television. It was very exciting. I hear the ratings were to the moon.

Q: If you were on a desert island, what three records and movies would you want with you?

A: How would I play them?

Q: A solar powered DVD/CD/MP3 player with built in monitor and speakers.

A: Okay. For music, I would choose Brian Eno's Another Green World, Frank Zappa's Hot Rats, and Bach's Preludes. Movies are bit harder, but I would have to say the original Willie Wonka with Gene Wilder, Woody Allen's What's Up Tiger Lilly, (so I could make up my own dialog when I got bored, and maybe some porn.

Q: Porn?

A: Yeah, I'm on a desert island alone with nothing but an MP3 player. What would you do, study fucking Latin?

Q: You seem upset now?

A: I'm not upset. I just don't want to be on the desert island anymore. End of questions, I need a nap.
If you have anymore questions, you can email me through my page on the world wide web, noelolken.com.
I have to go take a nap.

Zombies, Pirates and Priests

2006-08-14T12:15:00.000-07:00

Last week I was a Zombie in an art film project by Jim Shaw. It's supposed to be shown in an art gallery in Paris next year. When I get more info I will post it here. There were 12 of us "Businessmen Zombies" (redundant, I know) and we are part of a bigger project Jim is putting together. I'm not sure what it is yet.

It was fun to get into latex makeup and breath in fogger smoke for hours in an enclosed studio in Pasadena.

For lunch I had a burrito, which is really hard to eat when your mouth won't open very wide.

In the last three weeks I've been a priest, a pirate, and a zombie.

Oh yeah, and a waiter. But that's real life. Or is it?

LA makes for some Strange Days

2006-08-02T09:43:00.000-07:00

(photo: L 2 R Kevin, Noel, Nina)

One of my favorite Doors songs is Strange Days. No surprise Jim Morrison was from LA.

Yesterday was one of my strange and wonderful days in LA. A bit stressful, but fun and wonderful.

Yesterday I was booked to shoot the role of a Televangelist for Nina Menkes, director, in her newest independent film, Phantom Love. (www.ninamenkes.com) I've been booked for weeks and had the day blocked out. On Monday, I get an email from the extras casting director for Pirates of the Caribbean 3 that I have a look-see with Pirates director Gore Verbinski for the featured role of a French-speaking pirate. Awesome, but it's at 9 am in Burbank, at Disney, and I have a 10 am call in Venice, about 30 miles away. If everything went well, and traffic didn't suck too badly, I could have made it.

Then an hour later I get another email that the look-see has been pushed to 2 pm. This would be tight, because how could I know how long the shoot would go, and what I really wanted more than anything was to do both the shoot and the look see.

Well I got what I wanted. The shoot went great, Nina was happy, and I wrapped my scene at 12:50 pm. I took one picture with Nina and her producer Kevin in my Televangelist/priest garb, and headed for Burbank.

My roommate, Circus*Szalewski (www.atthecircus.com) lent me his white billowy sleeved pirate shirt, which I wore with a bandana around my neck and my curly toed renaissance shoes. It was fun to walk through the Disney lot dressed as a pirate. No one really looked twice.

When I got to the location, a courtyard in the Frank G Wells building, there were about twenty other pirates sitting or standing around, filling out paperwork. By the end, about 35 pirates were there, some in full pirate regalia, and some looking more like French cafe waiters. About 10-15 guys were French, about 5 were European, and the rest, like myself, not French. I speak French, but I could hear that some of these guys couldn't speak a word of French but were going to try to get in anyway.

There were some great looking pirates; guys with great character faces who really, if I had to choose 3, I would have cast before me. But I was excited to be there, and the chance to stand before Gore and get a shot. I had been practicing how to tell him to f*ck off in French as a greeting for hours.

In the end, after keeping us waiting for over 2 hours, Gore was a no show and we were taken to a rehearsal room in the basement of a production building where we were taped in groups of ten.

So from a priest in an indie film in Venice to a pirate on the Disney lot in one day; I think that qualifies as a Strange Day. If I end up getting a role in Pirates 3, you will surely read about it here.

Peace.

Happy In De Pants Day!

2006-07-02T08:42:00.000-07:00

Hey, what's up, people? Are you wearing pants? It is In De Pants Day weekend, so come on, show your national pride and wear pants. What, it's In Depends Day?

Hey, up above you can see the knowwar photo I worked on a few weeks ago. The photographer, Zach Gold just sent it to us, and said to post it and show it and spread the word. So here it is. Feel free to pass it on. I hope it will get a lot of attention. I think it is an awesome photo and I was damn proud to be a part of it. 2500 hundred Americans dead in Iraq - and counting!

Remember I told you that about 50 of us showed up in the desert and we kept moving around in a group and Zach stitched it all together to make it look like 2500 of us? Well last week I had a job where we did the same thing, but it wasn't as much fun, or exciting or will it help stop the violence in Iraq or end the killing.

It was a photo for a brochure for a car company, and 50 of us moved around the seats of the Disney Concert Hall in downtown LA to make it look like 1600 people were watching a new car on stage. No heat. No dust, No burrs. No righteous anger at the stupid war.

And speaking of stupid war, as if it wasn't just the most outrageous travesty, now two American soldiers are accused of targeting, raping, and killing a Iraqi woman, and then her family to cover it up. Oh, and let's burn her house down too while we're at it.

Come on, guys, you're wearing 70 pounds of body armor, it's 120 degrees out. Are you getting all hot and bothered about a woman in a Burkha? What, did she show some ankle? These guys need a break. Obviously, not everyone can handle the stress very well. Bring these guys home. We really gotta get out of there. They are losing control, shooting at anything, and we are losing the war.

Speaking of war, are you out blowing shit up this weekend? Watch your fingers, though, you may need them on Wednesday. I personally don't like the sound of fireworks going off in my neighborhood. First there's the BOOM of an M80 or some such stupidity, followed by a car alarm or two. It's very distracting when I'm trying to watch Matlock reruns in Spanish.

It's been building up for weeks now. Tomorrow, the third, should be a blast!

Happy Birthday to all the July babies out there. I know quite a few of you.

And Happy Birthday, America. How old are you now? When will you grow up?

Richard C. Miller 1926-2006

2006-06-18T12:26:00.000-07:00

Let me start by offering my sincerest condolences to the Miller family for your loss.

I'm sorry this is so long, but anything less from me just wouldn't be possible.

I had the honor and the privilege of knowing Richard Milller for over half of my life, but now, even that does not seem like enough. Should I feel guilty for being so greedy? No, I admit, I want more. But it was Richard's time, and I'm glad he went peacefully, surrounded by his family. He never stopped talking about you; he loved you all so much.

I want to share just a few of the many memories of my 26-year friendship with Richard. I know they will comfort, console, and amuse me for a long time.

I guess the way we met is remarkable enough. The year is 1979. There I was on the PCH hitchhiking in the rain when Richard picked me up. I believe he was driving a VW bug. We stopped for a beer, his idea of course. I forget where, maybe in Monterey. I was awestruck by this fascinating man. Soon he was telling me I had to meet a friend of his, who was at another bar. He gave me his car keys, told me how to get there, and instructed me to find him and bring him back. So off I go, in his car, to the bar, to find someone I don't know, for someone I don't know, in a town I've never been to before. I get to the bar, and the gentleman in question had just left. So back I go to Richard. I walk in and Richard starts laughing and slapping the bar. He won the bet! The bartender bet him I wouldn't come back, that I would steal his car and be half way to Los Angeles by now. Richard knew I would come back, and we were friends ever since.

Over the years Richard and I spent time in San Francisco, Chicago, New York and Paris, and at his wonderful home in Pacific Grove. In San Francisco we hatched a plan during the Iran Hostage Crisis for me to replace one of the hostages. The big story of the day was the mother of one of the hostages who wanted to travel to Iran to see her son, but wasn't allowed to. So we came up with a plan. I'll take his place; then he gets to go home to his mother. We even wrote a blues song about it, and thought that would help the idea and, if we could record it before I go, could help raise the money for our scheme. I remember the first few lines: "Ayatollah once, Ayatollah twice, taking Americans hostage just isn't nice!"

Richard knew we needed press, so he called the Chronicle. They were skeptical, but sent someone down to talk to us. The reporter listened politely as we told him our plan and sang him the song, asked how to spell our names, and then asked if we had spoken to anyone at the State Dept. Were we aware that there was a ban on travel to Iran? So then we called the State Dept. An agent politely listened and told me how noble the idea was, but that they could not sponsor a hostage trade like that. I'm sure both of our government dossiers grew a little bigger that day. But we laughed and sang that song over and over to anyone who would listen. Thinking back on it now, we never really thought about my mother, and that she would be pretty upset if I went through with such a scheme, but hey, we were having too much fun to be realistic!

Richard was always fascinated by human nature and behavior. In Paris one day, we sat outdoors at a cafe at lunchtime and Richard threw 5-franc pieces on the street just to watch the expressions on the faces of the people who found them. Or saw them and wouldn't pick them up. 5 Francs at the time was only about a buck, but enough for a sandwich or a cappuccino at a cafe. How we laughed as we kept throwing coins on the street. Other people at the cafe, who were appalled at what we were doing, also started watching and, God bless the shy and reticent French, were even amused as well.

One night in Chicago, I took Richard to meet some friends of mine. They were part of a small theatre company that traveled to prisons, and all lived together in a small crowded apartment in Lakeview. An Englishman named John Bergman ran the company. Bergman was sharp, intellectual, sarcastic, and loved a good debate. He and Richard started talking and the rest of us just sat back and watched the sparks fly! Bergman was having so much fun taking an opposing view on everything Richard said. Richard's knowledge of history, combined with his love of art and people, were diametrically opposed to Bergman's cynical and foreign view of American politics, art and people. It was a glorious night. These two intellectual monsters, both drinking, both enjoying the debate skill of the other, put on quite a show. That small kitchen really came to life that night!

Richard was my mentor as well as my friend. He encouraged me to write, act, direct, make music, make films, and be an artist. When a new version of Bohemia was going to be published, he encouraged me to write a new chapter about my years living in Paris, to update the Bohemian experience for a new generation. That was the first of many projects we would work on together over the years.

Richard loved everybody. He made everyone feel like they were important and included them in everything he did. When he met my wife, Kris, he instantly treated her like his best friend. He was like that. He loved her artwork, so much so that when he published Tanglefoot last year, it was important to him to use one of her paintings on the cover.

For the last 26 years, no matter where I was in the world, no matter what was going on in my life, if I came home to find a letter from Richard, I was always immediately filled with joy. I have boxes containing hundreds of letters of correspondence from Richard. Some hand written, some typed, but all containing the wonderful enthusiastic and creative energy of Richard. No one in the world had a greater influence in my development as an artist, and a person than Richard.

Richard always closed his letters in one of two ways; For Fun and Folly, or, We're Flying Now!

My friendship with Richard was one of mutual respect and admiration, and of fun and folly!

Richard, I love you and miss you terribly. You made this world a better place, and you are missed by so many.

Richard, wherever you are, I know you are flying now!

Some of Richard's 13 novels and books include Bohemia; The Protoculture Then and Now, Snail, Sowboy, Canam, and Seaville.

For fun and folly!

Last week sucked!

2006-06-12T17:15:00.000-07:00

Last week I lost a friend, and suffered many small disappointments to boot. It was a bad week for me.
Somehow I made it through the weekend with only a few scratches.

This week will be better, I know. I'm working on a small piece about my friend, Richard C. Miller; a great man, a great artist, and a great writer. I really miss him. I never got to say good bye.

Goodbye, Richard.

The Blogs Of War

2006-06-04T11:10:00.000-07:00

It was about 7:30 am the other day when I was startled awake by a pounding at my door.

Sleepily, I went to see who it was. I peered through the peep hole. I saw a couple of suits.

"Who's there?" I mumbled.

"Blog Police" came a response from the other side of the door.

"What do you want?" I was starting to wake up now, but I think my voice cracked a little.

"Federal Standards created by the Department of Blogs stipulates very clearly that a blogger must maintain his or her blog a minimum number of times per month. You have fallen below the minimum" came the voice from the other side.

"Yeah, right." I scoffed.

"This is serious, sir. Your right to blog may be revoked. The internet is not for the weak hearted, or those who can't put out a federally mandated number of words and spaces a month. Get with the program, sir, or get off the net. This is your first and last warning."

"Oh, yeah? And what are you going to do about it if I don't?" I asked, sarcasm dripping from my lips.

The voice on the other side of the door got very soft, almost a whisper. I stood motionless, listening to what he told me, and couldn't move again until the sound of scraping shoes down the hallway disappeared completely.

I immediately went to my computer, and started typing.

Know War

2006-06-04T11:08:00.000-07:00

On June 3, 2006, I participated in an historic photographic event, Know War. http://www.knowwar.com

It was a project by NYC photographer Zach Gold http://www.zachgold.com

From the Know War website, "Imagine a photograph of more than 2,400 Americans strewn across a vast, desiccated expanse of desert. Know War is an ambitious non-profit project that aims to depict the human cost of the Iraq War by transforming the casualty number into a visible reality. This undertaking by renowned photographer, Zach Gold, will create an image that makes death come to life. Know War intends to raise continued public awareness by enabling people to visually understand the American death toll."

It was an awesome event and I'm glad I got to participate in it. The photo should be on the Know War site in about 10 days.
Tell everyone you can about it. Spread the word. Help stop the WAR!

Here are a couple of my photos from the event.

Pic 1. - laying down to strike our "dead" poses. Zach is in the crane on the right. Because only 50 people showed up, not 2500, we moved from place to place in the field and Zach shot the scene 50 different times. We changed positions and clothes as much as possible. He will photoshop it together to make it look like 2500 dead bodies, or approximately the number of American lives lost so far in Iraq. It didn't have the same impact that being there with 2500 people would have had, but the idea is there, and I think it will make a spectacular photo.

Pic. 2 - Taking a break from shooting. There were about 50 participants. The mountains made a spectacular back drop. The location is called Mystic Mesa, outside of Santa Clarita, CA., about 40 miles NW of my apt. LA. It is private property that is rented out as a filming location.

Pic. 3 - That's me with the photographer, Zach Gold, after the shoot. We were having a very nice conversation as someone was taking our picture.

It was a really fun way to spend an afternoon. Met some really cool people, and felt like I contributed something to the betterment of the universe.

Oh, you who scoff, I laugh in your general direction!

I'm a lite sleeper.

2006-05-04T12:31:00.000-07:00

I really am a lite sleeper. If a spider farts on the other side of the apartment, I'm gonna wake up. And so, as much as I love this new apartment I'm in, as much as I can appreciate the southern and western exposure that makes it sunny all day long, as much as I appreciate the balcony overlooking the Hollywood Hills and the Griffith Park Observatory, as much as I appreciate the central location - it is noisy.

I am an early riser. Maybe it's a habit from working production jobs for so many years, where 4 am and 5 am calls are common, but I just can't sleep late. The problem is that I love to stay up late too, so no matter what time I go to bed, I get up early. But getting up early on your own, or being awakened by something outside are two different things.

So here are some of my noisy tales of woe. What about you? Do you live in a noisy neighborhood? Feel free to share your tales here and I'll post some of your comments.

My building:
Thankfully my building is really quiet. There is a musician living right downstairs, but music is not a problem. I actually like hearing music in the building. Other than that, I barely hear or see my neighbors. Even the kids are quiet.
There is a common washer/dryer area in the hallway, just on the other side of our living room. While I can hear it, so far no one has been doing laundry at 3 AM, so it's not so bad. The advantage however is I just open the door and do my laundry. It's almost like it's in the apartment.

Car alarms:
As usual, in any urban neighborhood, people have car alarms, and this one is no different. The thing about car alarms, is that when one goes off, the only person who DOESN'T hear it is the owner of the car. I also think some people like to hear their car alarms, like it's music to their ears. "Hell, I paid for it, I'm gonna enjoy it". Beep - Bop - Beep!!! Yeah, we all like it as much as you, especially after the 20th time.

Ice Cream Trucks:
At 4:30 pm every afternoon an ice cream truck playing Pop Goes The Weasel comes by and sits on my street for about 15 minutes. The mechanical strains of a digital rendition of this royalty free tune being pumped out of a crackly old speaker soon get me all nostalgic for an Orange Dreamsicle and a sledgehammer with which to destroy the offending speaker. Luckily I don't have one.

The thing about incessant noise is how quiet and lovely it seems when it finally ends. Unfortunately, the silence doesn't last long, because at about 5 pm, just 15 minutes later, another ice cream truck stops on the street in front of my building and it stays there for about 15 minutes also. I don't know the name of the song it plays, but I call it The Really Annoying Song on Ice Cream Truck Number Two.

Garbage Trucks:
Thursday is garbage truck day on our block. Have you ever noticed that garbage trucks always seen to pick up at about 7am? How do they do that? Do they only work from 6 to 7 am and then knock off? How come I have never lived in a neighborhood where they pick up at say, three in the afternoon? It's really odd. My Dad used to joke that garbage collectors had a great job - thirty bucks and hour and all they can eat. And they only work an hour a day!

Lawn Work:
There are no alleys in my neighborhood. The backs of the buildings face each other. Not right up against each other, as there is usually parking behind each building. On Wednesdays, the building just behind ours, which faces our balcony, gets their yard work done. There is no grass, there are only patches of dirt, but at 7am (again at 7 am!!!) a man with a gas engine blower on his back comes to clean the side walks and walk ways of the apartment building. He starts on the second floor. The front doors of the apartments are on an exterior walkway. And he blows all the dirt from the common areas of the building from one side to the other, and then over the porch to the ground below. Then he does the same thing on the first floor, and then he does the side walk beneath the porch that leads to the back of the building where the garbage cans are.
He doesn't sweep, he doesn't pick up anything up, he just blows it around. What a system? And he does it right outside the door of all these apartments. If I am still in bed at seven, which happens once in a while, it sounds like he is in my closet blowing my clothes around, that's how loud the machine is. Maybe once in a while they can come at three in the afternoon and have tea with the garbage men?

Neighbors & Music:
Again, our building is really quiet, but the building in front of ours, and the buildings behind ours, (we're in the back apartment, so those affect us the most) are rather boisterous.
Late night parties where people gather to YELL REALLY LOUDLY are a common occurrence. The music, of course really loud so they can YELL OVER IT, would not be my first choice.
Weekends, there is someone in the adjacent building who feels it is his duty to share his mariachi music with the neighborhood, a sort of community sharing event. But hey, who doesn't like a good mariachi tune to get the day started?
I wish I spoke Spanish, and of course I know I should, but I wish I did so I could understand the lyrics to these songs. I imagine it is, like most pop music I can understand, really deep and touching on the emotions of the human condition.

Dogs:
Dog lovers - skip this section, you won't like it. I myself am not a "dog lover". I don't dislike dogs or domesticated animals, I just don't feel the need or the desire to keep one. I never had a dog growing up, which may be one reason, and the cats that lived in my house - I can't say they were mine - they weren't - never made me a cat person. I appreciate animals, I love the souls that they are, but I don't want to "own" one.

I don't go crazy when I see a puppy or a dog and feel the need to pet the beast. I don't think that "small fit in a purse" dogs are cute. And I wish that all the people who mistreat dogs and other animals -well I wish them a karmic payback some day.

So here is the thing, there is a dog in one of the adjacent building behind mine, that must be let out for only 15 minutes a day, and always at - you guessed it, around 6:30 to 7am. And since the dog doesn't get out much, it feels the need to sing, or bark, loudly and constantly the entire time. There is nothing quite like waking up to a dog barking at 6:30 in the morning, unless of course its a dog barking at a garbage truck, a leaf blower, and a car alarm.

Helicopters:
We live near the 101 Freeway, the 5, and the CA2. Car chases are a fact of life in southern California, and the media helicopters are always nearby to catch it live and can break into the regularly scheduled programming.
It's usually worse during rush hours, but evening helicopters are quite frequent. Yesterday I was watching the news and saw a story about a boy who was burned in a fire in the valley and was being rushed to a medical center in LA by helicopter. Then I left my apartment and drove a few miles to the Goodwill store on Hollywood Blvd, and saw that same helicopter landing on the roof heliport of the children's hospital. That was weird.

Birds:
And last but not least, the birds. The people in the second floor apartment whose balcony is just across from ours have four birds which they keep in two, I'm sorry to say, small cages. The blue and orange birds, (I'm not sure what species they are, but they are bigger than parakeets) are put out on the porch from morning to night, unless it is raining. Birds sing, they talk, they communicate, and sometimes they sing mariachi songs too. Oh, well, what can you say about birds? I wouldn't choose to keep birds in a cage, but of all the noises and sounds around my apartment, it is the most pleasant.

Children:
There are a lot of children in the building around me. That's cool. I like kids. I like hearing them playing and screaming and laughing and fighting. No complaints there.

Well, that's my posting today about my noisy neighborhood. I'm glad it was quiet for an hour so I could write this in peace.

Shhhh.

Peace.

© 2006 Noel Olken

America - I'm proud of you.

2006-05-02T08:46:00.000-07:00

Oh, America, you finally did it, you finally got off your ass and did something. Of course, it took the Mexicans, the Central Americans, the Asians, the dispossessed, the illegals, the immigrants, the " un-Americans", to get it started, but at least SOMETHING has started. May Day 2006 will go down in history. Across this country, millions and millions of people took the time, took the day off work, took the chance, to do something. A real force has been unleashed. The media was there to record it. The people were there to make it happen. And I was there too.

As you know, I lived in France for a while when I was younger. I was an illegal immigrant. I was undocumented for a time. I had no papers. I worked under the table. I did odd jobs. I worried about being stopped by the police. The advantage I had, of course, was that when I was stopped, (which happened quite frequently - especially during the terrorist bombings in Paris in 1988) I had an American passport to show. That pretty much ended the problem right there. But I haven't forgotten my time as an illegal alien. It will be with me always.

One thing I always appreciated about France, and still do, is that they will strike at the drop of a hat. Some labor trouble somewhere - strike for a day. Some bus driver was fired for running someone over - wild cat strike for a day. The price of tomatoes too low - drop a few tons of tomatoes on the Champs-Elysees. It's a pain in the ass, it messes things up, but hell, you get the day off work and you make a statement.

France is a Socialist country where every one has the right to health care and social benefits that put America to shame. And they will still risk it all to protest. We, however, who are not afforded these basic rights, do not have access to descent health care for all, can't be bothered. So, do you really think not making waves will get you what you want? Or only by making waves will we effect real change?

Here in America? The "free-est" country in the world, with a bill of rights to protect us, and no one has time to participate. Your government bombs a small country? What's on TV tonight? We go to war for no reason, or made up fantasy reasons? Oh, some starlet just had liposuction. The presidential election is stolen right out from under our noses, twice? Ho-hum, where are the comics? We stand by as millions of people are slaughtered in a genocide you can watch on TV? Hey, it's not our problem.

Americans are afraid to stand up and protest, to make their voices heard, get involved, work together and bring about change. No, who's got time? Who wants to get involved? Who wants to make waves?

Around the world, people do it all the time. They stand up for their rights, even when they don't have any. They stand in front of tanks. They get shot down by their own military. They raise their voices and make themselves heard.

And in America? A country built on protest and revolt? Please, except for a few hundred thousand hippies, lefties, communists, agitators, concerned students, Hollywood stars, and young people who don't know any better, Americans would rather stay at home watching TV and protect the status quo. Just keep pretending that the world is okay, that we aren't destroying the environment, that corporations really will take care of you, that we aren't hated around the world for the crimes of our government/military/industrial complex. Moo. Moo. Baa. Baa.

Not since the sixties, when the civil rights movement and anti-war protests shook things up, has something so interesting happened.

WTO rallies and marches? Who cares. Stop the war? Too marginal. Make 12 million *** illegal aliens felons? What? Hey, now wait a minute, that's just going too far. (*** 12 million is the number the media is using, who really knows.)

We really should thank Rep. F. James Sensenbrenner Jr. (R-WI) for proposing the extreme house bill that would have made illegal aliens felons. That was the spark that ignited this movement back in April. These people, and their supporters, both legal and non, American and non, have stood up and raised their voices.

It doesn't answer the question of illegal immigration. That is still a problem that is not going away. And a 700 miles fence will not stop someone from getting here if they really want to.

But I don't see Americans standing up and saying I want to pick lettuce, I want to wash dishes, I want to cook in a hot kitchen, I want to carve up cows in an abattoir, I want to bus tables at your summer resort - no, I don't see Americans flocking to fill those jobs. Would you let your sons and daughters bust their ass in a hot kitchen for $4.85 an hour? That's not a living wage. But if wages went up, wouldn't prices go up? "Inflation" cry the chicken little economists. Would you really stop eating in a restaurant if it cost on average a dollar more, knowing your food was being prepared by people making a decent wage in safe conditions? I wouldn't.

The other side of that coin, is, that more people are making more money, paying more taxes, spending more money. More money in the economy for the services we all depend on.

If there were no jobs, people would still come to The United States. America is as much a myth and a dream as it is a reality. And as long as we keep exporting that myth, and as long as we help create hostile conditions in other countries, people will come to America.

The illegal immigrant, who risks his or her life to get to America, who then has to live in fear of being caught, in fear of being sent back, will always come. They come here to work, to make a better live for themselves and their families. But because they are illegal, they have few of the protections afforded legal workers, basic rights like workers comp, fair wages, insurance, safe working conditions, protection from exploitation, and actually being paid for the work they do. They are being exploited every step of the way. Why? So we can pay a penny a pound less for lettuce and tomatoes? So you can get a .49 cent hamburger at a fast food joint? BTW, who is that person serving you?

Critics say (of course) that these marches and protests are bad for the cause, that there will be a back lash against the movement and no sympathy for the people. Forget it, that ain't gonna happen. More people will see the possibilities and be excited by the prospect for change.

America is waking up! Things are changing. And I am so damn happy.

So I went down to the march with my video camera, I wanted to document it and see what it was like. It really is amazing to see so many people in one place. Not a sporting event, not a rock concert, but a real movement for change. It was peaceful, it was fun, it was musical, it was like a family picnic with 500,000 of your closest friends. So many children, so many families. Something to remember.

I'll bet next year May Day becomes a real holiday, a real celebration of the workers of the world, like in other civilized countries. If so, I hope I can be there again.

Peace.

© Noel Olken 2006

Waiting for shots to be fired.

2006-04-16T13:23:00.000-07:00

Funny times we live in, huh? On the news last night was a breaking story about a drive-by shooting at a coming-of-age celebration in North Hollywood, CA that left 5 people wounded, three of them seriously. A drive-by is so common these days, that except for a "small circle of friends", who really pays attention? The events leading up to the shootings are always the same. There's a party, some people show up who either aren't allowed to enter or, they are at the party but then are asked to leave, either nicely or by force. They leave, but they return a short time later, with a gun and go all western on whoever happens to be outside when they show up. Such was the case last night. Someday when they teach classes about drive by shootings, that will be in the dictionary as a text book case.

Is it simply pride? Was it a fight between tribes? Was it an insult or a perceived insult that triggered the series of unfortunate events? Why do these shootings continue to take place? Is it the easy availability of cheap weapons or the easy availability of cars? What's the real reason a young person (it is mostly young people pulling the triggers) would risk a long jail sentence if caught? They almost always are caught because they almost always are known by someone else who was at the party. The media like to dwell on the pain and suffering of those who happened to be in the way of the bullets. They usually were not even the intended targets. There's always someone happy to talk to reporters and say how scary it was, or how the victim was so nice. But it happens all the time, and so we just accept it as normal. And on to our next story - oh that poor cat up in a tree. As a society, we never really question why these events take place, we just report them.

Anyway, there is a party going on in the building next door. A loud and raucous party. The music is loud, the talking is loud, the yelling and screaming and whooping and hollering is loud. If guns make a person feel brave, then alcohol makes a person loud. And after midnight, it just got louder. So I wondered, a loud party like that might attract attention. People might want to come in and see what's going on. The people there might not like that. Words might be exchanged, hard looks thrown, and soon, someone might come back with a few friends, like Smith and Wesson, or Colt or Glock? And what if the shots fired go astray? Is my window in the line of fire?
Happens all the time. Better close the shades and duck and cover.

So there I am, lying in bed, waiting for shots to be fired. Because that's what happens at loud parties where people have been drinking and words are exchanged, right?

I don't like guns. I twice had a gun pointed in my face. I didn't like it. Sweet dreams.

P.S. - Morning. Next day. The party is over. I didn't hear any shots last night. I'm safe for another day.

My First Gig in LA

2006-04-11T08:38:00.000-07:00

Hello. Thanks for all your comments. I really appreciate that people actually take the time to read this stuff and respond.

Anyway, I wanted to tell you about my first gig here in LA. It came from, of course, Craigs List, where I do all my shopping. I responded to an ad from a production company looking for people to try a new coffee maker and willing to give a taped testimonial about their experience. In exchange, you get the coffee maker.

Well, if you know me, you know I love coffee. So I responded, and the next day, a production assistant brought the Krups coffee maker you can see me holding, to my apartment. They also sent along some coffee to get me started.

It's a great coffee maker, really. And after doing some research, I discovered that the single serve coffee "pod" market is really big. There are dozens of review sites, blogs, and providers of these pods. You can even buy organic, shade grown, non-slave labor, unbleached cotton, environmentally friendly pods. Cool!

It's a little more expensive than buying bulk coffee, that is one draw back, but it is working out okay.

Next, I'll tell you about my 2nd gig, directing a short film, but I have to go to an audition now. Later.

Oh, did I tell you, I'm a Hollywood director?

peace

Stop me if you've heard this one...

2006-03-25T15:13:00.000-08:00

Okay, most of the time, I like to be serious as a heart attack. But, on occasion, I have been known to be a pretty funny guy. I think my observations about life, sometimes wry and sarcastic, can be pretty amusing. I'm not a stand-up, but I like to make up jokes and I can get out a few good one-liners. Usually when I'm not trying.

So it was with great surprise, even to myself, when I actually wrote a joke. It was about 12 years ago, and since it is the only "joke" I think I have ever wrote, I have always remembered it. You might say it is really a pun, but here it is:

Q: Why did the monkey go to the Crow Bar?
A: He was looking for a pry mate (primate)

Get it?

My Dinner with Steven

2006-03-10T08:31:00.000-08:00

Steven Soderbergh, Michael Apted, Taylor Hackford, Cameron Crowe, Haskell Wexler, Paris Barclay; these are just some of the people I had dinner with last night.

As a director, new to Hollywood, I found myself in pretty good company. Okay, I’m not that new, I have been here almost a week.

Okay, I didn’t sit at the same table as all those distinguished directors, but I was in the same room. Last night was the monthly Western Directors Council Meeting of the Directors Guild of America. I am a proud member of that distinguished guild, and so I may attend council meetings and observe, but not participate. I am invited to join the council for dinner before hand and listen to the proceedings of the night, until the privacy, council members only portion of the evening.

Michael Apted, Chairman of the council, ran the meeting. I can’t go into detail on the agenda, but most were not dealing with highly creative issues, but technical issues such as waivers to guild rules by individuals and studios. There was one interesting section about reality television and the lack of opportunity for guild members in that field.

I found it fascinating and exciting to be there. I hope to attend these monthly meetings in the future, not just for the free dinner, but also for the opportunity to meet and work with the council in the future.

Oh, yeah, I had just come from apartment hunting with Circus, who got into town earlier in the day, and we found an apartment. Today we put in the application. Hopefully we get accepted and move in early next week.

Searching for an apartment

2006-03-08T18:31:00.000-08:00

Atwater, Studio City, Los Angeles, Burbank, Korea Town, Larchmont, Glendale, Valley Village, Glassell Park, Pico, and of course, Hollywood. These are just some of the neighborhoods I have visited, driven through, or looked at apartments in; 14 in the last three days.

Let me back up a bit. I arrived in Los Angeles on Saturday afternoon. It was a beautiful drive from Phoenix; desert into mountains into the snow capped peaks outside LA. I love driving through the southwest.

I made a quick stop in Redlands, about 60 miles east of LA, to see my old friend Roberto. Roberto has been in California about 7 years. He got married, has a 4 year old son, and now has a critically acclaimed restaurant in Redlands called Farm. It was so nice to get a chance to say hello, have a sandwich, and catch up a little. Soon I got back on the road for the final 60 miles. I arrived in Burbank at Betty and Mike’s about 4:30. It was still warm enough for Betty and I to sit on the front porch, in the sun, and have a beer.

Sunday was the Oscars telecast. Betty and Mike invited me to their friends Reed and Marny’s house for an Oscar Party. They live in Hollywood, about a mile from the Kodak Theatre. It is the closest to the Oscars I have been, so far. I say so far because I will definitely attend an Academy Awards ceremony one day as a nominee. I’m getting closer all the time.

There were several connections to the Oscars there in that room. Reed had a role in Good Night and Good Luck, so we were all hoping that it would win an award. I was one of the many crewmembers Robert Altman thanked while accepting his lifetime achievement award. Yeah!

Monday morning I hit the ground running. I did a lot of driving around different neighborhoods I thought I wanted to live in. I made a lot of calls, but mostly I left a lot of messages. Some people returned, many didn’t.

It took a lot of time, and while I did get to see three apartments, I decided to join a rental service and get more leads. Westside Rentals is the most popular, and at 70 dollars for two months of listings, it’s not unreasonable. Soon I had thousands of listings to narrow down into usable choices.

Tuesday I saw about 7 or 8 apartments, I can’t keep them straight in my mind. I did lots of driving back and forth across the hills into the valley, out of the valley and back again.
The good thing is I am getting a crash course in Los Angeles geography and streets. I am really getting to know it and be more comfortable with it each day. But after seeing so many places, I was exhausted, and nothing I saw was any good.

The housing stock in LA is very different than in Chicago, where we have, I think, a much finer rental pool to choose from. Many of the places I saw in my price range, $1200 a month, (for a 2 bed/2 bath) were boxy and ugly, like the 4 plus ones you see on Sheridan Rd. in Rodgers Park. No style, no details, and mostly small and dirty. For $1200 a month in Chicago you could get a pretty nice place in a nice neighborhood, not here.

Today, Wednesday, I had more luck. I upped the price range and started seeing slightly better prospects. I saw some places I really liked. I decided to stop looking in the Valley. I want a real LA urban experience right now, and I want to be closer to all the action. Besides, if I live in the Valley I’ll end up working in Santa Monica, and if I live in Santa Monica, I’ll end up working across town in the Valley. In Hollywood, I’m right in the middle.

I think I found a couple of good ones that I will show Circus on Friday morning. Maybe we can just get one and move this weekend. That would be ideal.

It’s so wonderful that I have such a nice place to stay with Betty and Mike; they are so welcoming and accommodating, but I have to get started on my new life here, and the first step is having a place of my own.

I haven’t even been here 5 days yet, and yet it feels like I’ve been here a lot longer. There are many people I miss back in Chicago, one especially, and that is very difficult, but there is so much going on to keep me busy that the days pass quickly.

I must practice patience.

On The Road

2006-03-03T06:15:00.000-08:00

Days 1 & 2 of my driving trip to LA:

I don’t really feel like I am anywhere. I’m in New Mexico, yes, but I am traveling at 70 miles an hour. I watch the country pass by, but I’m still in my car! It’s a strangely cool sensation.

Day one went great. I packed from 5:30 am till 2:00pm. But it’s okay, I kept telling myself, because noon is the new 7am!

I tried to pack way too much stuff into my Jeep, so I ended up stopping at Fed Ex and shipping 7 big boxes to myself. I really tried to have all this done before the last minute, but I worked until 7:30 PM the night before I left!

I finally got on the road about 3PM. I just put on some tunes and wanted to put as much distance between Chicago and myself as I could the first night. No turning back now.
I made it as far as Rolla, MO, 400 miles, which is pretty close to where I wanted to be.

Day 2:

Waking up at 6, I was out the motel door by 6:30. Man I couldn’t get out of there quick enough.

Went next door to a place called the Waffle House. You’d think with a name like that, they could make a decent waffle? Uh-uh, not to be. And the grits, swimming in butter? I don’t think so.

Yesterday I drove through MO, OK, and TX, 758 miles to Tucumcari, NM. I like driving so it was easy. I listened to local radio part of the morning, and my playlist for yesterday included Jim White, Johnny Cash, Moby, Buckethead, Joni Mitchell, and some classical music.

If I wasn’t in such a hurry to get to California, I might have stopped along the way at some of the fine monuments along the way. Instead I passed up some fine roadside attractions. I missed Cadillac Ranch in Amarillo, I missed the worlds largest collection of precious moment statues, and the worlds biggest knife collection.

I really did want to stop in Oklahoma City and see the memorial to the Oklahoma City bombing, and the new federal building, but I didn’t. Another time.

I drove for 12 hours, and I was dreaming of a Margarita, chips and salsa, and a hot plate of Mexican food when I arrived. I got into Mountain time in NM, so I gained an hour when I arrived. I checked out the restaurant/bar at the motel and decided to drive through town instead. Well, on the whole 5 mile strip of old Rt. 66 that is Tucumcari, there was only one Mexican restaurant, and there were no cars in the parking lot at all, so I gave it a pass. There were only a couple of local chain restaurants, a Dean’s, and a Del’s, and they didn’t look too good to me either. So many motels; so few food options. Am I spoiled or what?

A disappointing Margarita and some mediocre appetizers back at the motel bar. They were out of chips! This is the southwest, how can you be out of chips? I wanted to ask the bartender. But she was too busy chewing loudly on her dinner at the end of the bar to hear me. “Just a sec”, she said to a new customer at the bar, holding up a finger and shoveling another forkful of food in her mouth. “I’wl be wight wit chew” she said with her mouth full.

Leaving Tucumcari in a few minutes. I’ll be in Phoenix tonight, 650 miles from here.
They have good Mexican restaurants in Phoenix.

Does anyone really care about this?

3.1.06

2006-03-01T05:19:00.000-08:00

One small step; that is all that separates me from here, to on my way to there.
Today is the day. If I had more time to prepare, I still wouldn’t be ready. I just have to go.
I’m taking a little more with me than a stick with a bandana tied to the end, but I couldn’t get my computer in a bandana. I always thought my Jeep was pretty big, until I started to pack it.

It’s hard not to think of oneself as the center of the universe, and really, that’s not a bad thing. It’s not as if my life, my trip, and my adventure is that important in the grand scheme of things, but it sure is to me.

Silly interpretive dance # 426: I’m on the jungle gym, the bars you crossed in the playground by grabbing on to the bar in front and swinging to the next bar, hanging a few inches above the ground. Only I’m not a few inches above the ground. These bars cross over a huge canyon. There is nothing below me for miles. I look down into the void, I look up into the sky, and I’m hanging here. I’m afraid. I let go of one hand. I look around again. I could scream, but no one would hear me. I smile. I let go. I fall, but I don’t keep falling. I am suddenly flying, flying over and out of the canyon. I am soaring. That is how I see my heroic journey going.

I’m going to write about my journey here, because I can. Read it if you want. Or go write your own story. It’s up to you.
Peace.

Jim White and the Handsome Family

2006-02-12T16:00:00.000-08:00

Jim White and the Handsome Family at the Old Town School of Folk Music
Chicago, IL Feb. 11. 2006

Jim White - http://jimwhite.net/

Okay, how do you answer the question, "If you were on a desert island, what three albums (CD's) would you absolutely have to have with you?"

I usually start by asking, "if I'm on a desert island how am I going to listen to music?” But then I was born sarcastic.

Let's say I have a solar powered iPod?

One of my top three albums would be Jim White's, The Mysterious Tale Of How I Shouted Wrong-Eyed Jesus. A difficult title, I agree, but an even more difficult and complex piece of music. I put this in the category of "perfect albums". Albums so complete and wonderful you can listen to them over and over and never get tired, and always hear them fresh. For me, there are a few albums like that. Brian Eno's Another Green World, Zappa's Hot Rats, (with the divine Peaches 'n Regalia) and Bach's Preludes.

I’ve listened to Wrong Eyed Jesus so many times, and I never tire of it. The music so haunting, the lyrics so beguiling, and Jim White’s voice so soulful. I sometimes listen to it over and over and hear something new each time.

So when I heard that Jim White was going to open for the Handsome Family, I knew we had to be there.

We had just seen a movie by Andrew Douglas called Searching For The Wrong Eyed Jesus, which featured Jim White. It was based on the album, but different. Andrew Douglas obviously liked the album so much he wanted to use it as a starting off point for a film. The Handsome Family appear in the film, in two or three wonderful musical interludes. On one, they are on the roof of a house that is floating along a river. And this was just after Katrina hit.

I wasn’t as excited about the movie as I am by the album, mainly because I wanted to hear more music, but it was a neat film which will be released on DVD in March, so check it out.

But back to last night’s concert. Jim takes the stage, a solo performer with a blond Telecaster and a “band” of digital toys, (Mr. Drum machine, Mr. Looper # 1, Mr. Looper #2). He created these textured layered backgrounds for his songs to ride on with guitar parts, backing vocals and wind sounds, and a little breath powered keyboard. And it’s magical the way you watch him blow a few notes into the looper and then sing along with his creation, right in front of you. A couple of times the digital technology got away from him, but for the most part he was so adept at it that it felt seamless.

Mixing songs from Wrong Eyed Jesus and his new album, Drill A Hole In That Substrate And Tell Me What You See, his set of a little more than an hour was simply magical. He likes to talk and tell stories between songs, and sometimes his between song banter was longer than the song. But I liked hearing him, it added something too the music for me, to know a little bit more about the person I am listening to. Like his story of being rejected by the Scientologists in Amsterdam was inspired.

He alludes to a sort of imbalance in his life, a sort of instability due to his mind working very fast and his need to catch up to it, and all the religious brainwashing he received as a child, and his need to figure it out. But he has such a wonderful sense of humor about himself, that it isn’t sad or scary, but charming. Very charming. A uniquely gifted performer who knows how to tell stories only he can tell. His musical style is wide-open chords, ethereal notes ringing out, layered and textured. He plays effortlessly, almost not moving, his fingers barely hitting the strings. He looks down most of the time he’s singing, and apologized to the audience in the balcony that they have to look at the top of his head most of the time because he “genuflects” while he sings, and thinks about other things.

Signing CD’s and posters in the lobby after his set, he took the time to speak with everyone who wanted to say hello, gracious and gentle, especially with the “2nd grader” who wanted to have a poster signed. Jim gave him a hat from his suitcase of used clothes he sells at his “Jim-boutique” after gigs. “Celebrity - worn clothing at thrift store prices”.
A unique performer you should try to see someday.

The Handsome Family - http://www.handsomefamily.com/

Then the Handsome Family took the stage. Rennie and Brett Sparks. A husband wife duo, joined on the slide guitar by man whose name I just can’t remember. He added a lot to their music, though, playing electric slide guitar, mandolin and violin.

The handsome Family’s music has been described as alternative country and Americana. It is dark and haunting stuff. Songs of ghosts haunting malls, bottomless wells, dead girls, and self-destruction.

The first thing you notice though is Brett’s booming and magnificent baritone. I would kill for a voice like his. How wonderful to be able to sing so effortlessly. He just opens his mouth a little and this amazing sound comes out, so controlled, so pure. Rennie sings harmony and plays bass guitar, while Brett played a beautiful old Gibson acoustic. And just so you don’t think they are too folk music-y, they use a laptop on stage playing a rhythm track to almost all their songs.

The only album of theirs I own is the Live at Shuba’s from 2002, that their website says is now out of print. It’s a very funny show, and I wasn’t sure if they would be like that last night or not. They were a little more subdued, buts till very playful and very funny between songs. They appear very relaxed and comfortable on stage, even when they fretted about playing a new song and forgetting a verse. Their music is easy to get lost in, easy to drift off into the images they create.

The Handsome Family website is a fun place to poke around and get to know them a bit. Reading about their personal lives and past just make them so much more interesting.

Last night was one of the best shows I’ve seen in a long time. The Old Town School is an intimate venue with great sound. The two acts were so connected and complimentary, they worked so well together. It doesn’t surprise me that they enjoy touring together.

Jim White, and Rennie and Brett Sparks all seem to have been able to overcome some personal demons by using humor and music to find a way to themselves. And I am glad they have chosen to share that with the world.

As a musician, as a music lover, as a song writer and as a performer; I was inspired. Thank you.

Going to California. Its time.

2006-02-02T13:30:00.000-08:00

There are big changes ahead for me this year. I've never been one to just sit around and wait for things to happen. When I do, I'm never happy. I like action and adventure. So, in a few weeks, I'll be loading up my car, saying goodbye to friends and family, and moving across country to Los Angeles, California. Hollywood - home of the film industry. That's where I want to be. That's where I have to be.

16 years ago, after years of being a wandering traveler and a five-year stint in Europe, I moved back to Chicago. I have really enjoyed it. Chicago, my hometown, city of my childhood and my most lasting memories, is the place where I discovered who I am, met my wife, and found so much inspiration from the friends I have around me.

It's where I learned the craft of filmmaking. I worked for many years as a location manager, got into the DGA, and directed my first feature film. I am known as an independent producer, and closely associated with the IFP/Chicago, having served seven years on the board of directors of that fine organization. Many know me as the producer of the feature film, Cup Of My Blood, directed by Lance Catania, which I brought from a script to worldwide distribution. If you haven't seen it, you should check it out.

I didn’t even know how important it was to me to move to California until I decided to do it. A decision I made with my significant other. The lovely and amazing Kris C. has encouraged me to run off and join the circus! With support and encouragement like that, how could I not do it? With a woman in my life who wants only the truth for me, how will I not succeed?

The Beatles sang, “All you need is love”. Well, what do you do with all that love when you get it? The answer is, you will do amazing things. It's true for me. True for us. True wins! Just gimme the truth! (John Lennon)

Why did Dillinger rob banks? Because, he rightly concluded, that’s where the money was. I am a filmmaker in search of my next film. Los Angeles is where the film business is.

I’m so sorry Chicago; don’t look at me like that, like I’m ah, ah, like I’m a traitor. I can’t take it when you do that. I know I said I would always be a Midwest filmmaker, and I will, I just won’t be in the Midwest! I’ll try to come back, I promise. You know how sometimes people just can’t see you until you go away? That’s what I think will happen. You’ll see.

Like I told someone today, I love making films, I don’t care what my role is, I just love being a part of the process. I’ve produced, directed, written, acted, edited, composed, done foley and ADR, location scouted, P.A’d, made the coffee, parked the trucks, and once, I even got yelled at by a director for not picking up his dirty laundry.

That will never happen on one of my films, I can guarantee you that. People like to work on my films. I take care of people, we have fun, and the work is better for it.

Why leave home to join the circus?

I am moving to LA to be a director, an actor, a writer, and a musician, kind of in that order. I know what you might be saying, how can you do all that? There are so many people there already! Well, I don’t want to hear it. There is only one of me, and no one can do or would do what I do. Yeah, I’m unique and special all right.

I am getting so many good ideas and clear visions for what I want to do there. How I am going to accomplish all this, you ask? I don’t know yet. I’ll figure it out. I am not worried that I don’t have a place to live yet, let alone all the answers to all the questions. It’s coming to me. I just trust that if I follow my heart, and live my dreams, the dream will come true.

You see there is nothing to be afraid of, except not doing what you really have to do this lifetime. Identifying it is the first step. For me, once that’s done, the rest is easy.

Years ago I just picked up and moved to France. I didn't even speak the language; I just knew I had to be there. It all worked out pretty well. And when I decided I wanted to be somewhere else, I just moved again. For me, it’s just that easy.

Well, that's the story of my move to Los Angeles. Drop in again soon, as this blog will become more active and posts will appear more often. Maybe even everyday. Wow, what a concept.

Peace out and wish me luck.

Noel

Where does time fly to when it flies?

2005-12-17T06:27:00.000-08:00

Six weeks without a posting. My fans scream angrily at me. They cancel their subscriptions and disown me from their on-line life. Oh, the shame. I promise to do better. I will. Happy Holidays to all.

Dear Imad Knipp

2005-12-17T06:15:00.000-08:00

Dear Imad Knipp:

You can not imagine how excited and happy I was to receive your correspondence via email today. Oh, heaven must surely be looking favorably upon me. And your generous offer to provide me with Va Lium, Cia Liss and Via Gra at such wonderful and competitive prices! Including free shipping from a far off and distant land to the north of me. Oh, you are too kind.

I too am desperately trying to find a train of thought by screaming into the mouthpiece. Isn't that a coincidence? Anyway, the birthday party was ruined by a crazy Jihad faction that wasn't invited. "Get out of Virginia" I told him in a crazy monotone, "come here and stay cold". He didn't listen. Then you boarded the Concorde for Karachi and flew like the actual unimportant Armbruster that you are. Who will pick you up? Do you have an umbrella? Listen to me. The jackal did this, didn't he?

Double my order. Now cancel it.

Please write again soon. Oh, I am sure of it.

best,

Noel

Costume Awards for Dollar Store Man

2005-10-30T12:40:00.000-08:00

Well here it is, another Halloween, and another award for one of my HIGH CONCEPT Costume creations, Dollar Store Man. My prize at Helen and Michael's Party last night? A pound of coffee! Wow, what more could a guy want!

The idea for Dollar Store man came out of nowhere, somewhere in the eighth inning of World Series Game 3, between pitches, it just hit me. So I visited several $ Stores for inspiration and accessories, et voila, a costume that makes you think. What's so scary about dollar stores you ask? Have you been in one lately?

Not since I won two Bears tickets a few years ago dressed as the scariest food in the world, TOFU, have I really dressed for Halloween.

So what will I be next year? How about a successful Hollywood Producer? Oooh, scary!

Red Hot White Sox

2005-10-23T07:06:00.000-07:00

Congratulations to the Chicago White Sox and all their fans on their spectacular win in the World Series 2005.

I didn't know when I woke up Saturday that I would be going to Game 1 of the World Series in Chicago. But I did. And I had a great time seeing the White Sox beat the Houston Astros 5-3. I screamed and cheered and booed and drank beer and high fived strangers around me. I know many people are probably reallly mad that I, a Cub fan, who hasn't been to US Cellular Field since it was called Comisky Park, got in. But that's how life works sometimes, and I'm not going to worry about it.

You see, I don't buy into the whole Cubs/Sox rivalry, except when they are playing each other. That in itself is a rather new event, since the invention of interleague play. On those rare six games a year, I want the Cubs to win, as always. So I happily admit, I am a Cubs fan, but I am also a baseball fan.

I love the game of baseball and I love to watch it no matter who is playing. I love to go to different stadiums and be a part of the crowd. Sure I played little league ball as a kid, but I wasn't very good. Mostly I played street ball and backyard ball and spent the greater part of most summers hitting balls around the neighborhood. Most kids did. It was fun, it was cheap, it was a good way to fight with my brother about every other call. " Hey, you didn't touch first!"

When the very long basesball season gets down to the final seven games; each pitch, each hit, each run, seems bigger. The energy in the crowd Saturday was supercharged. This is not just a baseball game. The World Series is an event bigger than a single game, where every pitch counts.

I'm glad to be celebrating along with all Chicagoans tonight. I'm really happy the Sox won. And maybe next year, it will be the Cubs!

A groovy day

2005-10-20T06:40:00.000-07:00

Today is my life of Riley day. Whoever was Riley anyway? Anyway, today I wake up, drink coffee, and go play a doctor in a short film. After that, I come back home, work on my trip to LA for a while, and go to band practice later. Acting and music, a good day.

A round number.

2005-10-19T07:30:00.000-07:00

Its been over a month since my last post. I do that sometimes; ignore my responsibilites. I know I should write, but I don't.

Anyway, today seems like the day to write again. I have three friends who are born on this day. That's a lot of friend's birthdays for one day. It's the only day of the year I can think of like that. My birthday comes in second, I have another friend who I share that particular day of birth with. Some one somewhere is born each and every day. It works.

So today is a day to write about birth and age. S turns 47, J turns 50, and M is 56. Is there some connection there? Maybe not. 50 is a round even number. We like round even things a lot, don't we? I think if the vote for president were between a round even thing and square odd thing, even would win by a landslide. Why is 50 so important an age? Why do we consider each new decade so important? I've always believed each new year, even or odd, to be the most important. Hurray! I'm still allive - another year. Are these just the ramblings of someone approaching 50?

Kris accused me of being in a mid-life crisis yesterday. Well I am in mid life, but a crisis? I don't think so. I haven't gone out and bought a little red sports car, I haven't decided I have to jump from an airplane. No, I just produce movies, play in arock and roll band and take piano lessons. Is that a crisis?

I feel like traveling to India for a few months, to wander aimlessly in a foreign land. Is that a crisis? If it helps me get to the next big round number, it can't be bad.

Happy birthday my friends.

My Biggest Fear

2005-09-18T07:50:00.000-07:00

What's your biggest fear? What scares you the most? Airplanes, elevators, spiders, rats? We all have something that scares us. Maybe even a myriad of phobias? Well, today, I am going to tell you about my biggest fear, the one thing that scares me most of all. I don't think there is a name for this phobia yet? I don't think there is a support group either. But maybe if I talk about it, share my fear, I'll feel better, and maybe others of you who share this phobia will feel better too.

I have never spoken about this with anyone, not even Kris. But here I go...

I am afraid that I will drop my keys down a sewer or a man hole cover grate and lose them, be trapped somewhere without my keys. Car keys, house keys, it doesn't matter.

Have you ever parked your car and then opened the door to see you are next to a sewer grate in the street? What if my keys slipped out of my hand and fell through the holes of the grate? What if, as I were going around to the passenger side of the car to get something, as I opened the door my keys slipped out of my hand and fell into the gutter and down the sewer? Is this unreasonable? Hasn't this happened to others? This scares the shit out of me, really.

But while I admit I am scared by this, I am also very proactive. I have learned to deal with my phobia in a myriad number of ways.

One, when I am looking for a parking spot, if I see a sewer grate or other unnamed hole in the ground near the designated spot, I will keep driving, even if I am late for a meeting with Steven Spielberg. Fortunately, I have never kept Steven waiting, but if I did, I am sure he would understand.

Two, just in case I missed a sewer or hole, after I park, with the car still running, I open my door and look at the street, both directions, sometimes even looking under the car. Satisfied there are no holes nearby, I turn off the engine, and gripping the keys firmly in my right hand, I remove them from the ignition. When I say firmly, I don't mean firm enough to cause the keys to break through the skin of my hand and cause serious injury, but just firmly enough to know that the keys will not fall out of my hand accidentally and fall into some unknown sewer grate or hole in the ground that should happen to appear in my path.

Three, I know where my keys are at all times. As soon as possible I either put the keys in my pocket, which have been carefully checked for holes before I put my pants on that morning, or, if I must hold the keys in my hand, I will slip a finger through the ring and close my finger around it so I am sure they will not fall.

As you can see, I have found a way to deal with my fear in a healthy and sane manner. Unreasonable as my fear may be, I don't let it stop me from pursuing a myriad of lifestyle activities and leading an active career in the entertainment industry.
And being in the entertainment industry, I like to use the word myriad as often as possible.

One of the myriad benefits of my fear of losing my keys down a sewer grate is, I won't drive after I have been drinking. Drinking leads to impaired vision and motor skills, which might lead me to miss a sewer grate and in my inebriated state, to joyfully toss my keys in the air for no reason other than I am inebriated and prone to doing stupid things. What if, in that joyous toss of my keys, I didn't catch them and they fell down a hole? I may not even know in my drunken stupor what I had done? But I am sure the hangover the next day would not be pretty.

What would I do if my keys did fall through a sewer grate? What if my worst nightmare came true? Well, I have thought about that, a lot. I have an emergency key down a sewer grate kit in my car. In it I keep a high powered xenon flashlight with extra batteries, a set of fishing hooks and sinkers, 1000' of hi-test 50 pound fishing line, 3 metal coat hangers, and a crow bar, for removing the grate in case I have to descend underground. Fortunately I am not claustrophobic, afraid of the dark or rats. Those compound phobias would be quite disastrous to my plans.

You know in the movies you always see the hero reaching for something that is just out of reach? Well, If my keys fall and I get a visual on them, that won't happen to me. I'll be prepared.

I feel better now that I have shared my worst fear publicly. And I only hope that if you too share this dreaded fear of losing your keys down a sewer grate, that you feel better too. Maybe you even have a few more precautionary tips you can share with me? Maybe you even have a name for this phobia? We have to stick together on this, and hold our keys tight.

© 2005 Noel Olken

My job this week

2005-09-14T05:39:00.000-07:00

I'm working on a television commercial this week. This one is for a national home improvement center.
I love working on television commercials. The pace is so relaxed. The people are so honest and straight forward. Everything they do is thoughtful and based on common sense. They are always so nice to each other. They have the ability to decide something and stick to it. They really commit. You would think with so many different people having to come together to create something, that the decision making process would get bogged down in petty disagreements and bickering, but no, it's the oppposite. They work together flawlessly. It never breaks down like a big three headed monster trying to eat its own tail. Like John Roberts, future supreme court judge, they have no agenda. No agenda but to cooperate and work harmoniously with one another.

And the work, well, advertising in general, and television commercials in particular, are probably the most creative venue available to young men and women to pursue today. Commercials celebrate the independent spirit of America. The brightest and best minds of our generation are working on television commercials.

Haven't you noticed how funny they are? And how visually they push the envelope of cinematic creation? Its inspiring, really, to a guy like me who dreams of one day having a career in the film industry.

And while the midwest is full of talented people, you know the best and brightest of them all, the ones who reallly know what they are doing come from NY or LA. Man, I love working with people from out of town, they have so much to teach me.

And the toys they get to play with? Wow, renting all the neatest coolest gadgets from the rental house is so much fun, even if they never get to use them because they ran out of time. Why we only get to work 18 hour days isn't fair. We should keep going. Like on music videos. They really know how to party on set!

It is going to be hard next week when this job is over and I have to go back to making my little feature films. Oh well, I'll deal with it, I guess.

Where's the bank?

Peace, y'all.

2 True Stories

2005-09-14T05:15:00.000-07:00

These are good. The first one comes from my friend Lance M, who plays Alex in our film, Cup Of My Blood. He told me he got a call from a friend of his serving in the National Guard in Iraq. He called from Iraq to tell him he and his buddies had just watched a bootleg copy of Cup Of My Blood. The video isn't even out a week yet and pirated copies are in Iraq. The good thing is, and I think its cool, just like Disney and Universal, we are being affected by global pirating. We've made it to the big time! The even better thing, the service men & women liked the movie. Hey what's not to like?

Story # 2 - So I go into my local Blockbuster Sunday to see if any of the DVD's are rented and how many are still on the shelf. I turn the corner and look at the shelf where they are, just as a woman is picking one up. She reads the front, she turns it over, she reads the back. I'm just watching, wondering what she'll do. I don't say anything. She turns it over again, she's thinking. She keeps it and walks away. I actually walked in at the precise moment to see someone rent our film. That was so cool. 2 of the 4 DVD's at that store were out.

Peace, y'all.

The DVD is on the shelves

2005-09-07T06:08:00.000-07:00

Okay, enough of all this tragedy, I got something really important to talk to you about.
Yeah, that's right, after almost two years of work, I got a movie on the shelves of video stores across the country.
Well, not in certain Parishes in the south, but hey, when they get their DVD players hooked up and running again, I'll send them some copies to take their minds off the fact they just lost everything they ever had.

But the rest of you people out there can buy or rent it. Cup Of My Blood! Check it out!

That's me in my local Blockbuster on opening day checking it out in the store!

Just like Catch - 22

2005-09-02T19:57:00.000-07:00

The scene down in New Orleans reminds me of something out of Catch 22. Milo Minderbinder (played by George W. Bush in the TV series) sells the country on a tax break and a war, promising that it will make us safer. With his trusty side kick, the head of Homeland IN-Security, they fly about the country spreading the good news! Oh the hi-jinks they get into.

When a little storm hits a small Southern and mostly black part of the country, and people need help, safety, and the security George promised them, they reach out to George. He's not there. No one is there to hear them. (They must be on vacation.) But then, finally, emergency kits are provided. Help trickles in. They open the emergency kits - but they're empty except for a small piece of paper. The paper says, " Good people of America, all our resources have gone into saving the good people of Iraq. Doesn't that feel good? We all win by building a stronger, Democratic Iraq. You have a share. George".

Oh George, you joker!

How's your vacation been this summer?

Mines been pretty good. But we've had a drought up here.

Can you help us?

I Wish I Was In New Orleans

2005-09-02T19:04:00.000-07:00

My thoughts go out to all the people in FL, LA, MS, AL and everywhere affected by the hurricane Katrina. I have fond memories of the winter I spent in New Orleans; playing music on the street (and getting arrested for it) playing in a strip club, eating lots of red beans and rice (a buck a plate, can't beat it!) hanging at a cafe called "Until Waiting Fills", selling Mylar balloons at the Mardi Gras Parades, (How Much? Keep walking!), living in Amzies attic, getting completely wasted on Mardi Gras, and finally hopping a freight train out of town with Jane (sex on a moving freight car, as I remember, was not all its cracked up to be).

Those two months were magical, and I will never forget them.

I'm listening to Tom Waits' song, I Wish I Was In New Orleans. It is so beautiful, and is one of those songs that I always sing to myself; more this week than usual.

I only visited New Orleans twice after that winter, once when I was traveling with Nirvana, my Italian girlfriend, (we got the crabs on that trip - probably from the flea bag motels we stayed at) and once when I was in a traveling theatre company and we had a weekend gig in N.O. It was Bourbon St with an expense account that time, and I think we had a good time.

I want to go back to New Orleans when they rebuild. I want to see it again. I'm going to donate some money, and I'm going to think about those people down there and send them some positive energy. I hope they come through this. I want to be at the first jazz Fest in N.O. when they resume. I'm gonna drink a Hurricane!

"Make sure there's a Dixie moon,
New Orleans, I'll be there."
from I Wish I was In New Orleans by Tom Waits

Katrina - you're a bitch!

Our Theatrical Debut

2005-08-26T17:23:00.000-07:00

August 19: A fabulous night at the Gene Siskel Film Center in Chicago. Cup Of My Blood began it's theatrical run to a sold out and enthusiastic house. Cast and crew, friends and family, and strangers off the street alike witnessed the first public screening.

I couldn't be happier that we made it this far, in just under two years, practically unscathed.

August 24: I went back to the theatre tonight for the first time since Friday. It was fun to sit in the lobby and watch people come out of the theatre, and not know any of them. Then watching people arrive and buy tickets for the next screening, and it starts filling up with people.

August 25: Closing night, a good crowd, a sold out final screening. Lance can't be there, he's stuck up in Milwaukee working on the creature feature. Ken and I do a Q & A.

It was a good run. It feels good to have a movie in a theatre. Now I want the next movie to open to wider release, say about 2800 screens initially, and maybe go up from there! Yeah!

But still, making a movie and seeing it in a theatre and next week on DVD in thousands of stores across the country, really, how many people can do that?

Next, "Hey, you gonna rent that?"

Another opening of another show

2005-08-19T06:45:00.000-07:00

(Photo of the producers, Ken Nilsson, Lance Catania, and Noel Olken by Jonathan Cohon)

Tonight the film I produced, Cup Of My Blood, opens at the Gene Siskel Film Center in Chicago. The director, Lance Catania, and co-producer Ken Nilsson and I will be there to celebrate almost 2 years of work. For Lance and Ken who co-wrote the script, it's been even longer.

We play at the Film Center for one week, and then the movie opens nationwide on DVD Aug 30th.

Checked the two biggest dailies in town this morning. The Sun Times gave us a 1 1/2 star review. Ouch! There was nothing in the Chicago Tribune. Shit! Lance just called to read it to me. It's awful. The guy simply didn't get it. It hurts to get a bad review. I should know, I've been getting them my whole life. But it has never stopped me, never made me quit, never made me give up. And it never will. I go on with the next song, the next movie, and the next play. I do the best work I can. I always get better. That to me is the success. Never give up!

On the bright side, Wes Craven's new film Red Eye, a big budget Hollywood film also got 1 1/2 stars. And we got a better review than Dukes Of Hazard! It's a very funny business.

The weeklies, The New City and The Reader, but gave us good capsule reviews. Ray Pride in the New City had nice things to say.

The audience response so far has been very positive, people like our film.

I guess a group of people who spend two years of their lives on an artistic journey making a gargantuan effort to produce a film is just so ordinary these days.

Next up: Marketing is the key to success in this business.

A wrap up

2005-08-18T16:44:00.000-07:00

So, Edinburgh didn’t go as planned. Tough shit and oh well. I’m getting over that. In fact, I think I rather like having such a unique experience, as difficult as it was. I’m sorry James’ Dad had to die, and in fact I wish he hadn’t so I could have had a normal go to the festival do your show and come home kind of experience. Like I said, tough shit and oh well.

Want to make God laugh? Tell him your plans.

It was still a great trip to a fun world. I love art, theatre and film festivals. Seeing other people’s work, meeting them, and getting drunk with them. It was a chance to learn more about another market and see that art is as much about marketing as it is about content.

I will return to Edinburgh again some day, I know it. But now that I am back, I have a movie to open.

My Last full day in Edinburgh.

2005-08-18T07:40:00.000-07:00

(Photo of Rawiri Panatene, star of The Whale Rider, and Noel Olken at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival 2005)

For those of you who don’t like long detailed entries, on my last day in Edinburgh I saw five shows, walked a lot, and stayed out late drinking. End of story. Don’t read any further.

Read on if you want all the details…
I had a plan for my last full day at the festival; to see as many shows in as many venues as possible. But first, I had to deal with Fed Ex and shipping the boxes of props back to Chicago. With that out of the way, I stayed at the Roxy and saw a solo dance piece presented by the Mexican company that brought the movement piece I liked so much.
I’m not a big dance fan, so of course it was hard to keep my eyes open, even though she was making so much noise. All I could think about were all the other shows going on at the same time at the Roxy who were hearing someone stomp on their lines. Flamenco is loud shit, man. I’m glad we weren’t booked at the same time. Something to be thankful for!

After the show, I went to check email downstairs in the café. Many venues have free
wi-fi as an incentive to come in. It works.

That done, I went back to High Street, wandered around awhile, went to get a Fringe catalog and find a show for the afternoon. Ducking into a falafel shop to get out of the rain, I spoke to Kris who called to say hi. It was so nice to hear her voice. I missed her, and I knew I wanted to go home, but I was already missing this fantasy world I was in.

I went to the Gilded Balloon, a long established venue and saw a funny show about a guy who fucked with the people who sent him one of those Nigerian spam letters. For 11 months he lead them into thinking he was a rich rube. The show was basically an edited transcript of his email correspondence over 11 months. Simple, funny, smart.

Then I had dinner at Black Bo’s, a vegetarian restaurant. Food good, service not so good.
What is it with service in Scotland? It sucks!

Then off to the Underbelly for The Bicycle Men show from LA. I missed it when it played in Chicago. It was good, it was funny, it was well performed, glad I got to see it.

Then back to the Gilded Balloon to see a German comic I met on the street do his set with two other comics, one English, one Canadian. It was weird, mildly funny, but not very good. Trying too hard to be shocking and they never really achieved any kind of connection with the audience. A couple of good hecklers, though, that kept them on their toes.

Then I went back to the Roxy to see the cabaret show. Linda, the house manager had been inviting me since we first arrived. The show consists of a woman who interprets Brecht and Weill songs with a quartet backing her up. Good, okay. I like Brecht and Weill.

Then back to the Zoo to say goodbye to my friends from New Zealand whose show, Cracks In The Garden I really liked.

A friend of theirs, a New Zealand actor had come to see the show and we all hung out afterwards at the Spiegel tent. Their friend was Rawiri Panatene, the grandfather in The Whale Rider, one of my favorite movies. I love that film. It was so nice to meet him, and what a great guy. There is a picture of us at the top of this post. We got to hang out until they kicked us out of there.

Well, it was a long day, but since I knew I was going home in a few hours, I didn’t care how late I was out.

It was a long day Tuesday traveling home on crowded planes with cold cheese sandwiches and a thick girl in the seat next to me who didn’t know how to keep her elbows out of my airspace. Where’s homeland security when you need them?

Next up, a recap and wrap up of the trip to Edinburgh 2005.

Fringe Sunday

2005-08-14T15:01:00.000-07:00

Today, most venues are dark and most shows have a day off. Not all, but most. In the Meadows, a huge park about 15 minutes walk south of High Street, a huge circus like event was taking place. There were about 10 tents set up to showcasse theatre and music shows taking place in the Fringe. It was a wild party like atmosphere, people camped out on blankets with pic-nic lunches, the High Street buskers doing their pitches in the park.

Of course everyone who usually gives out flyers and postcards on High Street were there as well, trying to desperately get an audience. I spoke with a guy from Northhampton, MA who told me they are in a 200 seat venue and are playing to 10 people a day. They brought a car as part of their set. A car! Stripped of engine and other non essential parts, they shipped the body of a huge american car. And I thought we shipped a lot of stuff. They are hurting for an audience.

There were some new street shows I hadn't seen before. It's interesting to me how the buskers are taking advantage of new technology, like wireless mic's and portable sound systems. But other than that, the juggling shows, the magic shows, the acrobats and the clowns are all the same as when I was on the street a lot in Paris in the 80's.

I saw a good violinist who had a unique hook. He played with a back up tape, classical and rock tunes, while he was standing on a tight rope, on one foot. Steve, you should try that!

Tonight I'm taking myself out for Indian food and go hear some music. there is an open mic I may go play at as well.

I'll send the spaceships round to pick you up.

2005-08-14T05:13:00.000-07:00

Lines from the play continue to travel through my brain. What can you say about the brain?

We did the show as a staged reading on Friday. We found an American actor at the Roxy to read the part of Henry Goodbar, and David found a Scottish woman to read the part of the Siren. Pat's wife Robin read the stage directions and narrated. It was a good reading, just going back to the source, the text, James' original vision. It worked, it was the best way to present the work since we couldn't do the full show. But only three people showed up.

David decided we needed a mental health day. He cancelled yesterday's performance. So we got good and drunk on Friday to celebrate our closing.

Last night Pat and I were walking by the theatre at about show time, so went to the space, stood in the empty theatre, said goodbye. It would have been funny if someone showed up on the night we cancelled.

Pat and I wandered around to some of the other venues, like the Pleasance Courtyard, a huge complex of theatres and beer gardens. We heard a comedian joke the other night that the Pleasance keeps adding new spaces. They now have shows going on in a storage container. And it's true, they do. They rigged out a shipping container as a space for a small show. This festival is amazing.

Saturday, David and I went to see a show by a Mexican company that was at the Roxy. The director and one of the actors both studied in Paris at the same time I did, at the same schools I did, twenty years ago. They work in the corporeal mime/Etienne Decroux technique. I loved it. It was so beautiful. This is the work I studied and did for 5 years. They had an audience of 5.

American high school productions of Guys and Dolls are packing them in, and amazing work like the Mexican's are doing can't find an audience. I hear the same complaint from other companies as well.

Pat and I saw a hilarious show last night by chance. We were at the Pleasance having a beer, when two women from New Zealand, out on the street husting up an audience 5 minutes before their show, gave us an invite. We had just gotten a beer, but we snuck it out and walked up the street two minutes to The Zoo. Their show, Cracks In The Garden, was great. Pat laughed so much it made the other the 7 people in the audience laugh even more. They were so glad we came and helped make the show. Fun stuff like that happens when you are open to it.

The raucus bouncing on the bed had no effect on ... the subject. The festival did.

Elvis, Otto, and me.

2005-08-12T09:30:00.000-07:00

One of the joys of street performing is that you never know what will happen.
Two days ago while we were playing, a German accordian player who goes on after us, Otto, pulled out his instrument and joined us on Like A Rolling Stone.

Yesterday, same place, same time. Pat is in his Elvis costume, I am dressed like the Duke of Prunes, and Otto, in his traditional German leiderhosen, joins us for a few numbers. It was so much fun. So surreal. As so much of this trip has been.

I'll post a picture of it later.

It's a real trip!

2005-08-12T07:29:00.000-07:00

James and Carla left on Wednesday. We got together in the park under the castle on Prince St. in the afternoon and rehearsed the play as we would do it later that evening. That night, in front of five people, we announced to the audience what had happened, and what they were going to see. Pat and I took turns as Henry Goodbar in the bed. It was strange, but remember, for the audience seeing the show the first time, it's not so strange.

After the show we decided not to try the complicated staging and costume changes fro Pat. He said at one point he felt like he was in a skit on the Carol Burnett show, changing wigs and going back on as another character.

Thursday morning we got a warm review in the Scotsman. Three stars out of five, a comparison to the Wooster Group, and he said we performed with skill and verve. See the whole review at

http://www.edinburgh-festivals.com/reviews.cfm?id=1759682005&sid=10450

We were all buoyed by the review and it brought up the energy a bit.

For Thursday's show, we laid Henry's hat and goggles on his bed. Pat read him from backstage, and I resumed my usual blocking. At show time, we had no audience. We waited until seven after, and then did the show anyway, for us, for James and Carla. It was surreal. I don't think I've ever done a show before when no one turned up.

After the show we decided that didn't work either. It was too weird. But we all agreed we wanted to do the last two shows. So today we found two actors and we will present it as a staged reading. We will all sit on stage and read the script. I think the text is strong enough.

Who knows if anyone will turn up? If they do, they will be treated to a bewildering text that I quite think will keep their interest.

At the Roxy this morning, I was invited to see Dark Root, a piece of physical theatre by the Mexart 2005 Dance and Theatre Collective. I was introduced to the director, Jorge. Turns out he and I both studied corporeal mime in Paris at the same school, at the same time, in 1986. One of the actors in the show, Ricardo, was also in Paris at that time, and we all studied at one time with Etienne Decroux and Daniel Stein.

I must admit I am tired; this has been a difficult time. The energy has been low the last few days. I am very proud of how we have dealt with all this. Everyone has done a great job and been very positive. The show must go on is a cliché, but for us it has been a reality.

Also, Kris left on Tuesday and I miss her. She was a big help to us.

The show must go on!

2005-08-09T14:32:00.000-07:00

It has been a whirl wind three days. The fest is just smashing and our opening yesterday went great. We had an audience - who would have thunk it? We had a reviewer show up and so we are hoping a good review tomorrow will bring in even more of an audience.
How ever we have had a natural disaster of sorts that has just been very difficult for all of us to deal with, especially James Moeller, our playwrite, actor, friend, and co-director of the company. His father, James Moeller, Sr. died last Friday. James and Carla were in Ireland when he got the call, and traveled here on Saturday for our first rehearsal. James told us what happened, and that he didn't know what he was going to do. Go home or stay till the end of the run.

After opening night, and after all of us having a few days to digest all this and think about it, James told us he had to go to his father's memorial in Chicago on Thursday. So he and Carla are leaving Edinburgh on Wednesday.

I thought about it and proposed to everyone that we continue the show, that we do it for James and his father and for us too. We find two actors to read the script on stage. We offer the show for free and tell anyone who shows up what they are about to see and why. It's real, baby. It's something we had to deal with. No one wanted to, but that is how you are tested in life, when you least expect it.

Turns out that we had a way to do it already. Pat's wife, Robin, who has seen the show at least ten times, will read Carla's part. And Pat, who plays Jonny Pilgrim, and never has a scene with Henry Goodbar, will changes hats and read James' part.
Tonight is Tuesday, and we are all doing the second show together for the last time in this venue In Edinburgh 2005. I know it will be kick-ass! But I have a feeling this will not be the end of Henry Goodbar Telepath.

We wish James all the love and courage in the world at this difficult time, but he his so glad to know that the show will go on. It always does, doesn't it.

Robin, break a leg!

Day 1

2005-08-04T14:19:00.000-07:00

It's been twenty-four hours since we left the house for the airport. The trip starts out well when we get to the airport and get bumped up to business class for the Chicago-London portion of the trip. Man, that was cool. How can I go back to the back of the plane again?

Mad dash through Heathrow to make our connection, but we made it. Get to the B&B no problem. Head out for a walk to the city center and it's pouring rain now. From sweltering heat 90+ in Chicago to cold rain, 63F in 24 hours.

I love the city, people are so friendly. The city is so alive. So many busses. Madame Pee-Pee at the train station scaring children for life.

Went to the Rocket Venue theatre and saw where we'll be performing. This is so friggen cool!

Found an old man bar that looked so cool from the outside we had to go in. So funny inside, but what a great pour of Guiness!

Very tired. Must leave this great little restaurant called the Honey Pot and get some sleep. As always, traveling inpsires. Being in a different country where they speak English, and I can't understand much of what is said - that is so cool.

Day 1 - travel!